A Double Agent
by Verity Grahams
Summary: This is a family story, a what if Snape knew Pettigrew had turned the potters into Voldemort and Snape had chose to act, one small change affects everything
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: I do not own Harry Potter**

 **republished after editing. The whole story is being edited and reposted**

* * *

Chapter One - Changing Allegiance

It was a dreary afternoon in Hogsmeade; the sky was overcast, the inhabitants were shy of being outdoors, but that was usual these days. The Dark Lord's grip on the wizarding world was now quite secure, and those daring to stand against him were few and far between. The wider wizarding world of Great Britain was now resigned to the oppression that had gripped their world. Before the 'great wizarding war', Hogsmeade had been a vibrant little country town, the only wholly magical village in the country. There was no knowing what you might see - children with the latest magical toys, usually brooms, each trying to outrace one another. They might even be eating one of many varieties of sweets with rather odd side effects, not unlike the peppermint fancies that would leave smoke coming out of your ears for a while. Joyful witches and wizards would usually be seen coming out of The Three Broomsticks, but there was barely anyone in there anymore; it was almost as lifeless as The Hogs Head.

Hogsmeade is somewhat famous for being so close to one of the greatest wizarding school in the world: Hogwarts. It just so happened that the current Headmaster, Albus Dumbledore, was holding interviews for various posts that day. He would be taking these meetings in an upper room in The Hog's Head. There were numerous applicants for each position, presumably because Dumbledore was widely believed to be the only wizard that ever frightened the Dark Lord, and as such Hogwarts was thought to be the safest place with Albus at the helm. Due to the number of applicants, the governors would likely turn many away before they even saw Albus. Two candidates were more important than any others, though Albus didn't know it yet.

One, Sybill Trelawney, was seen as a courtesy, she was a descendant of a great and genuine seer - Cassandra Trelawney. Albus was not keen on continuing the subject further at Hogwarts, nor was he all that impressed with Sybill's gift of foresight. The other was interested in the Defence Against the Dark Arts post - Severus Snape. Dumbledore remembered him from being a student, a gifted boy; however, lured unfortunately to the dark side. Albus realised that this was Voldemort's attempt at infiltrating Hogwarts.

Voldemort, also known as Tom Riddle, had applied for the job himself years before which Albus had declined. He had a duty of care for the young minds at Hogwarts, and he knew the plans that Voldemort would have for them. Since then it was challenging for Albus to keep staff in that position for more than a year, many suspected that there was a curse on that particular role, Albus knew.

In fact, Albus knew a great many things. He knew that if one wanted to be secretive, the Hog's Head was not the place to go, far too easy to be overheard in such a quiet, unused pub. One thing that he didn't know was that he would hear something in this first interview that needed not to remain secret. Albus had never suspected that Sybill might have authentic visions; her interview had so far gone dreadfully, and as Albus was going to close the meeting, he was shocked by her grand finale. Sybill went into a trance-like state - she was stiff as a board, tensed from the top of her head to the tips of her fingers; her voice that had once been airy and mystical was now just as harsh and gravelly, and when she spoke, the words seemed to be a genuine prophecy:

"The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not... and either must die at the hand of the other for neither can live while the other survives the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies…."

Only a moment passed before Sybill was back to her usual airy self as though nothing had happened. Albus was stunned, and what was more, Sybill seemed to have no idea what she had done. He, of course, decided to offer her the post; it appeared that she possessed the gift, though she was not aware of it and maybe she would give Albus greater insight. Albus looked into her large be-speckled eyes and saw hope, hope that Voldemort would be defeated.

Outside the door waiting for his interview was Severus. He had heard bits and pieces of a prophecy he didn't truly understand. Upon hearing the news of a child having the ability to defeat the Dark Lord, Severus knew that the information should be given to his Lord immediately. He always had misgivings, and with a child being the subject of the report he had to offer, he felt sick. They, however, were his family; he must be loyal, knowing that if The Dark Lord found out he even pondered this, and he had ways, then that would be it. The tale of Regulus Black was evidence enough. He was a Death Eater, and this is the life of a Death Eater, fraught with fear, but once chosen there was no going back. Albus never had to refuse Severus the job; self-preservation had won the internal battle once again. Albus full of hope was blissfully unaware that Voldemort too would hear some of these words.

Snape reappeared outside a grand and dark looking estate. He wasn't eager to give his Lord the prophecy, knowing that the only option would be acting now as the child would be only an infant, they surely would have to remove the threat. Any feelings of disconcertedness had to be dismissed, thinking only of the will of his Lord. He added to his uniform the mask that he had to wear in the presence of the Dark Lord. Severus' robes billowed behind him as he strode purposefully towards the gates. An absent wave of his wand and the gates dissolved into smoke, just long enough for him to pass through. The gates solidified as he walked through to pretentious garden complete with the ridiculous pair of white peacocks strutting on the lawns.

'Suits Lucius' thought Snape somewhat snidely. He continued through great wooden doors to a large dining room where Voldemort sat at the head of a table with many masked faces. He stood in the entrance, waiting to be called, head bowed submissively.

Voldemort glanced lazily over to his servant. He perceived the tension in Severus' body, his body stiff, his fist clenched. Voldemort regarded him to be desperate to serve, never considering that there was a war going on inside the man. Voldemort associated these signs with good news; Severus had proved himself to be a great gatherer of information, making himself a useful servant. From the outside, it was clear that this was all he, The Dark Lord, wanted from his subject - their usefulness. If this were to pass, then so would his favour; things would be even worse were you to become injurious - he rewarded failure with death. To strive for his regard was glamorised in the Death Eaters minds, but this was the risk of being in his inner circle, unlimited favour or absolute destruction. Voldemort nodded at Severus, permitting him to talk.

"I think this news is best to be shared My Lord privately." Severus spoke evenly.

Severus' had now made his choice; the Dark Lord sensed something, and let's not forget that he was a Legillimens. If he were to keep quiet now, it would be suicide. He bowed his head slightly, his eyes fixed on the one he called Lord.

Voldemort stood and gestured to a door at the side of the hall. They walked together, Severus' eyes fixed on his master who moved gracefully towards the private chamber. He remained silent securing the door behind them, and silently he cast a spell of his own making; 'muffliato'. He then turned to the Dark Lord, finally removing his mask.

"My Lord." He spoke, at last.

The moment had come, to speak or not to speak.

"I have overheard a prophecy, My Lord." He bowed his head submissively.

A secret fear welled inside him; dare he continue? It is dangerous to speak against the Dark Lord; to speak of his defeat could be perilous. Not to mention the threat would be equally disastrous. Severus' thought went to the unnamed, innocent child he would be condemning to death. Severus was an intelligent man; he had come too far, and it would be worse not to speak. Self-preservation was a very Slytherin trait.

"My Lord the prophecy speaks of the birth of one that would have the power to overcome you…" Severus paused filled with shame; he had turned a child over to the Dark Lord, he had no choice but to brush the feeling aside. He waited for the reaction. Voldemort stood silently for a moment, thinking, nothing to read on his face. Finally, he spoke.

"Severus, where did you hear this prophecy?" His voice was sweet, silky almost, it would have been beautiful if it didn't freeze your insides with fear.

"I was waiting to be interviewed by Albus Dumbledore, as instructed my Lord." He paused momentarily.

He glanced at his Lords' face; always reading his mood, sensing either his Lord's displeasure or his delight.

"The interview was in an upper room at The Hog's Head Inn. Sybill Trelawney made the prophecy; she was by an applicant for the Divination post. Albus Dumbledore witnessed it." He again paused waiting for a reaction; he pushed aside the usual squirm. His Lord's face was even; no hint of either anger or pleasure. He dared himself to hold back something, something to save the child.

"Please, Severus, recite the prophecy for me ...exactly." His voice cold and uncaring, he gave nothing away.

Voldemort was calm and confident; there was little fear in this prophecy for him. At least that is what Severus read on his face, and he was by no means easy to fool.

"My Lord, it was as follows; 'The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies.' That is all I heard my Lord." Severus bowed again.

His shame increased. He realised all he would have had to do was keep the second line to himself; yet ashamed as he was ensuring his own safety seemed of more importance. His Lord's confidence helped fear of retribution subside. The room was silent, and the air seemed to freeze as the atmosphere changed. Voldemort's mind moved over the words that Severus had spoken.

Voldemort took up a seat in the corner by the fire; his mind flitting over the information and those that were in the Order of the Phoenix. They were the only ones that were still willing to defy him. Many had tried, many had fallen. Not many had survived more than one encounter with him; and even fewer couples. There were only two in fact - and only one couple - that came to Voldemort's mind. James and Lily Potter. They had been a thorn in his side, they had defied him, yes, three times. He thought over the words again; he knew that the Potters had recently conceived, but when would the child be born? Was the Potters' child destined to overthrow him? He sat still, silently sorting through the various facts that he had stored in his mind. It came, like lightning, yes, it fits. James and Lily Potter, their son, must die. Severus was still stood there awaiting instruction.

"The Potters are the ones that the prophecy speaks off; but fear not, I shall take care of that myself." There was a tone of finality in his voice.

Severus knew that he should leave, but he couldn't; he loved her, and saving her mattered more than his own life. For her, he would willingly die. These words froze Severus' insides; his mind was darting through memories of Lily; he did not desire her, he adored her. She was his worst mistake. Severus should have loved her when they had had the chance. There was nothing he could do to save her; his heart sank - he felt hopeless. Then in a moment of faith, he fell to his knees before his Dark Lord.

"My Lord," he began, "the woman, Lily, may I ask for her life to be spared? I implore, she is … special to me." He stopped, head bowed, subservient.

He hoped and begged that this information would be enough to purchase her life. He prayed to all he knew - to every deity he knew of, even to Merlin himself. His shame redoubled over his failure even to try and save her child; he also felt shame at not saving James, though he despised the man.

"Severus," he glanced over at the young man before him.

Desperation oozed from Severus' every pore. All Voldemort saw was a weakness.

"I think we can find a more suitable … companion. There are many fine pure-bloods within the ranks." He spoke coolly.

He glanced at Severus; his face was utterly impassive.

"Is she worth so much to you, Severus?" he asked. "So much that you would risk your life, simply to beg for hers?"

"Yes, My Lord." His heart was thumping in his chest as he spoke.

"I will consider it; you are after all, a faithful servant after all."

Ice gripped his heart; he should have felt relaxed, knowing her life might be safe. At that moment Severus knew that he did not trust this man; her life was too precious to place in the hands of this mass murderer. Severus had never had to guard himself so much in the presence of his master; he knew he had to ensure her protection. Was there was no one else? To Severus, a world without Lily was no world at all. Now there was nothing that he would be able to do about it.

"I understand completely, My Lord. Thank you for considering it, My Lord." His tone was dull and emotionless.

From Severus' hard exterior no one would know, not even Voldemort, that his heart was secretly breaking. He resigned himself and left the Dark Lord's presence; moving from the headquarters immediately, he didn't know where to go; he didn't know of anyone that would be able to help him.

He disapperated and found himself on a hillside with a small thicket of trees. There was a small sunlit river glittering through the trunks; it was a special place for him, it was the place he met Lily. At that moment he knew that there was only one person that might be able to help him. Having delivered messages before, Severus knew how to contact him; he sent word and waited.

Severus was panting and pacing, and in his hand, he gripped his wand. His heart still full of despair and now filling with fear; he felt he had made a choice, the only option really. This gave him no safe ground - from now on there was no side to call his own. Severus was a traitor to both sides of the war. Those in the light had always hated and rejected him; and he expected to die, but if that was the price to save Lily, then so be it. Suddenly a blinding, jagged jet of white light flew through the air. Severus dropped to his knees, and his wand flew out of his hand.

"Don't kill me!" He begged.

"That was not my intention." Albus' voice was hard but kinder than it ought to be.

Any sound of Dumbledore apparating had been drowned by the thundering sound of the wind in the branches. He stood before Snape with his robes whipping around him, and his face was illuminated from below in the light cast by his wand.

"Well, Severus? What message does Lord Voldemort have for me?"

"No - No message - I'm here on my account!"

Snape was wringing his hands; he looked a little mad, with his straggling, black hair flying around him.

"I - I come with a warning - no, a request - please -"

Dumbledore flicked his wand. Though leaves and branches still flew through the night air around them, silence fell on the spot where he and Snape faced each other.

"What request could a Death Eater make of me?"

"The - the prophecy … the prediction, Trelawney…"

"Ah, yes," said Dumbledore. "How much did you relay to Lord Voldemort?"

"Everything - Everything I heard!" said Snape. "That is why - it is for that reason - he thinks it means Lily Evans!"

"The prophecy did not refer to a woman," said Dumbledore. "It spoke of a boy born at the end of July-"

"You know what I mean! He thinks it means her son; he is going to hunt her down - he will kill them all -"

"If she means so much to you," said Dumbledore, "surely Lord Voldemort will spare her? Could you not ask for mercy for the mother, in exchange for the son?"

"I have - I have asked him -" he paused.

"You disgust me," said Dumbledore, his voice full of contempt. "You do not care, then, about the deaths of her husband and child? They can die as long as you have what you want?"

"I know, I disgust myself," Snape spoke barely above a whisper and looked up at Dumbledore. "Hide them all," he croaked. "Keep them - safe. Please?" It was the second time he had begged for her life in one night, and he knew he had to ask for theirs, too - losing them would destroy her and he couldn't have that.

"And what will you give me in return, Severus?"

"In - in return?" Snape gaped at Dumbledore, after a long moment he said what he knew to be true; what he would give for her. "Anything."

They talked for a long time on the hilltop; they spoke about what Dumbledore would require as payment. The more they spoke, it seemed this payment was a kindness to Severus. Some weights lifted from his overburdened shoulders, and Dumbledore settled an altogether different weight; Severus accepted the challenge of being Dumbledore's spy. His heart was still full of fear; the Dark Lords retribution was fearsome. Snape may pay dearly for Lily's life; and yet hope remained because the world would still have Lily Evans in it. That, thought Snape, was worth dying for.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N: I do not own Harry Potter**

 **This has been submitted before - I have given it a good overhaul and will be working on re-writing chapter 3 next.**

* * *

Chapter two - The Secret Keeper

Godric's Hollow was a quaint, predominantly wizard populated village. The town usually had a warm and welcoming feel, but in the throes of autumn the trees were bare, and the ground was littered with crispy golden leaves. The streets were lined with little cottages with a beautiful idyllic church on the corner, in the distance, there was a breathtaking view of rolling hills; it was just like a fairy tale. It would have been the ideal place to live if it weren't a wizarding hot-spot and a target for You-Know-Who. There was a constant feeling of dread in the air - that was what it felt like in any densely magically populated area these days. It was almost paradoxical how the atmosphere differed from the blissful and peaceful exterior. Set further back there was one cottage that seemed grander than the rest; it was positioned as such that you wouldn't be able to see unless you already knew it was there - meaning there were no prying eyes to see the commotion that went on inside.

A man approached the cottage - he was tall, slender yet muscular, he had shoulder-length shaggy dark hair and some rough stubble. He dressed in bright robes with a grey waistcoat underneath. His wand was holstered at his hip, and his body language was tense - his hand hovering constantly. 'Constant vigilance'- his Auror mentor had taught him. There were beautifully manicured lawns with colourful flowers and ivy climbing up the side of the low cottage. Lights flickered inside, and a group could be seen arguing animatedly inside as he strolled through the door. Finally safe from prying eyes and ears, safely concealed under the many enchantments surrounding the beautiful cottage - he joined the congregation inside. He trusted almost every person in that room. Unfortunately, at times such as this, mistrust was often bred; there was one present he believed had turned to the other side.

"Sirius!" A tall man with messy black hair and bright hazel eyes which glinted behind his round glasses approached him; he walked over and immediately greeted his friend.

"James!" Sirius smiled, this was the man he trusted more than any other.

Looking around the room he saw other members of the Order of the Phoenix. This was an organisation built by their old Headmaster to quell the rising tide of prejudice. However, it had failed in that regard, and now they were at all out war. The Order was filled with those that were brave enough to fight against The Dark Lord. The first of these was; Remus Lupin. He was taller than the others and skinny, his face was covered in scars, he looked unkempt and weak. This was usual as it was shortly after the lunar cycle had come to an end. Remus Lupin was a werewolf, targeted by a cruel man at the tender age of five, and he had grown with the burden of Lycanthropy. Remus went through a traumatic transformation each month; the condition caused much prejudice from the rest of the wizarding community - although he didn't know it - even from his friends.

Someone had been passing information. James and Sirius believed it was Remus, allowing the stigma to affect their judgement, they ignored the man that he indeed was. Remus walked over to embrace his friend Sirius Black, a man that he trusted no matter what.

"Sirius, what took so long!" he asked worriedly, he held him tightly and then pulled away, smiling weakly.

"I had to throw off a tail." He replied - he wanted to add that someone must have passed information about the meeting, but thought better of it.

Next, there was Peter Pettigrew. He was not as skilled or as handsome as the others. A pot-bellied young man with dirty brown-blonde hair, his hazel eyes were watering profusely, and he fidgeted with his hands as though wary and scared even of the shadows. Peter was a close friend of James, Sirius and Remus from their time at Hogwarts. Peter was one who was never suspected by his friends - partly because they all underestimated his backbone and skill to complete any kind of double life.

"S-S Sirius…" Peter reached out a hand to his old friend.

Sirius gripped his hand firmly and patted his shoulder, he looked at him in the eyes and smiled, slightly impressed he was brave enough to get involved. There were a few Aurors here, including Alastor Moody, Sirius' mentor at the Auror office and of course Albus Dumbledore himself. The former was large and imposing; he had many scars and a prosthetic leg. He was both dark and impressive, but no one would ever suspect Moody; he was known for his hatred of dark wizards - dedicating his life to ridding the world of the filth. Albus, however, was almost a polar opposite; he was tall and wore inappropriately bright robes. His bright blue eyes sparkled with unexpected joy, considering the circumstance, but that was Dumbledore, he always saw the hope in the darkness.

"We just need to wait for Lily," James commented pacing anxiously.

"Just putting young Harry to bed?" Albus asked in a kindly manner as he sat down, making himself at home. With a wave of his wand, the coffee table was filled with various refreshments; butterbeer, tea, coffee, and a wide range of biscuits appeared almost instantly.

It wasn't long before, Lily, a beautiful redheaded woman, tiptoed downstairs delicately. As she walked into the living room, she held her index finger up to her mouth, signalling them to be quiet. Lily gently shut the living room door, then shuffled over to the couch in her fluffy slippers. She glanced around the room, taking in the friends that were left fighting, they had lost so much, now she feared that they would lose more. Lily couldn't bear that these people were risking their lives for her and her family.

Everyone started expectantly at Dumbledore. They were waiting for his words after all; he was the one that they hoped held the key to defeating You Know Who's reign of tyranny. This was the problem, though, they were all in the dark - all they knew was that James and Lily's lives were in danger. Dumbledore was the only relatively relaxed person in the room. Albus always seemed to be unaware that everyone was expecting something from him, though maybe it wasn't the reality - perhaps he just chose not to rush. He helped himself to the teapot on the table, making a cup of tea that seemed to have an excess of sugar. Albus leaned back as he held the dainty teacup stirring, then looked up.

"Sit" was all he said.

Everyone settled into a chair - 'settled' wasn't the word, they looked like they were sat on hot coals - almost more worried than they had been before. Peter, in particular, seemed to be very afraid. Dumbledore, though he was the most relaxed, had an air of more concern than they were used to; he was always bright, shiny and looking at the hope in any situation - and that is what they dearly needed.

"I have witnessed a prophecy." He paused, the room tensed and expectation filled the room. "It concerns the destruction of 'The Dark Lord' - Voldemort."

He said calmly waiting for the room to recover from his alarming statement. The body language was mixed; some were daring to hope, almost relaxing, particularly in the case of Sirius. James, seemed wary, this couldn't be it? James had been told that his family were in danger - Lily knew this as well. She sat holding herself, leaning forward as if to hear how they would be able to put an end to this war before Albus even formed the words. Peter, cowered in fear, more than before Dumbledore had spoken. Remus was very calm, almost resolute and unmoved by the words - not unlike the other Aurors. They appeared to take the words as a challenge.

"The catch being, Voldemort has heard part of it." As he said this his looked weary, older, and more lined - Albus was worried.

It was that expression that sucked the smallest scrap of hope that had been in the air.

"And the prophecy?" Remus asked, his tone cautiously hopeful. "How does it put James and Lily in danger?"

Remus wasn't the only one staring at Albus intently - the entire rooms attention was focused on their leader, and all silently asking the same question.

"I won't be telling you," Dumbledore responded calmly.

"But-" Remus began, he almost did a double take, his expression confused.

"Information is precious - no one is in need of this information, I will, therefore, keep it to myself. This prophecy could apply to two children, both born at the same time; Harry Potter and Alice and Franks son, Neville." Albus' voice was quiet, solemn. His face was weary, and that's when the realisation hit - James and Lily were not being targeted, Harry was.

James relaxed slightly he supposed that it wasn't set in stone now - Frank and Alice were in just the same position. As cold-hearted as it sounded, he was glad that there was the chance that another family would be targeted; and here he allowed the smallest shred of hope he allowed.

"Albus? It's not definite that Voldemort will be coming for Harry?" He almost smiled, a flicker of guilt also appeared on his face, failing to think of the Longbottoms and their potential loss.

"I'm afraid…" Dumbledore paused, knowing he was about to decimate the Potter last hope. "My contact is certain that Harry will be the target. Voldemort believes that Harry is the one that will be his downfall. I have been warned to hide you all immediately."

James was frozen in fear - no longer trusting himself, or Albus, to speak. He needed this to stop. The rest of the room didn't fare much better; each face fell; their last hope was a baby. This baby, Harry, was now number one on Voldemorts on hit-list. Lily reacted the worst; her face was frozen as she pulled herself in a protective cocoon on the sofa. Silent tears ran down her face, utter despair overtaking her.

James watched his wife as she succumbed to hopelessness. Aside from the fear all he felt was confusion and anger - confused that this was his life! James should have had a happy family complete with a wife and children; they should be safe and full of joy, not endangered and hiding. He was angry at a prophecy that put his son in such danger and furious with the spy that would share this information. Does a Death Eater not even have mercy on innocent children? He was angry at a seer for daring to speak the words.

By contrast, Sirius seemed hopeful. He was ready to do whatever it took to keep his family safe - after all the Potters were everything to him. No one doubted that he wouldn't give everything that he had to keep them safe.

"What's the best protection that we can give them?" Sirius asked urgently. He focused on action - doing something to protect them.

"I would suggest The Fidelius Charm - it requires a Secret Keeper," Albus answered calmly. "I have been told that Voldemort is going to be making a concerted effort to discover the means of protection given to the Potters."

"Okay, so tell me - what does this charm do?" James asked urgently.

"It seals a secret inside the soul of another. If Voldemort were outside your front window, he would not be able to see or find you, not unless the secret keeper willingly told him where you are. The information cannot be forcefully taken, not via Veriteserum or even by using the Imperious Curse."

"That sounds perfect!" Remus almost rejoiced, "We can perform the charm as soon as possible and they will fine!"

"He will suspect this method - should Voldemort discover the Secret Keeper he will maim and torture them to get the location, and finally he will kill them," Albus replied. "You need someone that either Voldemort will not target or will die rather than divulge the information."

"What happened's if the person, the Secret Keeper that is, is killed in the process of Voldemort trying to get the information?" Remus asked everything about his posture was focused.

"Those that are being protected will then become the Secret Keepers, and the protection would still be in place."

Sirius also watched Remus - his mistrust was intensified; he didn't like potential spies knowing the boundaries of his friend's protection.

"The only weakness would be, the individual chosen?" Remus questioned again.

"Yes, I would be cautious who you picked as Secret Keeper," Albus warned.

"If choosing a Secret Keeper that you can trust completely is paramount - maybe this discussion would be better with just yourself, James and Lily. When they choose someone, then bring them into the loop." Remus suggested.

The room fell silent once again. Each member couldn't help but wonder who the Secret Keeper would be. Sirius and James were both equally suspicious of Remus' 'tips' while Lily was still frozen with fear for her child. Peter, for the first time, stopped his twitching with dread, but, instead looked intensely thoughtful. Remus stood firm, his weary face, set, determined.

"Personally James, I think Sirius would be the best bet - but I also think it's fairly obvious. Could we put Sirius under some form of protection too?" Remus asked the wise older man, who nodded in reply. "It's not worth the risk of involving..." he trailed off, though his eyes flickered to Peter for the slightest moment.

"I agree it should be kept private -" Sirius began "but I'm not afraid of someone knowing that I would put my name forward."

Sirius turned to Lily and knelt at her side; "I would die before I told anyone Lily, you have my word. I would make the unbreakable vow!"

Lily looked into his eyes, she smiled. "You wouldn't have to. I think Remus is right; we need to protect Sirius too. Anyone in this room is susceptible to Veriteserum - and we know they have an excellent potions master." Lily said sadly, wiping tears from her cheek.

Remus reached over squeezing her hand, knowing the pain Lily felt over the dark genius that brewed for the Dark Lord. She looked at him - Lily would miss Remus most of all, the first Marauder she had called a friend. Saying goodbye to everyone would be hard, not being able to fight would be just as hard. Their lives since Hogwarts had been about fighting this war, and how she had to hide. Knowing Harry was at risk - should couldn't do anything else.

"I think … everyone should leave." Sirius suggested.

"No- Please, just five more minutes…" Lily sobbed.

"Lil, we need to get this sorted," James urged, "Me, you, Sirius and Albus can plan this- we don't want anyone to be targeted because they have information."

She nodded helplessly. "I'll miss you all - so much." She whispered.

"We'll miss you too Lily," Remus smiled, "You're like a sister to me, but you need to be safe. We will all be here when you're safe."

Lily nodded, tears started rolling down her face and clung to him, whispering in his ear how much she would miss him. The others said their goodbyes also, but Remus was the last to leave. The remaining members of the Order, Sirius, James, Lily and Albus were now alone. Lily pulled herself together and wiped her tears away, ready for another fight - not the one that she was used to but a fight none-the-less.

"There is someone else I would like to consult with." Albus began, the Potters nodded. "I've arranged for him to join us, but his identity must remain secret - he will only show when I signal him, and I can only do that if everyone swears to protect his identity." There was no room for argument.

They agreed eagerly, thinking only of their safety and how this person might help.

* * *

Severus was waiting in the old dingy living room of his childhood home; his parents had moved on some time ago. He felt the signal to arrive at Godric's Hollow, nerves and butterflies. Severus was about to see her again. He had already paid with a year of service for her protection, and he knew she would now have had the child, and he would be there. They were going into hiding in the next few days. It was the first time he had seen her since Hogwarts, the first time that they had spoken since the fifth year. A lump grew in his throat as the memories that were so carefully held back behind a fortress of Occlumency barriers.

With a strange excitement, despite the desperate circumstances, Severus apparated. He appeared in the Garden of the little cottage in Godric's Hollow, as the nerves built up again he focused on the memory of her eyes. He couldn't help picture them as they were the last time they spoke - filled with tears as she refused to talk to him again. That was the day his heart broke. He walked into the house, knowing that they were expecting someone - not him, Albus would be the only friendly face.

* * *

Severus walked into the living room. Sirius and James immediately drew their wands - anger being their immediate reaction. He only focused on one face - Lily's. Her green eyes were hard, and they looked out at him, horrified; it hurt more than her tear-filled eyes. Severus hated seeing himself through her eyes; shame bubbled up inside his chest.

Albus tried to intervene for Severus - but he stopped that. Severus wanted to handle this himself.

"Him?" Sirius questioned. "How dare you to show your face here. You filthy, vile scum!" he sneered.

What this man thought of him was of little consequence to Severus. He continued forwards, taking out his wand handling as he pushed past Sirius and James. Now level with Lily, he got down on his knees handing her his wand, handle first.

"Lily…" his tone was even, unemotional, and yet he struggled to get even this out.

Lily was dumbstruck and took the offered wand.

"Sev?" Lily's voice was uncertain. She was looking at this man that would have been a perfect stranger, yet in his eyes, she saw the boy she had grown up with.

"I promise, I will do anything to protect you, and those that you love."

Lily's lip trembled as she stared into his coal-like eyes. "Sev - my Sev?"

Severus was filled with shock - nerves filled with hope as her expression changed. She smiled, and more tears fell.

"It's me - I'm so so-" he began but was interrupted by her pulling him to a warm embrace.

"I missed you, Sev. I missed you so much." She wept into his shoulder.

"I missed you too, and I was an idiot-"

"Forget it. It's all in the past." She smiled moving out of his arms.

I came because you have a spy in the Order." He now took a moment to glance around the room, James and Sirius were dumbstruck. "The Dark Lord is keeping this close to his chest. I cannot find out who it is, not without arousing suspicion. Lily - please be careful! You're using a Secret Keeper?" He couldn't believe his luck, Lily would never love him, but it looked like he would be able to get a small piece of her back - a bit of Lily, that was worth the world.

James stood forward, "Yes, do you have anything that would point us in the right direction?"

"I know it's someone close to you," he spoke in hushed tones, eyeing Sirius. "Are you sure you can trust, him?" he asked Lily.

"I trust him with my life," she replied resolutely.

"I think we were right James - Remus!" He stepped forward, all aggression towards Severus forgot - at least for a moment.

"Are you sure that it's Remus?" Severus asked, "I would have sooner assumed you." He snapped.

"We had suspected this for a while, and we have accounted for those that were in meetings that had information leaked." Sirius spat back - his distaste evident.

James didn't react that much better, the little display with Lily almost made him angrier; Lily's response stung slightly. This was a friendship he couldn't and wouldn't understand. It was a part of her that wasn't his, and he seethed with jealousy - not something James was used to.

"Thank you, Severus." Albus smiled. "I wanted you to know who risked their lives for you." He looked towards James pointedly.

James' eyes were downcast. No one liked to be told off by Albus Dumbledore, no matter how gently.

"It goes further than this," Severus continued. "The Dark Lord knows that you will be using a Secret Keep - the process of elimination - anything more secure is dark in nature." He smiled curtly at Albus.

"Severus - I have told you we will not use such methods!" Albus scolded.

"Of course, Albus." Severus nodded, "He is making a concerted effort to find out who the Secret Keeper will be. He even plans to attempt to control who your Secret Keeper will be. The Dark Lord has placed me at Hogwarts in the hopes that I can discover this amongst any other of Albus' secrets. The Dark Lord believes that getting the information from whoever holds your secret will be an easy task. He knows that Imperious, and Veritaserum won't work - his methods are brutal and will yield results from the bravest. Whoever you choose will need protection, a great deal of security."

Something unexpected happened - the most unlikely person decided to show Severus his human side; he took the wand from Lily, stepped towards the dark-haired man - he handed the wand back. It was a significant sign of trust. His eyes were kinder than they had ever been before, at least when looking at Severus.

"You love my wife?" James asked.

Severus' jaw stiffened, and he turned his head away.

"That's answer enough," James replied.

"Love isn't a strong enough word. She's the only person." He sneered.

"That I will trust." James' voice was sincere. "I owe you my life. I owe you everything. You gave hope to my family, and for this, I am eternally grateful."

He then held a hand out to Severus who was frozen, unsure of how to handle this olive branch. He did what Lily would want him to do; he reached out a hand, and they shook. There was no friendship here; however, they were both on the same side. It was a reprieve from hatred at least. This did not change anything with Sirius. Sirius had an ingrained hatred of the Dark Arts, a hatred of Slytherin and the Pureblood agency that his family had stood for. His hatred stemmed from the childhood that he had always tried to escape - Severus had a way of symbolising all that he hated. Severus nodded sharply at James and turned once again to Lily.

"If you need anything, you can get a message to me through Albus - anything." He smiled - such a rare smile, and after another embrace with a loud crack, he disapparated.

As soon as he left, the room fell silent. Lily was stunned by the exchanged - she adored Severus. He had been her closest friend and the one that told her what she was. Their friendship was the longest one that she had until it was broken and she could no longer see her friend, but today she seemed to have found the boy from the hillside with the river. Severus had taught her so much, and Lily found forgiveness was easy to give. After all, it was the choices that had separated them - one small choice repaired the rift easily. Having a bit of Severus made the world that much more bearable.

"Sirius, I don't think you should be the Secret Keeper…" James blurted out.

"James- I would never!" Sirius looked hurt.

"No-" James exclaimed, "I'm worried about Remus..." he trailed off, unwilling to voice the concern that had been building steadily.

"James, I think you're wrong, Remus would never-!" Lily interjected.

"Lily, there's no one else it could be," James stated sadly. "We need to trust someone that he won't expect."

"He wouldn't James. He just wouldn't!" Lily replied adamantly.

"Lily, I want the best chance for everyone; Padfoot, Peter, everyone. Remus is a liability, and it could put Sirius in danger!" The tension built up, neither James or Sirius had dared to put it out there so plainly before.

"How do you know it is him? What has he done to make you suspect him? It's not who Remus is!" Lily demanded heatedly.

"Lil, the information that has been fed back - There isn't anyone else with the capability or the access. I'm sorry, I love Moony, but he's gone over to the other side. It breaks my heart, but I think right now we have to face that fact - or at least err on the side of caution." Sirius spoke earnestly.

"Caution is right, but I believe that you may be wrong." He looked at the two men in the room as he said this. "Remus has brought his own concerns about who he feels is the one passing information-"

"-Of course he has! That's what you'd do though, isn't it? Divert attention. I work with Moody, and I know it's not him. I trust Shacklebolt with my life - if Moody vouches for him that's good enough for me." Sirius interrupted. "And the Longbottoms are potentially on the chopping block here as well, so I doubt very much its either of them. Other members of the order haven't been there for half of the information that was leaked! Remus fits."

"Pettigrew- He was here for everything that got leaked!" inserted Lily, "And that's who Remus doesn't trust!"

This is where the trouble lied - no one completely trusted anyone. Truthfully throughout this reign of tyranny; how the Dark Lord turned friend-on-friend was probably the single most damaging blow to the resistance.

"Psh-" James laughed. "I'm sorry Lil, but that's laughable; I'm not saying that he wouldn't do it, I'm saying he doesn't have the smarts or backbone - to pull it off. Remus - he's a practised liar." He finished sombrely.

Lily already saw James' point of view. Albus hated this most of all, the mistrust.

"Sleep on it before you decide." Albus paused, "I am more than willing to be the Secret Keeper. Remember you need to perform the Charm tomorrow - he will start searching soon. I suggest you opt for trust over an attempt to outsmart a spy." Dumbledore picked up a soft parcel, thanked James and Lily and immediately disapparated.

The potters were left with making a decision that could change their whole world.

They decided the next morning to make Peter Pettigrew the Secret Keeper, but they told everyone it was Sirius. It was something that no one would expect. Arrangements were made for Peter's protection, and Sirius was going to be checking on him intermittently, and delivering whatever they needed to each home. Lily performed the charm herself, and their fate was now sealed. The Secret Keeper had been chosen.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I don't own Harry Potter.**

 **This has been posted before and has been re-written with a beta reader. This is partly because I have developed and have a higher standard now, and partly because I have one beta reader that is sticking around and able to point out all the silly mistakes that I am ashamed where still in here. Thinking-of-a-dream**

* * *

Chapter 3 - Pettigrew Revealed

Malfoy Manor was an impressive, imposing and ostentatious estate. The country home was anything but idyllic, it had a dark gothic edge with glittering silver and white that couldn't lighten the desolate atmosphere. The grounds had pure white peacocks and marble monuments, just another mark of the monstrous Malfoy ego. The main doors were large oak, ornately carved, giving the impression of royalty - their belief that their bloodline was wizarding aristocracy was evident. The entrance way was glamorous and dark, a physical representation of the Malfoy family ethos. Just beyond where more large oak double doors leading to a grand dining area. There were many people congregated around a dark oak table. A silver and yet strangely dark chandelier hung from the ceiling providing only a faint glow, making the atmosphere that much more sinister.

At the head of the table sat a tall, pale man; his eyes were red, his pupils were almost like slits, and his nose was strangely flat to his face with long narrow nostrils - it gave the man a sinister snake-like appearance. The Dark Lord and his journey into the depths of dark magic had taken its toll on the once handsome face. The cause of the change in his appearance was unknown, but the more his monstrous regime took hold, the more it showed in his physicality. The rest of the occupants surrounding the table focused only on the pale serpentine man. They were all dressed in long identical dark robes, and glittering, tarnished silver masks, like a uniform. There was one empty chair beside the one they called 'Lord'.

In the shadows, a short and stumpy figure waited; he was a fidgeting pathetic excuse for a man. He had the same black robes, though they were not as grand or as decadent as others. He had mousy brown hair and pale watery eyes. He was fearful and a direct contradiction to every other person in the room.

In another corner, there for all to see, lay the mutilated corpse of a previous disciple. He had clearly displeased his Master. There were too many ways to anger the dictator and very few styles in which he would choose to respond. This man's penalty was a snake feasting on his flesh.

"I would like to introduce, our latest addition" the Dark Lord gestured to the dumpy man. "Peter Pettigrew."

He didn't wear one of the masks. He was unmistakably consumed by fear and desperation, and as he eyed the body in the corner, the thought must have crossed his mind; 'maybe I made the wrong choice?' However, it did not. Peter, like so many others, believed that pleasing the Dark Lord is always the safest option, no matter the cost. Peter was paying a high price tonight, and one that he was paying willingly, anything to buy his own safety.

"Peter has been most helpful in recent times." The voice of their leader was gentle, silky and almost sweet, despite this, he still instilled fear into all that heard him. "He has been our man within The Order." He smiled inauspiciously.

"Peter has delivered the most helpful snippets." He continued. "He has been most desperate to join our ranks, but as everyone here knows, I expect payment." he paused.

Lord Voldemort gazed at his disciples. Some of them served out of ambition, some believed in the misguided ideals, some out of wonder, and some even served out of fear.

"Peter has finally paid the price to bear the name 'death eater'," Voldemort continued his monologue. "He has become the Secret Keeper for the Potter Family; they have defied me long enough. Peter and one other will be assisting me with this task as it is a matter of the utmost security." His slight smirk was frightening, he stood and gestured to the men on either side of him; Peter and one other. The Dark Lord then walked from the room, his two supporters in tow, both spies, and both trusted by the Dark Lord.

Severus' dark eyes bore into the snivelling man. He was filled with disgust just looking at him. Severus desperately grasped at the limited information he had, wondering how we could fix this, he tried to formulate a plan.

"Peter, I would like to introduce you to Severus, a most adept and loyal servant of mine," he explained in his smooth and silky tone. "Severus gave me the primary intelligence that made it obvious that the Potters needed to be terminated. It was only right that he assist me in the execution."

Severus removed his mask - disdain for Peter evident on his face. The Dark Lord would assume this was due to their past history, or even merely because Peter was the epitome of all that is pathetic - no one could argue with that. The rat-like man quivered, his eyes darting around the room, the sheer weight of his fear consuming him. Severus had to give him a little credit; that small amount of Gryffindor bravery served him enough to keep him upright and able to speak before the most feared wizard in history. Severus was no small fry either.

"The Potters are hidden in the town of Godric's' Hollow, my Lord. They live in the small cottage across from the church on the main street. It's known as Peverell Lodge and is under the protection of the Fidelius Charm. But I am the Secret Keeper, and I grant you entry, my Lord!" Peter finished his treachery with a low bow, awaiting his reward. His voice was a wretched squeak from start to finish, and yet he spoke with a fluidity that told Severus he did not regret his actions.

"Give me your arm, Wormtail," demanded the Dark Lord.

Peter handed over his arm and his new master immediately pulled up his robe, revealing his bare forearm. The shrewd wizard then pulled out his wand, pushing it into Peter's skin. Peter immediately let out a pained cry as he sank to the floor in agony; black ink spread from the wand coursing beneath the surface of his skin, bubbling with the heat created by the dark mark being burned into his skin. Peter watched, morbidly, as the ink moved and swirled burning as it went. Peter squirmed and tried to pull away, but the Dark Lord had a vice-like grip as he held the wand in place. Finally, the ink revealed a skull with a serpent protruding from its mouth. Peter was officially a Death Eater - there was no going back now.

"Severus, I will go to the Potters - tonight. There is no time to lose, I want you to work harder on your connection with the old fool; Dumbledore. It's an integral part of my plan to get you inside Hogwarts." he looked at Severus, considering him carefully.

"I would like to get you into the Dark Arts position," he continued. "it's clear we need to press on and educate the youth more appropriately. A belated warning of tonight's attack could earn the fools trust and your revelation of Peter as a spy is no bother to me now." Somehow he kept a calm and even tone, all the while talking about the complete destruction of lives.

"From there we need to work on eradicating the Mudblood's from our society. That will be a two-prong plan involving the ministry as well. As you saw earlier, my man in the ministry has failed me. I shall task another with getting close to Millicent Bagnold, I want an assignation or to have her under the imperious curse before plans can proceed any further." he paused reaching for Severus' face, stroking him tenderly. "If only I had more like you..." he trailed off, walking from the room, no other words to be said.

Severus immediately disapperated.

* * *

Back at Godric's Hollow James and Lily settled in for the night, relaxed in the certainty that they were safe. A fire roared in the hearth, the mantelpiece above and every wall was littered with pictures of family and friends - mainly of a small baby. The same baby, now a little bigger, lay on the plush rug giggling. The child was Harry, he had a mess of jet black hair an unnatural amount for one so young, and bright jade green eyes. Harry's chubby legs were kicking in excitement as his tiny hands grasped for bubbles that issued from his father's wand.

Severus Snape shouldn't have been able to see all of this, but Peter had shared the information with him too. He had arrived straight away, right in their front garden. The Potters were too wrapped in a game with their son to notice that something was so terribly wrong. Severus wanted to let the moment of joy to last a little longer, not for him, Potter, but for her - the only love of his life. He couldn't bear to see the fear in her eyes, the same eyes as the boy that his master had decided to condemn to death. Severus couldn't stand the thought of her knowing she had been betrayed so soon. Time, however, was of the essence, he knew he couldn't give her long.

There was a harsh knock on the door, making James jump. Lily immediately grabbed Harry, wrapping her arms around him - shielding him from any potential harm. Sirius had left only hours ago - no one else was due to arrive. The knock came again, urgent and impatient. Just a few seconds passed went by before they heard the incantation;

" _Alohomora,_ " it was a deep whispering voice.

James grasped his wand firmly and stood in front of Lily and his child, his wand aimed at the door. In walked Severus.

"How?" James' face was shocked and full of fear.

It was apparent he was dumbfounded regarding how and who had betrayed him. His expression quickly changed to enraged making it clear that he thought Severus had managed to trick them all; to fool even Dumbledore. The play of emotions would have been almost amusing to Severus, but there was only one thing on his mind.

"You chose Pettigrew?" Severus couldn't contain his anger.

He looked at the man that had Severus' entire world in his hands. James Potter held everything that Severus had ever dreamed of, and he was wasting it. The disgust in Severus' voice was evident.

"I'm confused Potter, it would have been easier for you to send an invite to the Dark Lord directly." His face was twisted with rage. "I risked my life to bring you this information - to save HER!" His anger erupted.

His carefully concealed emotions threatening to reveal themselves as a single tear threatened to escape. Severus took a moment to compose himself before speaking again.

"And you risk them so easily." He spoke now in his usual even tone, emotion safely suppressed. "You don't deserve what you have Potter!" he spat the words in his face; disgusted that he would put such little value on his beloved Lily.

Lily's face was frozen in fear, shocked - she was unable to move. James did little more, his wand still aimed at Severus. The look of realisation would have been priceless to Severus, had it not been so tragic. James now knew that he had made an enormous error. He had risked his family, all to be smart - smarter than Voldemort. What was worse now was how James had underestimated two of his closest friends. Remus, he had done nothing to deserve this censure, and yet James had failed to see the flawless character of a righteous friend. James found himself leaning into prejudice, it was normal at a time like this, but towards a friend? He had misjudged and underestimated Pettigrew also, this time because he assumed he didn't have the daring to do such a thing. James had sealed his families fate with his own arrogance. He knew he could only blame himself.

"What do I do Severus?" James asked.

He had made a choice to trust the man before him, a man he that he could never have called 'friend'. However, he knew Snape was the one person he could trust to protect Lily. He saw how he had always looked at her - how he still looked at her. Severus would defend her even knowing she would never be his; he would risk everything for her. This was the only thing they had in common.

"He's on his way, he will be here any moment." Severus urged his enemy into action. "You protect Harry - I will protect Lily."

These were probably their final moments and what was strange was that James and Severus were finally on the same side.

"I'll die before she does ...I promise." Severus declared.

James believed him. Severus turned, taking the boy from Lily he handed him to James. He took out his wand, guarding Lily with his own body. Then they heard it, the faint pop of someone Apparating in the distance. James immediately ran upstairs, holding the child to his chest, he made for the quickest exit he could. Severus turned to Lily, and did the last she expected;

" _Stupefy,_ " He called.

Severus didn't put much effort into the spell, just enough to knock her out and keep her quiet. He lifted her, his arms cradling her tenderly as he carried her through to the back of the house. Severus hid her in her own pantry, tied her up so she wouldn't be able to escape. He was as gentle as possible, carefully tying knots that would stop her from being so brash. The lock clicked, and Severus heard movement. He listened carefully and listened to the familiar rustle of those black silken robes as they moved up the stairs.

" _Muffliato,_ " he murmured.

His heart sank as he knew James had not had the time to escape yet. He followed the Dark Lord, not believing he was risking his life for someone other than Lily. There was only a straightforward logic that caused this; Lily. Her heart needed his protection too, and that man and that child were her heart and her soul - so he would be willing to die for them too.

" _Avada Kedavra!_ "

It was a cold harsh and yet deadly calm voice. Severus knew it was too late, at least for one of them, he ran hoping to at least to save the child. He walked into the doorway of the small nursery. The walls were a pale cream with pictures dancing on the walls, the baby, Harry, sat in the cream cot staring at the dark man before him, no idea of the danger before him. Severus was frozen with fear as he entered, watching as the man -Voldemort- raised his wand at the child. Severus made his move to protect the child, but the words were already spoken.

" _Avada Kedavra,_ " the voice sounded again, calm, deadly and unfeeling.

What happened next Severus wouldn't understand, there was a flash of blinding green light, and the room was filled with the sound of a babies cry. The sheer force of the spell blew Severus out of the room; the green light turned pure blinding white, and babies cries were drowned out by a horrific scream from the Dark Lord. The spell had rebounded - that much was clear. Severus moved into the shadows in time to see a dark soul fleeing the scene, leaving behind a corpse and a child. Harry was crying in his crib with an angry red lightning bolt scar on his forehead. Severus breathed a sigh of relief; one piece of Lily's heart had survived. It was all Severus had managed - but he knew it was nothing to do with him. The theory stated that the father's sacrifice had saved the boy, at that moment he respected James, seeing that act made him almost want to forgive him, almost.

The baby continued to cry, and Severus didn't know what to do. He picked up the infant gingerly and thought about holding him close knowing the child needed comfort. Severus couldn't do it; he knew Lily would need support too, and so he took the baby down to her hiding place. When he was again by her side, he magically removed the restraints.

" _Rennervate,_ " he whispered.

The unconscious Lily's eyes fluttered opened to find Severus pushing the child into her arms. He looked into her eyes, and he could already see the pain. It was clear that she understood; only one of them hadn't survived, if James could be by her side, he would be - but he wasn't.

"I'm sorry. Lily, I wasn't quick enough!" Tears slipped down his cheeks, feeling responsible for her now broken heart.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you for reading - please Review :) Poll has been posted on my profile to decide which of my ongoing stories to focus on, or prioritise whilst in the league, vote if you want it to be Double Agent**


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: I do not own Harry Potter**

 **This has been completely edited quite thoroughly. But it has been posted before. I'm sorry for how long it has taken, I have bitten off a little more than I can chew it seems.**

* * *

The Aftermath

Sirius had left the Potters just a few hours ago, he was now ready to go and sit out the night with Peter. He wasn't entirely sure that the secret would stay safe, but he would do all that he could to protect what he thought was a brave and loyal friend. Sirius would do anything because he thought this man was risking his life to save James, Lily and Harry. He wasn't overly concerned about tonight; the chances of them figuring out it was Peter straight away were slim. Sirius expected someone to come for him first, after all, that was the information that Remus had. Because of all this, Sirius was casually strolling down the street to the dingy, little house where Peter lived. As he looked at the house and saw a peaceful, undisturbed home, he smiled, secure in the thought that this meant his friends were safe.

He walked up to the house and performed an unlocking charm, the house dark and quiet. It was likely that Peter was already asleep, passed out on the couch. 'A cushy job in the order, hiding out keeping a secret' Sirius thought. The entire house was peaceful, it was neat, and tidy, not a thing out of place, and there was no sign of Peter.

"Peter," Sirius whispered, as he walked through the simple, combined kitchen and living room area, and then through to where Peter would sleep. There was still no sign, and the worry started to set in, he called louder;

"Peter!"

There was nothing in the little dingy bedroom, and no one in the bathroom. The small flat held very few places to hide, and the plan was that Peter would not move. He was nervous, very nervous.

"Peter! Peter!" he began shouting.

Sirius was now running about the house thinking of anywhere that he might hide. Peter was an illegal Animagi, so it was possible that a little rat hid somewhere in the room trying to stay safe. Then a strange thought dawned, why would Peter hide? No one was here, not a thing was out of place, no one had come looking for him, and even now, he would recognise Sirius' voice, so why?

"Peter, it's me, Sirius, you James and myself became Animagi together in our 5th year."

He spoke with desperation, somehow he knew that Peter wouldn't answer. Although he had never suspected until this moment, he knew that Peter wasn't hiding, wary that it may not be Sirius in the house. Somehow he realised that Peter was the traitor, yet he continued to search in pure desperation, pulling apart the tidy home. Sirius screamed in frustration falling to his knees in anger. The only thought running through his mind; 'We should have listened to Lily' with that he disapperated, hoping to get there in time.

* * *

It had seemed like mere moments had passed, but an hour later Severus was still knelt on the pantry floor watching Lily hold her son to her chest, crying silent tears for her lost husband. Neither was thinking about an explanation of what had happened to the Dark Lord. Was he still here? Had he died? Why was Harry alive? Severus knew that at some point he needed to get a message to Dumbledore; he saw something survive, how much he didn't know. Would he ever be able to rise to power again? These where questions he just couldn't answer, questions that right now he just wouldn't think on, he could only think of her pain. Lily hadn't looked at him yet, only at her son. Then slowly she raised her head, and looked into his eyes; they were as black as coal. Many called Severus an unemotional man, but Lily saw deep wells of emotion, not knowing that Severus was seeing her pain and anguish, or that it was pouring right back out. To Lily, it looked like hope.

In the distance, barely noticeable as they were both lost in their agonising hour-long moment, there was a faint pop. They didn't even hear the man stumbling into the house, the wreckage from the curse had blown the entire roof of the cottage away. The man stumbling around cried out in agony; there was no stealth anymore, the intruder didn't care that he could be cornered at any moment. Sirius Black was just in pain. He ran upstairs, the first thing he saw was his brother in arms, James, sprawled on the floor in front of Harry's crib, his eyes open, but lifeless. He cried aloud pulling his friend towards him, holding him close, he sobbed into James' robes.

"I'm sorry James, I'm so sorry. I failed you, James, I'm sorry!" he sobbed over and over, in his mind the worst had happened.

Downstairs, Snape helped Lily up.

"Lil, we need to get to Sirius, come on Lil," he ushered her upstairs, hating the man up there, but knowing it was cruel to leave the man to this unimaginable grief alone.

This was the first time that the war had indeed stung Severus. He was used to being on the other side, the side putting the Mark in the sky - not crying over the bodies left behind; somehow he felt happier on this side, cleaner.

"Yea," her voice broke through the tears.

She managed to bare her weight but leaned heavily on Severus, who gently carried her to where she would see the man she loved. She managed the stairs, but as they approached the babies room, her legs gave way. Severus caught her, and her sobs broke out once again, louder, getting the attention of the other sobbing man. Sirius reached for her, a little slice of joy, happier that he hadn't lost everything - just the man who became his brother. Sirius held her close, and they sobbed over James' body together. Severus stood on the sidelines, alone, watching the heartbreak continue. It took some time before Sirius even acknowledged his presence. Anger flashed across his face, and then confusion.

"I- I- I'm so sorry, I wasn't quick enough," Severus stuttered. "There was no time."

Sirius' eyes softened, Snape, a man he had hated, looked just as broken as either of them, though suspicions never died.

"Di-did you plan this?" he spat out, his face contorted with rage.

It was almost a ridiculous thought, but they all knew how much Snape loved Lily. It was easier to believe that he had schemed and plotted than to face the fact that he and James made an error in trusting the wrong friend. Somehow, there was no anger on Snape's face, there was an acknowledgement that he had thought of this plan; of giving the Dark Lord James and the boy, in return for Lily, but he hadn't. Severus cared too much for her joy, he knew this path wasn't going to get him his heart's desire. Severus knew long ago that he had destroyed the way to her heart, he knew that afternoon in fifth year, after their Defence O.W.L's. That terrible choice he made, when he spoke those unforgivable words. Now he just wanted to make her happy.

"Peter, he told the Dark Lord, I got here as soon as I could," he stopped abruptly, unanswered questions now came to the forefront. What had happened here?

"Then why did he leave Lily and Harry alive?" Sirius asked, anger and suspicion rising up. After all, Voldemort never showed mercy.

"He didn't - something happened," Severus struggled to find the answers. "I arrived a few moments before him… I told James to protect the child and that I would protect Lily. Then - he arrived, I stunned her and hid her." Severus didn't understand how he would explain what happened. He knew this would take knowledge of some magic unknown to him. "I followed … up here," he pointed to the place where he had stood, right in the doorway of the room. There was no roof now, just the empty night sky. "I was late… James was already dead. I got up here, I tried to make it in time to save Harry, but he had already cast the curse," his voice held more and more a note of confusion to it. He stumbled over the words inelegantly. This hadn't happened in the entire history of The Unforgivable's. "There was blinding green light... he screamed… the light turned pure white. That's when the blast pushed me out of the room, and then there was nothing left; just dark smoke in a gust of wind. Though I could swear it …" He trailed off, too confused to continue. He slid down the wall and pointed at Harry. "The boy… he lived!"

Sirius looked at him just as confused by the strange and disjointed tale - then he turned to Harry and saw the scar burning on his forehead. Suspicions ceased, and other emotions arose in Sirius. He was a man that would desire payback for wrongdoing, and he knew where he would get it. He would deal with the turmoil of not trusting Remus later, and of not seeing Pettigrew for what he was. He would have to deal with his regret for trying to use brains to save the family he loved, his surrogate family. Bravery he knew, and it would have worked. Now was the time for revenge.

"Lily," he gently kissed her on the forehead, lovingly, brotherly.

He then turned his attention to Harry and whispered.

"I'll always be here for you Harry," he gently stroked the child's face, "First I need to avenge my brother," his voice gentle, he knelt down and kissed the child on his red scar.

Sirius disapperated immediately leaving mother, baby and the tall, dark-haired man alone. Severus did all he knew to do, he summoned the only man that might be able to answer some of his questions; Albus Dumbledore.

It hadn't taken Dumbledore long to arrive, and Snape again had been obliged to explain the circumstances of James' death. He also told of the mystery of Harry surviving what he knew had been a killing curse and confusion of the Dark Lords disappearance. Lily was able more and more to be part of the conversation, explaining to Dumbledore who had been their secret keeper, and why they changed it. She told how Severus had turned up to try and protect them. Once Dumbledore was up to date he held Harry and looked carefully at the scar on his forehead, then he questioned Severus vigorously. Most particularly about the dark smoke that had been seen leaving the house, and about what had happened before and after Voldemort cast the killing curse. Severus had finally started to recover from the shock, and therefore, he reacted in his usual impatient, sarcastic manner. He had managed to get himself back on emotional lockdown.

"There is nothing else to say! James stood in front of the child, he refused to stand aside, the Dark Lord killed him." Snape had been questioned many times and was now becoming infuriated.

"And then he immediately turned on Harry?" Dumbledore questioned.

"Yes. And yes, I am sure that it was the killing curse. I heard the Dark Lord say the incantation; it had the distinctive green glow." he continued "Then the light changed, it became a blinding white light. The force of it pushed me back out of the room. I then heard the Dark Lord scream, and the boy cried. When everything cleared there was no Dark Lord, he had been obliterated; but I felt his presence. It sounds foolish, I know, but I believe that he left in the black smoke. There is nothing more to say!" They had gone over it many times now, and Snape had nothing new to share.

"I have only theories I'm afraid, but one thing is certain that Voldemort is now powerless! He will, however, return. Harry's life will be in grave danger, from him and his followers. He will need great protection," he looked at Lily as he spoke. Her face was stern now, listening intently, her focus in life had become only one thing; Harry and keeping him safe.

"Dumbledore, I will do anything to keep him safe, but I don't feel that I can trust anyone with my son's safety right now. You always said his greatest weapon was turning us against each other, he's gone, and yet this weapon isn't failing!" she held her sleeping son close to her chest, stroking the painful looking scar on his forehead.

"Trust yourself, Lily,"

It was Severus that spoke. She looked into his eyes, they were softer than she had seen them in years. Here was her problem, her heart told her this was a man that she could trust, a known Death Eater and yet a close friend. And then there was a member of the Order, whom she should have been able to believe in, and they had turned out to be an enemy. She had not felt safe around Peter for some time; it had not been logical, it had been in her heart. And now, although all logic would tell her not to trust the man before her, her heart told her to leap, that he had come through for her. In her heart, she knew he always would. She knew just how much he had risked coming here tonight, by all rights, all four of them should have died.

"Ok," she spoke gingerly.

Lily was going to trust her instincts and hers alone.

"I want us to make a plan for Harry's protection, and there are only a handful of people that I can allow to be involved. Albus, I need the best protection that you can give me!"

"Lily, who will you trust?" spoke Snape.

He was still cautious. Severus was shocked at the man that they had already trusted, he wanted her to believe herself, but he had to ensure that no more mistakes were made. It was not for the boy, of course, she couldn't take losing Harry, and Severus couldn't bear seeing her in any more pain.

"I will choose, myself, Dumbledore, Sirius, Remus, and you, Sev."

She looked into his eyes, yes, that was a good choice. Lily saw it in his eyes, the 'Sev' she knew as a child was back; the boy that had always been there until he wasn't. He had been someone she could genuinely lean on, a great friend.

* * *

Elsewhere in the wizarding world, the mood was far less sombre. The news of 'He Who Must Not Be Named's' defeat had spread like wildfire. The wizarding community had thrown caution to the wind to celebrate their liberty from what had been a growing, and cruel dictatorship. The following days had led to many a breach of the International Statute of Secrecy; even the Minister for Magic, Millicent Bagnold, had been called up on charges. She had acquitted herself quite brilliantly stating; 'I assert our inalienable right to party!' The Muggle news discussed the mass amount of owls flying in daylight hours, confusing many bird experts. It seemed that Muggles being able to see the wondrous magical world was not really a significant concern. One wizard bumping into an overly broad and grumpy Muggle responded to his apology joyfully;

"Don't be sorry, my dear sir, for nothing could upset me today! Rejoice, for You-Know-Who has gone at last! Even Muggles like yourself should be celebrating, this happy, happy day!"

A particular wizard, Dedalus Dingle's celebration ended up on the Muggle news, astronomers confused by the sheer amount of shooting stars in Kent that night. During that week not a single person was charged with breaking the Statute of Secrecy. Everything was smoothed over, and everyone lifted a glass to Harry Potter; The Boy Who Lived.

Parts of the community, those who knew the Potters, had party's also, but they were bittersweet; the grief felt for James Potter was great. The confusion over what had happened, and who had betrayed them was a point of contention. Many called for Sirius Black to be arrested - Remus felt a great heartache believing he was at fault for convincing them to appoint Black as Secret Keeper. He wasn't a vindictive man and did not react in the same way as Sirius had. Sirius had hunted Peter down; this didn't help Sirius' image, as upon finding him, Peter was ready to show just how good a part he could play.

Sirius finally tracked Peter down to the small Muggle town of Whitby. It was a relatively busy high street where he finally cornered Peter. Sirius' anger got the better of him, and he shouted manically at Peter;

"How could you!" Sirius' fury could be felt in every word.

To passers-by, Sirius looked like a madman, though to say that the grief had driven him mad was not altogether untrue.

"JAMES!" he would scream, "James protected you, HOW COULD YOU!" Sirius became more and more unravelled.

Peter really had no back up anymore, his new 'back up' had been destroyed just as he had revealed his true colours. Peter trembled before the ferocious man, his mind working overboard. He felt that there was no good way to survive this; he knew that Sirius would happily kill him for what he had done. He knew that Lily had escaped and so the truth of his betrayal could not be hidden. Peter also believed the sinister whispers that He Who Should Not Be Named had survived. But, he had been broken, and he would return. Peter needed a way to hide, a way to not be looked for - a way to die without being dead. It was with that thought that Peter desperately and hopefully put his plan into action.

Peter wept, he was the epitome of desperation. Though Sirius and Severus rarely saw eye to eye, the look that Sirius wore for Peter now was almost identical to the stare that Severus had given him.

"Sirius! How could you, James, he was your best friend. How could you betray us like that!" he burst into tears, cowering like a baby on the floor "Sirius, Sirius, what have you done? The Dark Lord, how could you turn to him. We could have helped get free of him, Sirius, why?"

"DON'T LIE!" bellowed Black. "YOU BETRAYED JAMES, LILY AND BABY HARRY!"

"I would never, do not try to convince them it was me!" gasped Peter. "What is there to be gained by lying now, Sirius? I will avenge my friend, I will avenge James."

"You, avenge James?" Sirius shouted, "I will avenge James with your death!" Sirius spat the words out, a terrible fury on his face.

"You don't understand!" whined Peter. "This was you, Sirius!"

"How can you insult them like this?" roared Sirius.

A tear escaped as he looked on one that he had once called a friend. He knew, honestly, had the roles been reversed, he would have died to protect his friends, Peter included. Sirius shook his head slightly, as though removing the dark thoughts from his mind, then with a calmer, albeit scarier look on his face, he raised his wand;

"You should have realised Peter," he spoke quietly now, "If Voldemort didn't kill you, I would. Goodbye, Peter."

At that moment they both acted out their plans; Peter raised his wand and bellowed out a killing curse, aiming it at a crowd of staring Muggles behind him. The vast explosion killed many of the Muggles and created a barrier of smoke and debris. At that moment, quicker than Sirius had been able to act he chopped off his finger. Peter then began his transformation into a rat - Sirius' curse missing him narrowly. Peter scurried away down a nearby drain. Insanity gripped Sirius at that moment. He was dumbstruck that he had been outsmarted for a second time by the friend that he had so grossly underestimated already. Sirius simply stared at the crater made from Peter's curse and laughed maniacally staring at all that was left. A finger.

It wasn't long before numerous Aurors turned up. They had the testimony of Remus that he had been the Secret Keeper, the witness' on Whitby High Street to the murder of twelve Muggles and Peter Pettigrew. Sirius was escorted straight to Azkaban, the wizarding prison. Everyone believed him evil and insane. He never spoke a word in his defence as he was accompanied to the prison. The conflicting emotions inside him rendering him his own worst enemy. Although he knew that hope remained deep down, as Lily had survived and Severus knew he hadn't betrayed the Potters, despair still gripped him. In his cell, his insanity increased as the Dementors stole all the happy memories he had.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you for reading and as always please review. I also have a poll to see which story people would like me to focus on. It's on my profile page, so if you want to have a say... have a say.**


	5. Chapter 5

**A/N: I do not own Harry Potter**

 **Re-written, extended and hopefully improved.**

 **I would just like to make a polite statement. I removed a review lately, not something I would usually do, as sometimes I check reviews to see if a story is something I would like to read; do people point out flaws that will make a story unenjoyable for me etc. However, I will remove a review that is negative based on the writer's opinion rather than anything being technically wrong, or even creative choice that makes little sense. Reviews that are angry because I dare pair Lily and Snape are not welcome. This site is fabulous, it has a filter system so you aren't forced to read something that irks you. Use it.**

* * *

Chapter 5 - Saving Sirius

There wasn't much of a trial for Sirius Black. He was considered a mass murderer, and a spy. The fact that so many members of his family were known Death Eaters only worked against him, and his long-time friend, Remus Lupin had not helped. Remus attended and gave evidence that Sirius had in fact been the Secret Keeper for the Potters. He stated that to his mind, as soon as the Potters were attacked this proved that Sirius had been a Death Eater all along. The thing that hurt Sirius the most was that he refused to even look at him, that he said Sirius was dead to him.

The evidence that he gave simply became all the more damning. Remus believed, and shared at length with the courts, that Sirius had worked from within The Order of the Phoenix passing on information to You - Know - Who. He said that they had no idea who it was, but that Sirius being the spy fit in so many ways now. Remus said that in doing this Sirius had caused the death of James Potter.

Then there was the evidence of the twelve Muggle murders. There were many people standing by, listening to a scripted conversation between him and Peter, and all they saw was a blast, they didn't see where it had come from. Then there was the evidence of Peter Pettigrew; he was hailed a hero for going after Black, particularly as he was seen as the definition of an underdog in this scenario. Peter, as far as they were concerned, was dead, destroyed, only a finger remaining. Cornelius Fudge who arrived on the scene had eaten it up. But what really sealed it was the fact that Sirius seemed to have completely lost his mind, his maniacal laughter appearing to those watching, as a clear confession.

Sirius was about to be sent back to Azkaban, and it seemed that they were in a rush, he was taken from holding and being arraigned mere hours after being captured. The Ministry of Magic was not pulling any punches.

Lily was completely unaware, trying to find somewhere for her and her son to live. Severus was no doubt with her, and Albus didn't even know. Sirius Black might even receive the kiss before they know what's happening. All Sirius could think was that he needed to be there for Lily, and of course, how foolish he had been.

Sirius now sat in a hard-backed wooden chair, the chains holding him in place were so tight that they almost cut into his flesh. He looked up at the last of his dear friends; Remus. The man still refused to look at him, and as much as this devastated Sirius, as angry as he was, he couldn't blame him. After all, Remus had far more evidence for his suspicions than Sirius ever had about Remus. Sirius looked out at the Wizengamot, all eyes were on him; seeing him the same way that they saw many of his relatives. There was not a single friendly face in the entire courtroom.

Barty Crouch was sat with other higher-ups from the Department for Magical Law Enforcement. The tall thin man stared at him with cold dark eyes, both uncaring and unfeeling. Sirius and Barty were all too similar, but now that worked against Sirius, because Barty hated and was just as prejudiced against supposed 'dark wizards' as Sirius. Sirius was often blinded by this hatred, refused to listen, and he knew that Barty would be much the same, particularly now. The Ministry needed to appear strong, and Barty Crouch was rumoured to be running for Minister for Magic. Mercy would not get him that position, but an iron fist would. It was well known that he had been asking for the most severe punishments - Sirius had been all for it, until he was the one in the hot seat.

As he sat there he thought now about Severus, and if he deserved Azkaban or 'The Kiss' as much as he had always professed. He hated the guy, but he had risked life and limb for their cause, to save his friends, even a man that Sirius knew he still truly hated. Probably more so if the lingering looks towards Lily were anything to go by. It truly looked like he had no hope, he wouldn't be surprised if he received the Dementors Kiss. Severus wouldn't do anything, not for him, and Crouch Sr might just act before Lily or Dumbledore get the chance.

"Does the defendant have anything to say in his defence?" Barty Sr barked.

Even as Sirius got his chance to speak, he knew that it would likely fall on deaf ears. Barty Crouch would see a Dark Wizard making up a good story to keep himself out of Azkaban.

"Honourable Ladies and Gentleman of the Wizengamot…" he started, his voice shaking as his nerves took all the control. Sirius could only think about how hard it was to appear as innocent as he actually was.

"I plead 'Not Guilty' on all charges, I know that my words can be verified by three other individuals. I was not the Secret Keeper, my blood brother, James Potter and I did not trust those that heard us state who the Secret Keeper would be, and so we changed it at the last minute. I would be most willing to die for my friends, I would rather die than cause them any pain." He looked over at Remus, who turned away. Remus looked heartbroken, and yet he was clearly unmoved by the tale.

"I am not surprised by Remus' account, that he believes me guilty, that is on me. He has never done anything to deserve what I have done, I lost faith in him," he paused, just hoping to catch Remus' attention. "Remus, I'm sorry. We believed Remus to be the Spy in the Order, and I found out through the most tragic circumstances that this wasn't the case. We planned to use me as the Secret Keeper. However, we were concerned that Remus knowing this would lead to me being targeted sooner, James wanted to protect me also," at this point Sirius' voice cracked with the tears he was trying to hold back. "We changed it to Peter Pettigrew, we thought we were being smart." He then looked at Remus. "I'm sorry Remus!" his eyes pleading for the forgiveness that he so desperately wanted.

Remus finally looked at Sirius, tears in his eyes that was a drastic contrast to the fiercest look of anger that had ever graced the man's features. "You Lie! How dare you put this on Peter. How convenient for you to place the blame on the man that you killed in cold blood!" Remus screamed across the courtroom, tears pouring unashamedly down his scared face.

"SILENCE!" bellowed Crouch, "I will have silence in the court!"

"I confess; I went to kill Peter, and I wanted to kill Peter. I WOULD STILL KILL PETER!" Sirius cried out. "I didn't manage it, he killed the Muggles, and then he chopped off a single finger transforming into a rat. Peter escaped down a drain just before the Ministry came to get me. I swear it, Remus…please, believe me, ask Lily!" Tears finally escaped, it was so hard to keep his composure, he could still feel the presence of the Dementors, those that had brought him back from Azkaban, those that would perform 'The Kiss' if that were the verdict.

"This is your only Defence?" asked Crouch in a tone that did not leave Sirius feeling even a shred of hope.

"Yes," Sirius spoke gently. "It can be verified, please just delay judgement until you verify please. You can get all the information from Lily Potter and Severus Snape, please I beg you!"

It seemed that they didn't need to hear anymore as two Dementors walked through at Crouch's gesture. Their cold, dark, skeletal hands pulled Sirius from the chair and out of a back door, ready to be transported to Azkaban. Remus watched as Sirius, a man he had called brother, was taken away. He was confused by what he knew to be true. Could it be a lie? Could it have been Peter? After all he had suspected him, and Remus had felt an awful guilt when Peter had been killed, like he had questioned an innocent man, had he? There were three people that he would be able to find out from, if Sirius' story was true. He would have to save him, if it was true. He knew that Crouch was doing the bare minimum for those that he believed to be Death Eaters, not that many had an issue with this. So many had committed the most atrocious crimes, and there was not a family in the wizarding world that it had not touched. Remus left the courtroom, there was only one place on his mind.

***

Remus paced, the trial still fresh in his mind. He of course, knew where Lily and Baby Harry would be, but he didn't have the required information from the Secret Keeper. He stood in the graveyard in Godric's Hollow staring at the spot where the house should be. Remus only saw the cottages from either side, the Cottage he needed seemingly non-existent.

Remus could not see the tall, slender man looking out through the window. He had sallow skin, a hooked nose and his shiny, dark hair framed his face as his dark eyes considered Remus; he looked anxious, he usually appeared somewhat dishevelled, but today it was so much more. Remus tended to always look worn out and tired due to his condition, but there was more weighing on him. Severus did not like Remus at all, they had a long and painful history, but even he had to admit that Remus had been a different kettle of fish to Black and Potter. Remus was an observer, never took part, but never put a stop to anything. He also hadn't been part of the ridiculous decision that had put the Potters in danger. Severus thought 'Potters', but in his heart the only one he had any concern for was Lily. Knowing that she needed all the support that she could get, and that Remus was a massive part of her life, he decided to go and get the wolf.

Remus watched as a slight shimmer appeared between the two cottages, and then the tall man emerged from somewhere. As he walked out he started to see the cottage that he had been waiting for, the destruction to the front and roof of the house was terrifying, and Severus saw the devastation on Remus' face.

"No!" he whispered.

"Lupin," Severus began.

Severus' voice wasn't filled with the anger and venom that would seep through when talking to Potter or one of his friends, but it wasn't kind either. He simply gestured to the man and then turned around immediately, clearly expecting the man to follow. Severus strode into the now clearly visible cottage.

Severus had a fierce and cold demeanour, it was no wonder that very few had warmed to him at school. Remus had always wondered how he and Lily had been so close, it had been a mystery to many, but Lily's kind and loving disposition was always the answer. It always managed to cover Severus, until it didn't. Remus was incredibly uncertain about trusting him, and it showed in his weary body language. Everyone was aware that Severus was a Death Eater. He remembered Sirius' pleas to have his story checked out, and that Severus could clear his name? Had it not been for mentioning Lily's name, Remus wouldn't have given the story the time of day at all.

"Snape…" Remus' voice was unusually cold.

Remus was a well mannered and warm man, and his current disposition was very inconsistent with his usual demeanor. Many saw Remus only through the lens of his condition, the prejudice had people expecting the worst from him, and as such he overcompensated. So, for him to be so cold, showed exactly what he felt for the dark, greasy man before him. He held out his wand, defensive, ready to attack if need be. He was not the only one that was so wary after the war, there were plenty of desperate Death Eaters left, the question was, did this include Severus and Sirius?

"Where is Lily?" he asked, his tone warning.

Severus' reaction was a mere flicker on his features, gesturing to Remus to follow him. When they arrived in the living room Severus called out;

"Lily."

This was about as soft as Remus, or anyone else for that matter, had heard Severus' voice. As she walked in, the usual harsh features of his face softened, and Remus realised that Lily likely new a very different Snape than the rest of them. As soon as Lily saw Remus tears began to tumble out all over again, and she flung herself at him. Remus enveloped her in a protective hug, guiding her to the nearby chair where they sat. He pulled Lily close and began stroking her back, soothing her as much as he could.

"What am I to do? Remus, he's gone, oh he's gone," Lily said as her heart continued to break.

All Remus could do was comfort her and whispered soothing sounds in her ear. All his attention was focused on this uncommonly kind and strong woman, the woman that has been like a sister to him, a woman that loved him when he was unable to love himself. Severus looked on, hearing those intimate words, and while he was happy she was safe, he still held bitterness in his heart. His heart broke as he knew that he couldn't hold her the way Remus did, and he had lost any chance of beating James Potter. James Potter was out of the way, and yet entirely in the way at the same time. How could Severus ever compare with a man that died protecting their child. He was doomed to love her from afar.

"Lily, shhh, it's okay. You're not alone. You will never be alone. You will have so much help, and James would have it no other way," Remus continued to whisper to her gently, lovingly. The entire time he watched Severus. As far as Remus was concerned he was still so untrustworthy.

"James, he would have chosen this. He would only want to keep you and Harry safe. He loved you so much, and there is so much you can remember. You can remember all of those good times, you need to, for Harry. We need to protect him, and we need to honour James' sacrifice."

At that moment another walked into the room. It was none other than Dumbledore.

"Professor Dumbledore," Remus greeted.

He gently moved away from his place beside Lily. He stood before the man that had just arrived.

"I have been giving evidence against Sirius today." Remus watched the elder wizard's face, analysing for any evidence that Sirius was a friend. "He has been sent to Azkaban for the murder of twelve Muggles and Peter Pettigrew," Remus continued, a pleading look on his face.

"And good riddance if you ask me," Severus snarked. When Lily looked up at him frowning, he clarified. "Peter Pettigrew."

"About that," Remus continued. "Sirius had the strangest defence; he states that Peter is not only alive, but that he killed the Muggles."

"Pettigrew is alive?" Severus gasped. "Seriously, he can't do anything right!"

Lily looked up at him with a frown, and a slight smile.

"Well, you can't tell me he doesn't know the curse?" Severus smirked a little.

"Severus, we are on the same side, be nice."

Severus smiled at her, nodding slightly and his hand gently laid on her shoulder giving it an affectionate squeeze.

"There are an overwhelming amount of witnesses that state he killed Peter and the Muggles, but Sirius claimed that Peter was the Secret Keeper?" he asked.

Dumbledore, however, was very relaxed about giving an answer. It was Severus that finally released Remus of his fears.

"I can vouch for part of Sirius' story," he explained, there was no softness left playing on his features, it was the Severus that he had always known, cold and harsh. "I gave intelligence to Dumbledore over a year ago about The Dark Lords intention to go after the Potters," Severus spat out the last word. "And at that moment I chose no longer to serve him, but to work as a spy for Dumbledore. It was then that plans were put in place to protect Lily and her family. I am also aware that Peter is the one that betrayed them because I was there when he gave the secret to the Dark Lord. I also know that he was adamant that he would kill Peter Pettigrew, though I know nothing about twelve Muggles." Severus stood to the side of the room, almost awkward, if a man that imposing could look awkward, he clearly felt that he didn't belong in this company.

"Severus, I hope you can forgive me, but I would rather hear this from a more - trustworthy source."

Remus was delicate, gentle even. If Severus had truly risked himself for his friends like this, he would gladly welcome him as a friend.

"I only know you as a Death Eater, Severus. If you did as you say, I swear you have my unwavering friendship," Remus spoke with sincerity. He looked particularly at Dumbledore for an answer. Lily was left alone on the chair, calmer and yet her swollen reddened eyes spoke of a heartbreak that would not be easily healed.

"Of course," Severus responded, albeit rather curtly.

He moved, standing behind the chair where Lily sat, and his hand tentatively reached to place itself on her shoulder, and as Severus' uncertainty got the better of him, he removed it. The gesture could go unnoticed, however, Remus saw.

***

Dumbledore had wasted little time, he made his way straight to the Department of Magical Law Enforcement, and with him he carried a letter from Lily Potter along with a vial of her memories for Bartemius Crouch's inspection. There was no big trial now, just an office and a pensieve. Crouch found it hard to deny Sirius' innocence as he watched the conversation between James, Sirius and Lily, how they convinced her that Peter was the better option. He saw how Lily had performed the spell, sealing Peter's fate, as he became the Secret Keeper.

"Albus, this is all good and well, but it seems that Sirius Black still killed twelve innocent Muggles all in an effort to enact vengeance, regardless of his side in the war, he has still committed mass murder," Barty said with little remorse.

The man only cared for rules. Albus, however, could be more flexible as long as they followed what was right.

"He has also claimed that Peter killed those Muggles, and that Peter himself is not dead. Surely this new evidence would grant Sirius a chance to prove his innocence here also?" Albus beseeched the severe man.

"And how do you propose to do that Albus?" he asked.

"I have a rather skilled potioneer on my staff, who would easily be able to brew some Veritaserum," Albus suggested.

"And this Potions Master is none other than Severus Snape, a man that is on my list of Death Eaters," Crouch countered.

It could seem somewhat like a game of chess, evident that even those on the same side opposed one another.

"Ah yes, but he has been spying for me for over a year, and as such I am confident that he will be cleared of all charges during his trial which is scheduled for next week," Albus finished. "However, I understand if you would prefer to analyse Sirius' memories or even use Ministry Veritaserum?"

This verbal chess continued for sometime, until Albus had his checkmate of course. Barty Crouch then had Sirius moved back to the Ministry, and his memories were checked. Barty Crouch being Barty Crouch, didn't exactly trust this which is why Sirius was questioned under Veritaserum also. This resulted in a manhunt for Peter Pettigrew, though Sirius believed it would be hopeless, vowing to bring Peter in himself.

Lily had stayed back at the house, and she was so lost in her grief she was unable to help all that much. She took solace in devoting all her attention to caring for Harry and silently grieving. Severus felt a vast separation from her, though he never left her side. He ensured he was useful to her in the small things that he could do. For Severus he was just happy to be able to help and to be in her presence. If and when Lily called on him, he was already there. Severus thought it was something unnoticed, that his care and attention were inconsequential, but it was noticed by all. Remus marvelled at how different Severus was with Lily, to her though, it was hope, comfort and above all things a security blanket that wrapped tightly around her, making her feel safe.

Over the next few weeks the house was busy, the same five people always coming and going, as soon as Sirius was home for good. It had taken longer than they would like, but soon he was settled in a new house that Lily had found for them. The cottage at Godric's Hollow was unlivable, but more than that, it haunted Lily with memories and knowing she would always see James' body lying there in Harry's room. Severus was cleared with the help of Albus even quicker than Sirius had been. The focus was ensuring that the new house had as much protection as they could manage. One evening saw the small ragtag family settled and discussing the Erumpent in the room; the prophecy.

"Severus, do you know if any of the other Death Eaters knew of the prophecy?" Sirius asked.

"As far as I am aware, there was only me who knew. The prophecy would present him as weak, which he would not want his followers to see. However, there were a few that were incredibly loyal and they knew everything. I got my hands on information, but Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange were the most trusted followers he had," Severus explained.

"You realise that's as clear as mud, right?" Sirius sneered.

"I am suggesting you err on the side of caution. The likes of Bellatrix Lestrange will likely want to hunt Harry down and kill him simply to punish him. Wither they know or not, Harry isn't safe."

"What protection do you suggest?" Lily asked.

"Does anyone have a property that is unplottable?" Severus asked.

"That's not really done much these days," Remus explained. "And besides, I'm lucky I own my own clothes."

"I was thinking Black, old families tend to have old properties, old properties tend to be unplottable," Severus spoke calmly, his eyes fixed on Sirius.

"No, I got kicked out of the family," Sirius explained. "What about you, I heard you were a Prince!" Sirius grinned at the man.

"Yes, but my mother ran off with a drunk, unemployed Muggle, and the choices I have made don't exactly bolster the family reputation, so no help there I am afraid."

"Sev, you always wanted to get to know them. Why don't you go and try and speak with them? Tell them what you've done these past few years," Lily smiled, her hand reached for his.

"Albus said that the Dark Lord will return, I am more valuable with my cover intact," he said with a cold tone.

"You're going to deny yourself happiness for a war that may never start up again!" Lily cried.

"It will start up again. I do not think you should be concerned with my happiness Lily."

"What are we going to do about Peter?" Remus asked. He was not one to speak up as much as the others, but when he did it was because it he needed to be said.

"Find him and kill him," both Severus and Sirius said in unison.

They both looked at each other, just for a moment and then turned away. They both refused to see any of their similarities, or refused to acknowledge their common ground. It was a case of hatred for hatreds sake. Remus was less proud, and had no problem taking anything that Severus had to offer, and repaying only with kindness, and fairness.

"No one is murdering anyone," Lily spoke sternly.

"He is the reason that James is dead," Remus replied firmly. "I would gladly kill him, and spend the time in Azkaban with a smile on my face!"

"But James would not want that!" Lily replied just as firmly. "None of you will be so selfish, you will search for him, and find him only. You will deliver him to the Ministry, is that understood?" she asked, glaring at the three of them in turn.

"Of course," Remus and Sirius responded quickly, almost as if they had been scolded by their mother.

"Severus? That means you too," she scolded him.

He looked up at her with a confused expression. "I would have thought me spending time in Azkaban would only be fair?"

"No. It's not fair, you risked your life to fix your mistakes. You will do nothing that would result in you going to Azkaban, do you understand me Severus Snape?"

"What if I need to get into Azkaban to spy, or gain information?" he angled.

"Severus, do you really think I'm joking, you will not be going to that barbaric place! Do you understand me? We are all family now."

"Yes Mother," he sneered in her direction. It was the most gentle sneer the world had seen. "Will you chastise them for underestimating the filthy little worm?"

"Would it make you feel better if I chastised Sirius? Remus actually suspected Peter," she asked.

"It would actually, and Remus was always the smartest of the four of them."

"Until I joined the troupe of course," she smiled.

"Of course, though I still can't believe you ended up with Potter," he smirked.

"Oi, Snivellus," Sirius began.

"I only mean, you should have heard the way she spoke about you lot!" he smiled. "The only one she liked was Remus, in fact I think he might have been her first crush," Severus did, on occasion, relax. With Lily by his side he would joke, and sometimes even smile.

"I knew it! I told James in third year she had a thing for Remus! He didn't believe me," Sirius laughed, wrangling his eyebrows at Lily.

"It's not true," Remus laughed.

"It isn't," Lily smiled. "And before you ask Sirius, I am not telling you who my first crush was."

"I have two galleons on Sirius," Remus butted in. "She seems really embarrassed by it!" he laughed.

"I will take that bet, but I'm sticking with it being you, Remus!"

"You're all idiots, I will also take the bet, and raise you a Galleon. Frank Longbottom," he smirked as he placed his galleons on the table. "Perks of being the best friend," he smiled.

"And how do you three idiots plan to find out which one of you is right?" she asked.

"He's a Potions Master," Sirius stated. "We can call a truce long enough to spike your morning pumpkin juice."

"She only drinks coffee in the morning," Severus replied. "And Veritaserum doesn't work when mixed with hot liquids."

"I'd love to see you lot try," she smiled.

It was not always like that, happy and carefree. There were arguments, cold shoulders, and a crying Harry. Lily would bottle up her grief until she was about to explode, and somewhere along the lines she would be locked in her bedroom, the tears seemingly endless. In all the plans that they had made, they had yet to plan future protection for Harry, knowing that he would always be hunted by those Death Eaters that had escaped conviction. Sirius, having been reinstated as an Auror, heard the chatter and rumours from Death Eater circles, the general idea being that the death of one Harry Potter would bring the Dark Lord back. Severus did what he could to gain information, but in reality he had to be careful for a while, the other Death Eaters would be especially cautious with the current climate. They all believed that this should be something that Harry knew very little about. Lily wanted him to have a truly normal childhood.

It was decided after much deliberation that Severus needed to protect himself from being too associated with prominent figures in the 'clean up' process. With his inability to gain information from darker circles, he was left feeling somewhat useless. The fact that Remus and Sirius were heavily involved in the action stung. As they knew more about Peter's Animagi ability, that was where they focused their efforts.

All three of them had swore that they would always be there to protect Harry. A strange turn in the conversation was when Severus had offered to make The Unbreakable Vow, they politely ensured Severus that this was not the way that they operated, that trust would be their foundation, not the fear of death if they deviated. The home would be as Muggle as they could manage, and the plan was that Lily would not spend too much time in the Magical world, at least not until the dust settled. Harry, however, was another story entirely, he would stay away from the magical world until he turned eleven and attended Hogwarts. It was better to be safe than sorry. The cement in their protection was making Dumbledore the Secret Keeper of the new home, a home that was in a small English town, away from the hustle and bustle of wizarding hot spots. Severus' sole focus was his position as Potions Master and Head of Slytherin at Hogwarts. He had finally completed the last mission of his Dark Lord, to get himself placed at Hogwarts; this was of course known to Dumbledore, and he was positioned perfectly for the time when Voldemort would return. Severus would be seen to be silently gathering intelligence for Voldemort on the wizard he hated the most, the only one that he feared, Albus.

Severus would spend all his time outside of his job in Hogwarts, including his weekends, protecting Lily and her son. This was mainly him spending time with them, cooking and rigorously checking the charms and wards on the home. Remus and Sirius focused on searching for Peter. This means that they were often away from the home, and when they were there they were planning and brainstorming ways to track down one specific rat. It was not easy work, but they soon found rhythm in all the madness. Some semblance of trust was built between Severus and the two other men, with Sirius this trust was tenuous to say the least. Friendship between them was another matter entirely, there was nothing there for Severus, he might trust them in one sense (the war and protecting Harry and Lily), but he could not trust them with friendship. Sirius did not help this, he held so much against Severus and was more than willing to remind him of past mistakes. Things were less cold with Remus, who was kind and gentlemanly. Severus' bitterness and inability to let old grudges die meant that life could be difficult under that roof.

Severus also had trouble with Harry. He was unable to talk about his feelings in this regard, and no one really understood why. Harry was just a child, but to Severus he seemed to be so much more. Lily was the glue that held the group together, and as time went on she grew stronger and slowly but surely she was able to help foster the trust between the others. One day she dearly hoped for friendship, but it seemed like a long shot

* * *

 **A/N: I am much happier now than in my first Authors note, I have had many lovely reviews as well, as well as constructive criticism. All this is more than welcome. Please review, even if it points out a whopping plot hole or tremendous spelling and grammar errors.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A/N: I do not own Harry Potter**

 **Welcome to the next installment, I have really got focused on re-working these chapters. I have so many lovely reviewers, thank you. I will get up to date as soon as I can. Chapter 23 has been a long time coming! Thank you to my Beta too, she catches the silly errors I make. Thinking-of-a-Dream: Thank you.**

* * *

The month after Voldemort was defeated brought in a new and strange routine for the peculiar family. Remus and Sirius were always hard at work and chasing new leads. Sirius was working as an Auror again, and as such he was more actively involved in rounding wanted Death Eaters. Outside of his work life he was entirely focused on Peter, Remus being the more intellectually apt would research the many varied ways of tracking him, often with help from Severus and Lily. As Peter was unregistered as an Animagi, it was a difficult task, and the only clue they had was that he had cut off one finger. There were multiple spells and even potions that they had tried.

The new house that Lily had secured for them was ideal, it was a perfectly Muggle home, in a perfectly Muggle area. It was Severus that coordinated with Albus on the charms and wards. They even placed it under the Fidelius Charm, Albus being the Secret Keeper this time. Lily, while focusing all her attention on grief and Harry, had somehow got the house all set up. She also put herself in charge of getting all members of the household Muggle-wear. The distraction was good for her, and she enjoyed dressing them up, something that Severus grinned and bared much to Sirius' very vocal amusement.

It was on a rather dull November evening when Remus and Sirius had come back from a rather busy day of 'Pettigrew Pursuing'. When they arrived, they found Lily, Severus and Harry settling in. Severus was clearly happier preparing food than spending time with the infant, and as they were to be staying under the radar, there was no magic at all. Severus was a surprisingly good chef and used to the Muggle way of doing things. Sirius was surprised to find out that Severus' father had been a Muggle and not a fan of magic at all. They learnt of Severus' skill within only a few days at the house;

 _Lily had been rushing around the kitchen trying to get dinner finished. Harry was asleep in his basket by the door, and when the Severus arrived, he woke with a high pitched cry._

 _"Sev, can you just pick him up for me?" Lily asked sweetly._

 _"I can't pick 'it' up, I don't do... that," Severus replied stiffly, backing away._

 _Lily moved away from the stove for a moment and lifted Harry from his basket._

 _"Severus, he is not an 'it', he's a baby. Please, just hold him, so he calms down while I finish tea."_

 _Lily then placed him in Severus' arms, who looked petrified. It was then that Sirius and Remus walked in. Severus immediately took the child over, an attempt to offload the burden._

 _"No, they won't help him get back to sleep, just rock him till he drifts off," Lily pleaded._

 _"I don't do babies!" Severus claimed dramatically._

 _"How have you managed that?" Lily asked._

 _"I do make sure I am not left responsible for them, Lily please take the baby."_

 _"You know his name is Harry, right?" she asked, eying him as she chopped carrots._

 _"Okay, take Harry!"_

 _He thrust his arms out toward her, a pleading look on his face._

 _"Severus, there isn't anything to be worried about, he's settling already, just cuddle him," Lily smiled._

 _"What if I damage him, what if I drop him and he dies?" Severus stated dramatically._

 _"Sure, the kid can survive a killing curse, but a cuddle from Severus makes the poor baby keel over!" Sirius mocked._

 _"I don't cuddle! I am just gripping him so he won't fall and die while simultaneously trying not to suffocate him."_

 _"Severus," Remus smirked. "That's called cuddling, try rocking him a bit, might help him drift off."_

 _"Lily, please! I will do all the cooking forever, just don't make me hold the baby! I don't want to kill it."_

 _"Severus, can you even cook?" Sirius asked._

 _"Says the man that cooked the abomination we ate last night, and if that's the standard I know I can surpass it," Severus retorted. Harry was curled up in his arms, whimpering still, but settled._

 _"Sev, he's so settled there, you don't have to do anything, just stand there," Lily smiled._

 _"I can cook quite well, just tell me what your cooking and I will finish it," Severus begged. "Please."_

 _Lily had taken the child, and Severus had cooked his first meal for the family. It turned out that he would be the primary cook in their little family. He had surprised them to the point where even Sirius complemented his cooking._

Lily had set the table and was in the living room settling Harry in a Moses basket. Lily was still unable to leave Harry anywhere, he always had to be in her presence.

"Sirius, Remus!" Lily beamed. She embraced them both. "How was your day? Severus is cooking, it smells gorgeous!"

"Evening Lily," Sirius sniffed up. "So what's Snivellus cooking tonight? I have to admit he's better than our House Elf," Sirius laughed.

"Severus," Remus gave his friend an eye of disapproval. "It really smells great."

Severus pulled his face into a kind of smile. Severus was more cordial now, though it was clear that the three men managed to trust each other. Remus and Severus could possibly be classified as 'not hating each other', nothing more and nothing less.

"Thank you," came his blunt reply, his eyes lingering on Lily as she spoke to Sirius.

Lily was happy, almost carefree. He noticed Lily tell Sirius that he should be making an effort, but Snape had to agree, things were as good as he could hope for with Sirius. For the history that they had, and the time that had passed so far, Severus thought this was as good as could be. Earlier in the day he and Lily had spoken about the issue, Lily wanted more than anything for them all to become more friendly. Severus had really thought about it and had a gesture that he thought might help to build a bridge between them. Severus was not doing this for either man, it was all for Lily, and he was sure that they would know that.

Severus finished his lamb stew and placed perfectly sliced potatoes on top to be baked. He knew it was an old favourite of Lily's from her childhood. He hoped it would remind her of a safer time and maybe subconsciously help her feel safe too. He walked into the living room, and Sirius was cooing and playing with a newly woken Harry. This irritated him. Severus had listened while Lily had painstakingly pacified the baby, got him settled and just about to sleep. Then _they_ came in, and no doubt tonight he would hear her getting up more than usual, the child that hadn't stuck to it's routine getting up at all hours.

"Remus," Severus spoke. He motioned to Remus to sit on the larger sofa where he had a collection of books, many with his own scribblings in the margins. "As I am aware, you have a certain condition…" Severus felt awkward, but he pushed through, again for Lily. "I believe that the Wolfsbane Potion would be a great help to you?" he glanced around the room, his face was resolute.

Lily glanced over at him and caught his eye, she gently nodded in encouragement, silently showing him that she thought he was doing well. It seemed silly that this would matter, and yet it was because it only ever mattered coming from her.

"I have been looking over the potion itself for about a week, and I think I would be able, if you wish, to brew the potion, if that would make the full moons more - bearable."

Remus couldn't believe what he was hearing. He had looked up the potion a few years ago, and it had been an enormous source of hope for him. Remus had thought that he would be able to pass the full moon in peace, keeping his mind and sleeping out the night in his wolf form. However, when he read up on the potion, it was incredibly complex, and he wasn't great at potions, to begin with. Then the price of ingredients made the endeavour even more hopeless; so many expensive components that a Werewolf had no chance of affording. It was, after all, hard to hold a job as a Werewolf.

"But Severus," Remus said in a disbelieving tone. "The ingredients alone - I can't afford them, and I certainly can't expect you to foot the bill on this one. It's too much, it's such a generous offer! Thank you for even thinking of it," Remus stuttered his response, overwhelmed.

"The expense is not a concern Remus, I assure you," he responded. "It would be a pleasure if you would allow me to do this," he paused for a second, not wanting to lay it on too thick. "I am very interested in the potion itself and once familiar I would like to research the possibility of - improving it."

Once finished Severus looked over at her, and she smiled at him. That was why it was worth it, given his second chance with Lily, even with it being only a friendship, he would do anything to help it thrive. Severus had learnt what it meant to lose her, and he was going to take this chance seriously.

"Remus accepts!" Sirius responded, cutting Remus off. "Severus-" he stumbled over his words now, attempting to give something back to the man that was at least trying. "My apologies for earlier."

Looking at Remus, Sirius smiled, signalling that that was the end of the discussion.

"So," said Lily wanting to move on. "What has been going on in the Wizarding world today?"

Lily settled into her cosy chair ready to listen. Sirius pulled up a dining room chair, even Severus relaxed into the couch a little more.

"Well many Death Eaters are being brought in at the moment, and they are saying that they were under the _Imperious Curse_. Lucius Malfoy is looking like he is going to get off, but I don't believe that he was under the _Imperious Curse_ at all," Sirius fumed, much less relaxed than the others.

"Moody almost caught Evan Rosier. Rosier was killed in the struggle, but Moody lost an eye and ended up in St Mungo's," added Remus.

"I'm not surprised Rosier died. The man would never want to be taken alive, he would rather 'die a glorious death'," Severus sneered.

Everyone glanced over, shocked, he had never really discussed his connection to other Death Eaters before. Sirius, in particular, took note.

"What do you know about Malfoy?" Sirius questioned.

"Exceptionally willing! Second in Command, in fact. You know I can't testify to that, but even if I did, he wouldn't be convicted," Severus responded. "It doesn't matter what you find, Malfoy has money, and in the Ministry that can work far more effectively than any _Imperious Curse_. He has all the right people in his pocket."

Sirius looked dumbfounded. Severus noticed.

"They weren't friends, Sirius."

Severus' mind went back to many gatherings that he had attended in the time between turning spy. When the plans for the Potters were discussed, and the comments that he had been subjected to listening to, particularly from Malfoy. Those comments went way past racial slurs like Mudblood.

"If they weren't your friends Severus, who was?" asked Remus in his calm and gentle tone.

Severus seemed to be softening, and then his features stiffened as soon as Remus finished his sentence.

"I shall need to check on dinner," he said, excusing himself. He left the room swiftly.

Lily watched after him concerned. It was clear that he was intentionally keeping himself at arm's length. No one really saw that this was his way of living, his way of staying safe, and in fact, it was all he knew.

"Lil- I'm sorry," Remus whispered. Lily's smile absolved him, knowing that Remus was trying to worm his way in, just as she was. Lily was convinced that she would be able to pull the sweet boy she met at the park as children back out into the open. Before long Severus brought out a lovely lamb stew with the gorgeous potato topping. It smelt delicious, and his care and attention told Lily that she was pulling him in the right direction. Surprisingly it was Sirius that tried to ease the tension.

"You know that tracking potion you pointed out, Severus? I think if I have a good look through Peter's house there may be something there that we can use. Maybe it can help us track him down," Sirius had no idea if it would work or not, it was something to try and say: 'Severus, I don't think you're an absolute tool.'

"Let me know if you need the potion brewed. I will be back at Hogwarts within the month and can work on it there. I will pass it back through Albus," Severus replied.

It was the most cordial discussion that they had ever had. Lily was starting to feel almost positive about the prospect of trust and even friendship. There was just so much to work through; Severus was a bitter man, and he held a grudge like no one else, and there was a lot to hold against them, particularly Sirius. Remus was more humble and never caused as much damage, but Sirius' pride and pig-headedness meant that building bridges was not something that he would be willing to put much effort in to. Sirius was a 'meet me where I am at' kind of guy. Severus was unable to meet Sirius anywhere, he needed something to show he could let go and trust him. What Lily knew was that it was a different kind of trust that was required, not trust in the 'war against Voldemort' sense, but trust that Sirius was going to stop treating him like Snivellus and start seeing him as Severus.

"Have you heard anything that's going on with the Order?" Lily asked.

She had once been in the thick of it, and now she was relegated to the sidelines. In reality, Lily knew she would be going crazy with worry if she left Harry with any of the men.

"Well, Dumbledore believes that Voldemort is still out there somewhere. I know he doesn't see much of a point in trying to destroy him as he is now, I get the impression Albus doesn't think that it's possible," Sirius continued, everyone moved over to the dining room, and Snape listened as he served food to each of the guests.

"It makes sense, he doesn't have a body by the sound of things, and we don't understand why he is still alive. I think we need to knuckle down and figure out what happened that night," Remus added, smiling at the very generous portion in front of him, sniffing the beautiful aromas.

"I cannot fathom it," Severus added. "Though I have mentioned to Dumbledore that there have been little comments, things he doesn't think any of us /servants/ would pick up on. He hints that he is immortal, but I have been unable to find any magic that could truly give him that."

He finished serving and sat himself down gesturing to everyone to eat.

"Well, I'm with Alice and Frank," Sirius added. "They are going to find him, and then they will kill him!"

Sirius started shovelling the food in his mouth, not the best manners in the world, but he couldn't help but smile while eating.

"I have to say, Dumbledore's plan makes more sense, but I can't help being with Frank and Alice. I can't bear the thought of that prophecy, and I can't bear the thought of him being out there! I can't rest until I know Harry is completely safe from that evil-" Lily struggled to find the words, she focused on the food in front of her instead.

"Arse-hole?" added Sirius with his mouth full of potato.

"Douchebag?" put in Remus.

"Keep it simple, he's a Swine," Severus said, really stretching out that last word.

Severus managed to sound sinister, yet in the context of the conversation, it actually made Sirius smile and Lily outright laughed. Severus' face was straight, he smiled on the inside.

* * *

The Longbottoms lived in a small wizarding village in Cheshire called Barnton. It was a beautiful rural town, with lots of nature. They had a lovely garden, and their eighteen-month-old son Neville just loved to play in it. They were a happy family, lots of Aunts and Uncles that were always around the house, which really helped with their current search. Frank and Alice would sit together in their study, and they poured over all the bits of information that they had gathered always thinking and deciphering where he might be. They believed Dumbledore that Voldemort wasn't completely gone, but they couldn't help thinking it was foolish not to attack in his weakened state. They had been brought up by Alastor Moody in the Auror Department of the Ministry of Magic, so they were loath to kill, always capture. They had looked into ways of trapping what remained of Voldemort somehow, but this was a specialised branch of magic, and it had dark connotations. They were starting to think that killing would be better. Either way, they wanted to do something about it and not just sit around. During their regular work hours they were tracking down Death Eaters, the rest of the time they were working on this. Tonight, however, Alice was at her Mother-in-law's with their son Neville and Frank was working alone. He was coming up short, as usual. There were hints, but nothing that would make pursuit a viable option, they needed secrecy and surprise to catch him.

It was the dead of the night, and he knew that Alice wouldn't be coming back now, so when a silent warning rang, letting Frank know that someone was in the garden, he knew something was wrong. He banished his papers, and all the information was gone. Frank sat behind his desk and waited, silently. It wasn't long before he was aware that there were people in the house, the fact that they didn't alert Frank they were there made him sure that it was an attack of sorts. Everyone was on edge still after the war, sure there had been that moment of jubilation when He Who Must Not Be Named disappeared, but with all the Death Eaters still at large, fear was still rife. Frank moved through the house, he found the best defensible position knowing that running was not really an option. During the war, Frank had protected the home from people directly Apparating in, but it also stopped him from Disapparating. As he waited, he heard whispering.

"Frank, Frankie Longbottom," she giggled manically.

At that moment Frank new at least two of the Death Eaters in his home. Bellatrix Lestrange and her husband Rodolphus, most likely his brother too Rabastan Lestrange. They were known to be the most violent supporters of He Who Must Not Be Named, and so far they had been proving quite challenging to catch. He waited, silently he camouflaged himself, so he blended into the walls, giving him the chance of surprise against his intruders. Quietly they moved past him, as suspected, Bellatrix, Rodolphus and Rabastan. Frank turned on them and performed a silent leg locker curse hoping for the extra time to get the others. He knew the moment that he moved the camouflage would be removed and then it was fighting time. He moved, and Bellatrix's legs were jammed, but at the same moment Frank heard another voice;

"Petrificus Totalus," shouted a voice that he hadn't heard in this context before.

His body snapped together, arms and legs, he fell backwards, now completely unable to defend himself. Frank mentally scolded himself for not noticing that there were four and not three people in his house. He tumbled backwards and saw the face of the one that had captured him. It was only then that Frank realised where he'd heard the voice before, his boss Barty Crouch, it was his son, Barty Crouch Jnr. He was just a boy.

In a moment they had righted Bellatrix and were gathering him up, slowly the four Death Eaters were carrying him outside of the house. Then everything went dark, and he felt himself being Apparated away. To where though, he had no idea.

* * *

Frank was released from the curse, and his body relaxed. He tried to run for it, but strong arms grabbed him immediately and shoved him roughly into a hard chair. It was dark, and so Frank was unable to see or understand what was happening. He felt ropes or vines moving upwards and wrapping around his legs, and arms and pulling tightly. He had been secured to the chair, the ropes continued to bind and strangle his limbs until they started to cut into his flesh. Frank was quite unable to move, and he was beginning to realise that escape was not going to happen. It was only at this point that any light appeared in the room.

The room was bare, there were no windows, and it's walls, floor and ceiling were plain dark stone. The only people with him were the crazed Lestrange siblings, Bellatrix Lestrange, and Barty Crouch Jnr.

Bellatrix was tall and thin, she had long glossy black hair, her dark eyes were frenzied and excited, and her thin-lipped mouth stretched over an unhinged smile. Next to her stood her much taller husband, he was stockily built and had dark hair and the same pale complexion. His brother could have been a twin but he was a slightly slimmer build and somewhat shorter than Rodolphus, the pale skin and the dark eyes were identical. Barty Crouch Jnr. looked entirely different than the others; he was very slight and pale with straw-coloured hair, and his face had just a sprinkling of freckles. Frank couldn't help but notice how young he looked, only a year or two out of Hogwarts? Frank cried for the poor boy on the inside, what could happen to a child so young to bring them to this so soon?

"Where is the Dark Lord!" Bellatrix asked, her voice shrill but excited.

"I do not know," responded Frank.

Finally, the mystery was solved, and he was thankful that all his research was hidden away. He could handle a bit of rough and tumble without spilling any intelligence. Besides he didn't honestly know where he was yet, Frank smiled.

"Crucio!" screamed Barty.

Franks body writhed in agony, white hot searing pain shot through every nerve of his body, he was no longer able to think or even remember why he was there, there was only the pain. As the pain finally stopped, Frank's heart broke for the boy even more than it had before, his mind wandered to Neville, hoping that he would be able to love his son well enough to save him from feeling such hatred.

"Where Is He?" Bellatrix screamed, her eyes wild with fury.

"I still don't know," Frank said, just about getting the words out before he got another dose of the torture curse.

"Crucio," yelled Rodolphus and Rabastan.

Frank screamed throughout. Somehow, the pain was doubled, which he would have never thought possible. In each break from the pain, Frank thought only of his wife and child. He thanked Merlin that they were safe. This went on for hours and hours until Frank mercifully passed out.

* * *

It had been a few weeks since their meal, and things had gradually improved between Sirius and Severus. There were the beginnings of the hope of trust, but it was tenuous, to say the least. Sirius was mostly guarded with what he would say when Severus was around, but would occasionally speak about things that were happening with the Order. Severus was at Hogwarts during the day now and would Floo back at the weekends. It was the weekend after and Severus was due to arrive at any moment.

Sirius was pacing back and forth in front of the fire, waiting for him to return. Lily was in the kitchen, watching, her face was like thunder. With a sudden flash of green, Severus appeared in the fire. Remus who had been sat in the living room watching Harry suddenly picked him up and walked upstairs, it seemed he sensed fireworks.

"Playing the part of double agent well, aren't we?" Sirius spat the words at the man who stood in the fire grate.

"Excuse me?" Severus asked. He spoke with precision, each syllable clear cut. It wasn't that he was angered by what had been said, more confused.

"FRANK LONGBOTTOM!" Sirius bellowed.

He couldn't control his temper anymore, and his rage spilled out, and it was aimed directly at Severus. Lily was furious too, but at who was unclear.

"He has gone missing, mere weeks after I spoke about it in this house, in front of this FILTH!" he gestured at Severus, but not bothering to speak directly to him.

"Sirius this is stupid," Lily said, her voice much calmer, and yet you could tell that she wasn't happy. "You're jumping to conclusions again, just like you did with Remus!"

Severus noticed how she had trusted him, and while his focus was on Sirius, he couldn't help but feel lighter for it.

"You think I would do that? Turn spy at great risk to myself, and then stand up in court to get you out of Azkaban, simply to betray you?" Severus asked. His voice was cold and dangerous, and each word he spoke with it was deliberate.

"Don't ask me to understand the mind of filthy Death Eater scum!" snarled Sirius.

"I would have thought after being thrown into Azkaban - INNOCENT, you would have a few more questions before jumping straight to guilty," spat Severus.

"I had always been innocent, you have ALWAYS been guilty," Sirius continued shouting, his voice getting louder and louder until they heard the child crying upstairs.

"SIRIUS!" Lily shouted, now she was getting both upset and furious.

She has the kind of angry look in her eyes that made Sirius quake, and feel incredibly guilty as the tears threatened to spill over. Severus noticing wanted to try to help, but the hurt and anger of all those years were ready to spill out.

"Just stop, just stop talking for crying out loud," she pleaded.

"No Lily, Frank is likely dying somewhere, being tortured and it's because I trusted a Death Eater!"

Sirius was no longer shouting, but his voice was even more dangerous than it had been before.

"I think it's time for an honest chat," Severus retorted coldly.

He walked purposefully out of the kitchen and into the cupboard under the stairs. Sirius marched straight after him. The cupboard under the stairs wasn't a cupboard at all anymore; it opened up into a large dark room where there was a bed in one corner and bookshelves lined with old volumes. There was a small cauldron set up and a cupboard full of vials and jars of ingredients. Sirius stormed after him, unfazed by the set up of the room. He stood watching as Severus plucked a small vial from the highest shelf and handed it to Sirius. Sirius inspected the bottle and read the label: 'Veritaserum.'

"I don't even trust that," he spat.

"Oh, give it here," Lily spat at Sirius. She took the vial and dropped a few drops onto her tongue. "I guess we are going to find out if any of you won that bet?"

Severus watched her, she was marvelous as she stood there in all of her fury. Lily wasn't a shouter or a screamer, she had that tone of voice that made Sirius sit up and pay attention, and on her face, you could read it all, the way that she handled things. Severus was in awe of her, much like he always had been.

"Who was your first crush?" Sirius asked with a smirk.

Severus rolled his eyes, that a situation that was so dire was having an interlude so Sirius could see if he had won a foolish bet.

Lily struggled, it really was a question that she didn't want to answer. It was nothing to do with their silly bet or keeping an embarrassing secret. The secret would be telling, it would give insight into her heart that she just didn't want to offer, but then it would prove her point. She tried her hardest to say a name, any name other than the one she knew would come out. The Veritaserum worked fast, compelling her to speak the truth.

"S- s," she said as she continued to fight it.

Sirius' eyebrows went up, again making assumptions. After all, who was devilishly handsome, Gryffindor and had a name beginning with 'S'. Sirius never thought it could be anyone else. And that was why the words that came out were such a shock.

"Severus Snape."

The words knocked Severus to the floor. He was flummoxed, this was the moment that he realised that he could have had everything that he wanted. Without even thinking of the fact that he was forcing the information from her, he asked the follow-up question that was thumping in his chest.

"Why did it end, the crush?"

"It ended when you called me a Mudblood," she whispered.

Tears fell from her eyes, and Severus immediately went to that moment. The worst day of his life, the day he had said that cruel word because he didn't want to be embarrassed by the girl that he loved. Now he realised that he could have had it all, if only he had kept his mouth shut.

"OK, she wouldn't admit that without a bit of truth potion, drink up and we can have a chat."

Severus caught the vial that was tossed over to him, but his eyes remained focused on Lily. She was so guarded as she walked out of the room, her face was stony, rigid, but the tears were still falling. Severus downed the entire vial.

"Have you shared information about Frank and Alice Longbottom?" Sirius asked.

"Only with Albus Dumbledore," replied Severus.

"Did you speak in a place where someone could have overheard, or a place where you had planned for someone to overhear?" Sirius asked, his tone still biting.

"No," responded Severus. His voice lost all of its sting now, the magic of the Veritaserum lulling into a calm and relaxed state. As long as Severus didn't fight it, that's how it would remain.

The current issue of trust had been dealt with, but Sirius couldn't help taking advantage of the situation. He continued with his own inquiry.

"Would you ever betray Dumbledore, the Order of the Phoenix or anyone that opposed the Dark Arts?"

"No, believe it or not, that isn't who I am."

Sirius was shocked, he knew that Severus was unable to lie, but this was a conflict of the man's entire adult life, until recently.

"If that's true, how did you come to work for the Dark Lord?"

Severus struggled more now. His reasoning and his pain was something that he didn't want to go into, least of all with Sirius Black. It was a minefield of emotions, but the potion was potent, and the compulsion was too strong.

"It started at 5th year Hogwarts," he started. "After an exam, you and James used my own spell against me, humiliated me," Severus condemned.

This was, in fact, his worst memory, not something he wanted to go into with great detail.

"I remember that," Sirius said.

He didn't let on that he felt a wave of shame. As much as he disliked the man, through adult eyes, he could no longer look at the situation and laugh. He had seen the very same spell he used, the same tactic used by Death Eaters, it pulled Sirius' own actions into sharp relief.

"But what does that have to do with your choice to become a Death Eater, if that's not who you truly are?"

"I'm getting there," he replied. "If you remember, Lily stood up to you that day, as she had done so many times."

Sirius nodded. Neither of them knew but just outside the entrance to Severus' cupboard sat Lily, listening intently.

"I was humiliated and angry and I said something…" he struggled to decide how he would get across what he had done. "It was unforgivable."

Here he stopped, his face no longer struggling to hide the shame that he felt about that day, the day that had changed everything.

"What did you say?" Sirius asked.

It was no longer an interrogation. It seemed like this was a way that Sirius actually saw a real version of Snape. Severus was unable to frame himself as he wished Sirius to see him, no cold hard mask hid all his emotions. He noticed the mans face change, realising he would have no choice but to bare all.

"I called her a-" Severus paused as he took a deep breath. "Mudblood." Severus' face contorted, not out of anger but due to his inability to reign in his usually controlled emotions. He was vulnerable, and in front of the last man he would ever want to see him like this. "I tried to make things right. However, Lily would not forgive me. There were contributing factors, the company I kept. In those days there wasn't a Slytherin that didn't have a connection to the Dark Lord, but what I said was the last straw, it was the single biggest mistake of my life. Losing Lily."

Severus motioned to move away from the cupboard. He didn't want to go any further. He'd bared enough for one day, but Sirius blocked his exit.

"How is that responsible for you turning your allegiance to the single most evil wizard in history? How can that be responsible for all that you did for him?"

Sirius couldn't deny that he was angry, he felt it was a cop-out. A sob story making it 'ok' for him to be the man that he had been, to curse and torture people at Voldemort's bidding, but it's ok 'cause he got bullied, and he lost the girl. At this Severus broke, it was too hard to contain anymore, as the potion had set in it was harder and harder for him not to answer and it tumbled out in a mass of anger and hurt.

"BECAUSE I HAD NOTHING ELSE, NO ONE ELSE!"

The cries that broke forth were perhaps the most real part of Severus that Sirius had ever seen. The moment he admitted just how little he really had, and how much she had really meant to him. The fear, the anger and the heartbreak spilt out into every word. The rush of emotion shocked Sirius, and Severus too. They stood in the room in silence for sometime as Severus managed to reign in his emotions again.

"I was a broken man. I suffered abuse as a child, abuse at school and was surrounded by those that wanted to hurt people that they felt deserved it. Those that appeared to stand up for what was good and right in this world did nothing for me, they never helped me. There was one good thing in my life and when I lost that I was alone. I wanted to belong to something, I wanted a family," he paused. "I was full of bitterness and hate, and it seemed that you and your friends, the people who were good were the ones that those around me targeted. It was too tempting, I believed it would heal me, and I wanted to hurt people like you the way you hurt me. I thought if I were more powerful than you everything would be okay. I could fix everything if I were powerful enough. I believed that I would be someone that Lily would look at again! I believed if I succeeded enough, she might actually love me. It may seem ridiculous to you, but I was … desperate."

There was no more compulsion, he had revealed everything that really had contributed to him choosing such an awful path. Lily was still in the same spot, crying silent tears. Severus was drained, emotionally, physically, he was rung out.

Sirius looked at him and wondered how he would have handled having no one but those that had such an agenda. He thought about how it must feel to know that those who claimed to oppose such evil be so cruel to you. It was almost as if Severus had been herded into a life that he may or may not have chosen on his own. The part that had even seemed ridiculous to Severus, he understood more than anything else.

"What you said about choosing that life to impress Lily."

He looked at Severus, the man's face was full of rage and anguish, he had clearly pushed him to the limit, and yet, Severus at the end of himself changed something inside Sirius.

"I understand that - maybe not the Death Eater bit - but-" he let out a gentle laugh, he was actually making an effort to soothe Severus, the only way he knew how. "I mean, that's why James targeted you. I followed 'cause I thought it was hilarious, and I was loyal to my own fault. James, he wanted Lily, and somehow he thought humiliating her best friend from Slytherin would work." He smiled at the man in front of him. "It was pure jealousy of course, for a long time she wouldn't even look at James, and our actions never helped."

Sirius thought about apologising to the man in front of him; instead, he decided on something else, perhaps something more appreciated by Severus, maybe it was easier for Sirius.

"My family, it was like being stuck in Slytherin, not following the family line was difficult. In the end, I had to run away, I can see how hard it would be, I was lucky to have somewhere to run to."

He realised his choice was to try and show Severus some of his troubled life, but he knew really he hadn't dug even slightly beneath the surface. Sirius knew he should apologise for his own actions towards the man, for almost barring him from another way of life. But Sirius' pride got the better of him, and he comforted himself with the thought that Severus made his own choices. Sirius could no longer deny that he had played a part, he felt sure after seeing Severus that he had understood his options too, regret was in every word he spoke.

"If I were you, I would focus on looking for Bellatrix Lestrange."

With that Severus made his way out of the room, and straight to the kitchen, he didn't hesitate in floo-ing straight back to Hogwarts.


	7. Chapter 6 Part 2

**A/N: I do not own Harry Potter  
**

 **Thanks for bearing with me on this huge re-write I decided to go through, and I know it has taken longer than I realised. I have finished the competition I was in now, and while I feel okay about my performance, we did not win. I am already working on the next chapter, and I hope to get it to you very soon.**

* * *

Chapter 6 - The Tragedy of Frank and Alice Longbottom - Part 2

Frank had no idea how long he had been in the dungeon-like room. Since his arrival, his life had only consisted of the pain. He blacked out often, sometimes his body was able to rest - if they noticed he passed out of course. Sometimes they wouldn't, and his body would writhe in pain while his mind was unable to remain present. There was no mercy. They were criminally insane, taking joy from the torture and suffering that they doled out. Frank was able to stay conscious less and less.

It became clear that Frank didn't know anything about Voldemort's whereabouts; however, they seemed determined to wring out a least a little information: one lead, or the location of his research. As the group became more desperate, their methods became all the more sadistic; Barty Jr and Bellatrix were particularly creative. Towards the end of one day, Frank had given nothing, they punished him with a combination of water and a lightning curse. The pain was unbearable. Large electric burns throbbed where the curse hit, but the pain still radiated throughout his body. The Cruciatus Curse was added for good measure. As Frank mercifully passed out, he was left lying in the wet. He had no food or water, and dehydration was setting in. When Frank had been there for a week, it was Rabastan that ended the physical torture. Maybe what he chose instead was worse.

"Frank?" Rabastan spoke in a deep surly voice.

He pulled Frank up by his hair, this small pain somehow being insurmountable to Frank now. Rabastan leaned in, and Frank could smell the man's breath as he mocked and sneered at the now powerless Auror.

"I have been watching your family. Little Neville is getting so big now. I think he misses his daddy, don't you?" Rabastan threatened.

"…" Frank tried to speak.

Frank had managed to hide the amount of pain that he had experienced, for the most part, refusing to make any noise at all. However, the simple act of being pulled up by his hair and the shock of hearing about his son was just too much. Finally, they heard Franks continued anguished cries.

"Now, you can go back to Neville and your dear wife, Alice." Pulling tighter on his hair, Frank gave another cry, Rabastan gave him a satisfied look. "You just need to give us the information you have on The Dark Lords whereabouts - or," he continued, his sinister smile spreading into a maniacal grin. "You can keep quiet." He threw Franks' head to the floor where it hit the concrete with a hard bang. Rabastan knelt down, his face at Franks' ear as he spoke. "I will find Alice, and I will make you watch as I give her every ounce of pain she can handle. Maybe more. If you remain quiet, I will be forced to bring baby Neville for a visit."

There was fear in Franks' face. He could take any amount of physical pain, but he couldn't take watching his family being hurt.

"I- I- sowy." Frank could barely make words anymore, tears streamed down his face. "Pease - Pease. I know nofin'." It took a great deal of effort to force out the half-formed words. "Pease, I pomis'. I pomis'- no 'formation!"

Frank was subjected to another dose of the Cruciatus Curse, Frank screamed in agony until he fell unconscious, and Frank remained motionless for some time.

* * *

Since Severus was back at Hogwarts, the house had been considerably calmer. Sirius had moved forward in his feelings about Severus, but unfortunately, things had taken a bit of a downward spiral in Severus' mind. Where he had been visiting the house in the evenings and weekends, he was now very absent. Severus felt like too much had been said, he had been forced to be far more vulnerable than he would like. He was also very disturbed by what Lily had said under the truth serum. It changed his whole world around, so much he had thought was true, was now a fiction. Severus' belief that Lily had always thought James better than him, and that he had never had a chance, was a complete falsehood. Again, it seemed he was foiled by his own self-hatred. This belief made his personal disclosures all the more distressing.

Remus had just finished his monthly cycle and was recovering before picking up the scent on Peter. He and Lily had always been close, their bond went far beyond friendship; Remus adored Lily. The relationship they had resembled more of a sibling bond, which had given many the wrong idea. They were so similar, both more willing to think out a situation, or back in Hogwarts they would study in the library. Remus was protective of Lily, and she, him. Lily wanted nothing more than the man to see himself how she saw him and to find happiness with someone that deserved him.

Remus was also great with Harry. Sirius, on the other hand, was not very fatherly, he was a fun uncle that Harry would probably have a great time with when he was older. Sirius was the kind of guy that would encourage night time excursions at school and the same sort of 'dangerous' fun he and James had gotten up to at school.

It was difficult to see how Severus felt about Harry, on the one hand, he had sworn to help protect him and put his whole life on the line to do it. And this was not just by being a double agent, but literally moving his life into Harry's and being part of a tiny protective pack. On the other hand, if Severus didn't have to be in the room with Harry, he wouldn't be. He didn't play, hold, feed or engage with him. Lily hoped that this would change, and while Harry may not be able to tell the difference right now, which was questionable, she wanted to protect him from this kind of rejection when he was older. Living as Muggles was a bit of a challenge for the group, mainly because they were all used to those little magical solutions.

It was one of those evenings, and Remus and Lily were sat down to an evening of TV, something that felt very Muggle. However, Harry had been ill and therefore not settled. All plans to watch the TV adaptation of Brideshead Revisited were interrupted by a recovered but very attention seeking Harry. He was on the couch between Lily and Remus vying for their attention and winning. His favourite entertainment was the colourful erupting bubbles from Lily's wand, it also led to Harry frequently making a grab for it.

"Harry Potter what a rotter!" Remus said in a sing-song voice.

He gently tugged playfully at the wand that Harry had managed to get his hands on, and the wand spewed out puffs of golden smoke.

"Harry! That's your first spell… well done," Lily cooed at her son's accidental magic.

She removed the wand from his hand and sent another flow of bubbles in his direction. Harry was no longer content with bubbles and started to cry, his hands grasping for the rather fun looking stick! It was in this moment that they received an unexpected and belated visit from Severus. The fire blazed green in the kitchen, he heard the commotion in the living room and followed. Severus wasn't one for spending time with Harry or even being around when he was fussing; however today he walked in purposefully. He watched as the child cried, trying to clutch Lily's wand.

"Harry … no!" Lily repeated. "Mummy's wand is not Harry's toy!" she spoke in a firm yet light voice.

Harry continued to grasp for the wand. Severus watched the whole exchange; Remus tried to distract him with colourful smokes and more bubbles, this only made Harry grasp for Remus' wand.

"Severus!" Lily beamed.

Lily had been hoping that he would come by, she wanted to repair things. She and Severus hadn't really spoken since their revelations, at least not about anything that mattered. However, Severus walked straight out of the living room. Lily looked at Remus, her expression telling him just how much it hurt her.

"It'll be ok Lil," Remus said as pulled her into an affectionate hug. Harry nestled between them, still making grasps for the wands. "He's hurting, and it takes time. I'm impressed that he came to be honest," Remus reassured her, hiding his annoyance at the way Severus handled things.

Then surprisingly Severus walked back into the living room holding a robust twig; it had all the leaves removed, and there were no sharp edges unless you counted the pointy end, which was so thin it bent at the slightest pressure. He walked over to Harry and gave the twig a little swish, Bubbles began erupting from the small twig. Harry rewarded Severus with a giggle and reached out for the twig.

"Now Harry can have his own special wand," Severus said, his voice wasn't playful, but it had a slight warmth. It was barely noticeable, but it was there.

Remus and Lily watched in shock at what looked suspiciously like a smile played out on Severus' face. Harry was more focused on shaking the wand in his little fist, bubbles spewing everywhere.

"I got your last owl - you said Harry had a temperature and wasn't sleeping. I brought a few milder potions. They should be quite effective but delicate for reducing fever and aiding sleep." Severus placed some vials on the side table, all neatly labelled in his own hand. He stood there awkwardly.

"Th- Thank you," Lily smiled. It was a smile that stopped Severus in his tracks.

"You're very welcome, Lily." He tried to smile, though it was so rarely seen or used, it looked a little odd. "I do have to go." Severus glanced at the TV giving it a bemused look, turned and exited through the kitchen via the Floo again.

"See, he's hurting, but he's getting there."

Remus' face said it all though. He was flummoxed by the turn of events, Lily thought maybe he hadn't been so confident all the other times he had reassured her.

"Remus," she said, as though the words she would speak were a weight on her shoulders. "It's not just that, things were said; I don't need complications. I just need to protect Harry, and I can't pretend he didn't hear what I said, or that I didn't hear what he said." Her eyes started to well up. "Having that friendship back is everything to me right now, but my husband died a month ago!"

Lily's tears came thick and fast, Remus moved Harry into the corner of the sofa. He pulled her close and hugged her tightly.

"Severus doesn't expect anything. He cares so deeply for you, and he's so thankful he's got your friendship back too. Just remember that all he heard was that he was your first crush, and then you married James. He came here knowing that."

Remus tried to comfort her, though if he knew anything about Severus' feelings, then it was him that he would worry for. Remus saw it burning inside Severus whenever he looked at Lily, and he saw that Severus knew nothing would ever happen, that is why he was far more concerned for him than Lily.

* * *

Frank had been missing for around a week when Alice decided to search for him. Sirius had been by and told her that he had information that Bellatrix Lestrange was likely involved. That was where she started her search. Alice had staked out the Lestrange house, the Black House and found nothing, searched through recon files in the Auror Department and visited every known haunt. Alice interviewed as many Death Eaters as she could, though she only had access to those in Azkaban. They were not helpful. Her search led her to the Malfoy Manor, where Lucius was adamant that he had been under the _Imperious Curse_ and had nothing to do with his Sister-in-Law. He painted the perfect picture: a good family man.

From here she didn't travel far, they caught up with her. Soon enough she would find her husband, though it was not likely to be the kind of meeting that she had hoped for. She woke to find herself in the same ominous concrete room. It had little light but seemed to be a large spacious room, everything was solid and cold. A small fire had been lit and in the corner lay her husband, he was breathing, but unconscious. It looked like he had been severely beaten.

"Frank!" Alice stumbled over to her husband. "Frank, wake up! Come on Frank!" she cried pulling and shaking her husband. Frank, however, didn't respond.

Bellatrix then made herself known, as she came out of the shadows she hit Alice with a curse:

"Crucio!" she shouted.

Alice's body writhed in pain. Losing all control, she let go of her husband and collapsed on the floor next to him, screaming in agony.

"Where is Voldemort?" shouted a voice so utterly unfamiliar to her, the young man that moved into the light was Barty Crouch Jr.

"I- I don't, n- n - know!" she stammered.

"Crucio!" Bellatrix shouted again.

"But if I did -" she began defiantly. "-I wouldn't tell you!" All her energy was now going into her defiance.

It did nothing to help her, only cause a surge of anger in her captors, and she was hit by four curses at once.

"CRUCIO!" Alice writhed in agony for a while before passing out completely.

It took a further two weeks of torture before the Death Eaters lost hope that they would ever get information out of Frank or Alice. Unfortunately, they were not into letting them win, in fact, they made more of a sport of it. It seemed as though they enjoyed the torture that they inflicted on the Longbottoms, it was as though they deserved immeasurable pain. Alice wasn't sure how long it lasted, but she held out until the very end. Unfortunately a witch or wizard can't die from pain, but they can lose parts of themselves, and unfortunately, this is what happened to Frank and Alice.

* * *

It had been a month since Sirius and Severus had exchanged words on the case of Frank Longbottom. Alice was missing as well now, and Sirius had spent all of his time and energy searching for them. He had even abandoned his search for Peter - though not permanently. It was with that thought that he ventured over to Malfoy Manor, and he remembered the conversation he had had earlier with Severus:

"Malfoy may have information, but he isn't going to admit to anything that can get him in trouble," Severus had said. "He's worked hard to make sure he is completely clean after the Dark Lords fall, but he or his wife are likely the only people that have any connection to Bellatrix and her husband."

"If he isn't going to admit it, Snape, how do I get the information? Alice is gone now too, they've been gone too long, we are starting to lose hope."

Sirius had been making a concerted effort with Severus. Despite this, he still harboured a great dislike for the man, and it seeped out in his tone and attitude, only making working together that much more difficult. If Sirius was candid with himself, it wasn't as clear to him why he disliked Snape so much now.

"The only way would be a truth potion. I have some Veritaserum which is the strongest you can get. The problem comes when you're trying to get him to drink it. Lucius will be expecting it, and to win you will have to be far more cunning than him. You want to play to his weakness, which is his pride. Make him believe that he isn't under suspicion, make him feel important, and above all else suck up!" Severus advised firmly. "Flattery works with Malfoy. I know he has likely made donations to various departments at the Ministry. Galleons help him slip out of the laws clutches quite easily - see if you can find out if any went to law enforcement or the Auror office. If it did, you make a show of thanking him for it, that you are in his debt, that you will be in his debt if he helps you. Remember that you need him, let him see that and make assumptions, he needs to relax and believe that you think he has already helped the post-war effort."

"So you want me to suck up to the silver-haired pillock?" Sirius added with disgust.

"Yes… and if you want Frank and Alice, that is exactly what it will take," Severus added firmly. "It's despicable work, but that's what it takes."

Severus' voice remained even, he had noticed a change in Sirius, but almost felt that this was too little too late, and remained distant from the man. Although Severus always ensured that he did all that he could to help. Much of his aid was for Lily's benefit, after all, she was the one that he cared for, not Alice, not Frank and certainly not Sirius Black.

"If you manage to start a search, there is a cellar. It's hidden under the drawing room. You can't apparate in or out of it, and there is no way of getting in or out of it except via the door, which doesn't respond to 'Alohomora'," he continued evenly. "It's a place they might keep prisoners, but it has always been a place that Lucius would hide things that maybe he would rather the Ministry didn't find, I wouldn't be surprised to see them there."

"Thank you, Severus."

He had ended the conversation there, offering only a handshake. Severus had ignored it of course, which irked Sirius. Remus had taken the time to point out that this was to be expected, he had a much better understanding of Severus. It was hard for Sirius to see himself through Severus' eyes, though it was also becoming harder and harder to ignore the part that he had played in Severus' life. Sirius knew that actually, it would take some effort on his end to show that he could be trusted. Severus had been doing a lot to prove his trust, but there wouldn't be any warmth between them, let alone friendship until the faith worked both ways. That being said, Severus was showing very little kindness to Sirius either, and often rubbed him up the wrong way. In many ways, each was just as bad as the other.

From there Sirius had checked for Malfoy donations made to his department, and sure enough, Scrimgeour had accepted a significant gift of Galleons which had been being used for the excessive overtime that had been needed, and the new equipment that Aurors had been given. It turned out that actually the Aurors where in the debt of Lucius Malfoy, but that wouldn't effect Sirius' job, it just gave him an angle.

Sirius was filled with anxiety as he approached the manner, he was not like Severus - a double agent - and this wasn't his forte. He had Veritaserum in a hidden pocket, and he had the information he needed. Severus had given him strict instructions on how to use the Serum so that Lucius would be unaware of what was happening until it was too late. He was to start off small, things that didn't matter, things Lucius wouldn't need to lie about, or wouldn't want to lie about. It was imperative that he didn't sense the compulsion, to tell the truth until it was too late. Sirius would need all his cunning.

He arrived at the gates, he did as instructed and tapped the gates with his wand. It was in that moment that a small House Elf popped into existence. He was about three foot tall with enormous ears, they were almost bat-like, he had green eyes. Despite the poor elf's battered and beaten look, his eyes were full of life and had sparkled with unbelievable joy.

"I have come to speak to Lucius Malfoy. I must speak to him at once," Sirius said through gritted teeth.

He had hoped to sound as gracious as possible, though the idea of needing a Death Eaters help was horrifying, especially since this particular Death Eater had bought his way out of Azkaban.

The House Elf held onto Sirius' robes and disapperated to the large entrance way. The House Elf was nowhere in sight, and Sirius was forced to wait. The house reminded Sirius of his old family home, gothic and decadent.

'It seems to be the hallmark of the pureblood proud families of the wizarding world,' he thought to himself. 'Honestly, why can't any of them have some taste,' he mused silently.

Within a moment, Lucius walked into the hall, smiling at Sirius, and yet Sirius knew that it was false. Severus had warned him that Lucius would be on high alert and that while Lucius may look like a pampered prince, he was a brilliant man. He was a typical Slytherin, so cunning and intelligence would be needed.

"Black!" he greeted him warmly. "Important Ministry business I presume? However can I be of assistance?" he asked.

Lucius shook Sirius by the hand and guided him to the drawing room. Sirius wondered if this could be the drawing room Severus had mentioned, could Bellatrix be below his feet at this very moment?

"Hi Lucius," Sirius smiled. "Bad business, to be honest, bad business."

He shook his head as he spoke, appearing warm towards a man he knew had lied about the _Imperious Curse_ and a man that he had come toe to toe with more than once in the war.

"I was sorry to find out that you had been under the _Imperious Curse_ all this time?" Sirius asked, taking a seat. He tried to sound genuinely concerned, though not entirely sure he managed it. "There were a few times that we ended up face to face, and I'm just glad that we have that opportunity now to see each other again under better circumstances. I am glad we can see each other as allies."

"Thank you, Sirius. Is it okay if I call you Sirius?" Lucius asked. The kindness in his voice was false, but Sirius still wondered if maybe Lucius bought his lies.

"Yes, of course. After all, we are family," Sirius laughed gently. "Unfortunately your Sister-in-Law, Bellatrix, my cousin and her husband are believed to have been genuine Death Eaters. Regrettably, they are believed to have captured two of our best Aurors."

"Ah, I see. Does the Auror department need another donation?" Lucius asked with a smile.

"No, but thank you for the help so far! I know it's rather unfair, but your connection to her can't be ignored. To save Frank and Alice, we hoped you or your wife might have some information regarding their whereabouts?" Sirius paused for a moment, watching Lucius' face, it gave nothing away. Sirius was glad he had the Serum as a backup. "I, myself have been questioned, as you know Bellatrix is a cousin of mine, as is your wonderful wife, Narcissa, but nothing came of anything that I knew."

"Not at all, we understand, Narcissa herself has been very grieved to learn the actions of her sister. We will both help in any way that we can." He smiled his silky smile once more. "I believe you may find little of our information useful, as Bellatrix became more involved in the Lestrange family, they pulled her away from her sister. They were more... aggressive about their beliefs than Narcissa and myself," he finished.

"My thoughts exactly, but I can't leave a perfectly good stone unturned I'm afraid. I'm realising more and more that the only people that would be able to help are likely to be those that are so unwilling, the real Death Eaters."

Sirius put on a sad smile, almost affectionate, putting him and Lucius on the same side, or at least appearing so.

"We will just have to make the ordeal as painless as possible," Lucius spoke clicking his fingers, and the House Elf appeared again. "Dobby, I would like a Carafes of Wine and two goblets for Mr Black and myself."

Sirius knew that this is where it would get tricky, the man likely didn't trust him, and now he would have to spike the drink. He thought over tips that Severus had given him, he was the man to listen to after all.

" _Sirius, picking the drink is the hard part. If he drinks what you give him you're safe, but it's getting it in and him trusting it."_

" _Can't I just use a_ Confundus Charm _or something?" Sirius blurted out._

" _If you want to get caught, sure," Severus added coldly. "You're not the only one there, and as soon as Narcissa sees her husband, she will know he has been confounded."_

" _Okay genius, how do I spike his drink?" Sirius asked sarcastically._

" _You should appear to spike his drink," Severus smiled wickedly._

" _What?" Sirius exclaimed. "If he sees me…"_

" _Then he will take your drink," Severus smiled. "Try to look like you don't want him to see though."_

" _So, I look like I am trying to spike his drink without him noticing, but actually spike my own?"_

" _Which you definitely don't want him to notice," Severus finished with a sneer. They had practised for hours until Severus had been happy that he would be able to fool Lucius._

Now it was showtime. Dobby, the House Elf, arrived and placed a large tray on the table. The dingy Elf bowed to his master who gave him a good kick shouting as he did it.

"Leave!" he didn't even mention the poor creatures name. Lucius reached to pour a drink when Sirius intervened.

"You're too kind Lucius, Let me," Sirius offered courteously.

Sirius reached for the decanter and poured two glasses. He did just as Severus showed him, hiding his spiking for Lucius' drink, but while the other Wizard noticed that, the serum was already dropped into his own goblet. He set his newly filled chalice before him as he put the decanter back on the tray, and with a hidden moment of triumph, Lucius swapped the drinks.

"Let's start off small shall we?" Lucius asked.

Clearly, he wanted to test that Sirius did, in fact, have the serum in his drink. Severus had warned Sirius that Lucius would want to make sure he was safe, and as such Sirius would have to appear to be under the truth serum.

"How much do you see your family these days?" Lucius asked.

"Well, my blood relatives, not at all really. They were never happy when I was sorted into Gryffindor, and the friends I made dramatically changed me. We are mostly estranged. However, I still saw my uncle; Alphard Black, that is until he passed away a few years ago. I had thought of trying to mend bridges after that, but Mother wouldn't allow that, and I would never subscribe to their views!" Sirius made sure to add just enough disgust for his families values to appease the man's suspicion, though not enough to incur his wrath.

"The Potters became somewhat of a surrogate family I believe?" Lucius questioned.

He found it easier to share information about his blood relations, but he knew he would have to speak about the Potters, his real family, and yet Harry's protection needed to stay intact. Unfortunately, this meant truth mixed with lies, and without getting caught. With that Sirius summoned any latent Slytherin genes he might have to aid him.

"Yes. It was a hard day when Mr and Mrs Potter died, they had been very good to me," Sirius began delicately. "They took me in when I ran away, and I don't think I would have managed without them to be honest." Sirius was able to keep his emotions in check so far. The Potters were and would always be a difficult topic. "The real blow was losing James of course, he was like a brother to me, and with Harry and Lily going into hiding, I only see Remus these days. He's the only family left really."

He couldn't help his voice cracking with the emotion, the thought of just not being there for Harry was a difficult one. Knowing that Harry's life was always going to be filled with danger and focusing on that helped to make his lie believable.

"But we should talk about happier things. I believe you and Narcissa had a young son? One could argue he is my second cousin or second nephew… something like that?" Sirius forced a laugh. It was apparent it was forced, but given how emotional he got, it fit the story he was trying to tell.

"Ah yes, my son Draco!" Lucius gushed. A look of pride spread across his face, a subject that he could test the serum on, perfect.

"When is Draco's birthday?" Asked Sirius.

These were facts that he had already found out from Severus. He had been warned that there was the chance that Lucius would try to lie just to ensure he was safe from the serum. Hopefully, fatherly pride would get in the way.

"He will be 16 months next month, June 5th," he smiled with pride. Clearly, he was a proud dad. "And he is the most remarkable child. He's handsome, and already showing magical ability, I am very proud!"

"Nearly 2 months older than my Godson!" beamed Sirius.

This part was easy, gushing over Harry was something that he loved, even if it was to Lucius Malfoy.

"What kind of 'Magical Moments' have you had?" laughed Sirius. "Sorry, that is very cheesy! It's what Lily called it when Harry did something like make his food fly across the room into James' face!"

It was a genuine moment and what Lily had actually said while she gushed. It was also something no self-respecting wizard would call moments of accidental magic from a one-year-old.

"No! Don't worry," laughed Lucius. By now he was really starting to relax, and believe that Sirius had the Truth Serum. "I can imagine Narcissa coming up with an equally sentimental name for it." Sirius would have never had his dear cousin down for anything like that. "Well, Draco has done many similar things, though he usually aims at the House Elf. In fact, it is mostly House Elf abuse!" he laughed.

"Anyway, the job at hand," Sirius said, calming the conversation. "Bellatrix?"

"Bellatrix Lestrange, yes, my wife's sister," Lucius replied honestly.

"Do you know if she definitely worked for the Dark Lord?" asked Sirius. "I'm sure it's true, but there have been many shouting 'Imperio' now that He Who Shall Not Be Named is gone."

"Oh yes! Death Eater through and through, his most loyal!" he added with gusto.

He then caught himself, starting to catch onto what may have happened. Under the table, Sirius had his wand ready, ready to restrain the man at a moments notice.

"Do you know anyone that might be harbouring them?" Sirius asked a cruel smile played on his face as he watched Lucius squirm.

"YES!" Lucius spoke out of gritted teeth.

The jig was now up, he knew exactly what had happened. He tried to stand, but Sirius was quicker. A nonverbal _Impedimentia_ Jinx caused ropes to silently spring from his wand, coiling around his arms and legs, tying him to the chair.

"Who is harbouring them, Lucius?" Sirius was now beginning to enjoy himself.

"I AM!" It was clear Lucius was fighting the serum, the short answers he gave were just the bare minimum.

"And are you doing so willingly, or are you still under an _Imperious Curse_?" Sirius allowed himself to chuckle now. He had the man right where he wanted him, no amount of money could get someone out of this one, surely.

"I am not under any curse, I am harbouring them proudly and support every action against filthy blood traitors like the Longbottoms!" Malfoy spat, having wholly given in, his fury only making the serum stronger.

"And where are they?" he asked.

"ARGH!" Lucius was doing all he could to keep that information locked away.

Lucius knew now that he could not escape Azkaban, and his only way out would be the Dark Lord's return, and the Longbottoms had the only information.

"Lucius, I need you to answer like good little Death Eater, okay? Now, where is Bellatrix Lestrange keeping Frank and Alice?" Sirius asked. His voice was an odd combination of mocking and anger, taunting him and filled with fury at the same time.

"They are in a secret chamber, one that you will never find!" Lucius spat.

At that moment he muttered a silent spell, and the next Lucius was sat dead in the chair that he was tied to.

"Expecto Patronum," Sirius magicked his Patronus, a large dog made up of a silvery cloud. "I need a message sent to Scrimgeour. I know where Bellatrix is keeping the Longbottoms. It's a secret chamber underneath the drawing room at Malfoy Manor. I need back up at the manor now!" with that the Black dog sped away.

* * *

Harry was nearly fourteen months old and Lily was so proud of her little boy the first day he stood up. She watched proudly as he was able to take tentative steps while holding the edge of the sofa.

They had all, apart from Severus of course, been waiting and encouraging Harry to walk, holding him up and just daring him to do it. It felt like with all the bad things that still happened; Frank and Alice's capture; their inability to locate or even get a lead on Peter; the numerous Death Eaters that were walking free, that Harry's little milestones were the only cause for joy. The initial symptoms of magic, not including defeating a Dark Lord, of course, had been spectacular at first. However, Harry seemed quite happy with the wand that Severus had made for him, and so him doing magic had lost the buzz. Harry would crawl around the living room and search out the little twig and wave it wildly, the room filled with bubbles. Although Severus didn't seem to care all that much, it was strange that the twig would change the colour of the bubbles, the shape of the bubbles, or even start emitting smoke. These mysterious changes always seemed to coincide with his visits.

The first time he had said: 'Mama' Lily was overjoyed, to the point where she burst into tears. Then came the moment when everyone realised that he had no one that he would be calling 'Dada'. They all, apart from Severus, took this hard, it was just another reminder that James was gone. Sirius tried to hide it, but even he found the odd tear escaping. This, however, did not stop Remus and Sirius from competing for second place; whose name would Harry say next? Whenever either of them got the chance, they would play peek-a-boo, incessantly giving Harry a name to copy.

However, much to their displeasure, it was on one of the occasions when the twig changed to sparkly blue smoke, that Harry started bum shuffling around the room, waving the twig wildly shouting: 'nape, nape, nape!' rather excitedly. Sirius was more than irritated, Lily found it amusing, as Severus was the only one not vying for the child's attention, though he seemed to have it. Harry would often crawl straight over as soon as the stoic man appeared.

It was on one of those evenings that Harry managed to walk. He had been waving the twig wand in Severus' face, who looked mildly irritated as the now big bright golden bubble snitches were popping continuously in his face.

"Harry, No!" he said firmly, though not firm enough to dissuade Harry from his entertainment.

It seemed to everyone that Severus enjoyed it slightly, though unwilling to admit it. Though maybe he was playing the part of not being concerned with his fallen rivals child. He then picked Harry up under the arms and placed him in front of the sofa.

"Go to mummy!" he said in the same somewhat firm voice.

And Harry did, he held the side of the couch and sidestepped all the way to the other end, and let go right in front of Lily and landed on his fat baby bum.

"HARRY!" Lily exclaimed. "You are the cleverest boy in the world!"

Lily picked him up cuddling and kissing his chubby cheeks. She then placed Harry back down and said:

"Where's Snape!" she said excitedly.

Harry did not disappoint. He dropped his little twig wand and grabbed the sofa waddling side steps on his chunky baby legs all the way over to Severus. He only let go to reach up to him, and again he fell on his chunky baby bottom. In all the shock and horror, Severus hid his face behind his signature flowing black robes waiting. Harry grabbed the sofa and Severus' knee he pulled himself up and reached for the robes.

"NAPE!" Harry shouted with a huge smile on his face, and there was even a bright smile on Severus'.

This seemed to be the point when Severus didn't avoid the house as much as he had been. The awkwardness that Lily and Severus had both been feeling was able to slowly dissipate, and she felt more relaxed. Lily was more able to focus on building the trust between her very different friends. Remus and Severus seemed like an easy task; Remus was kind and understanding of Severus' past, and even understood after being on the receiving end of many prejudices himself. However, Sirius and Severus were both opposed to trusting each other, but she could see little hints that something could possibly change.

* * *

Sirius had finally got home from the raid on Malfoy Manor. He had a look of complete exhaustion, as he collapsed on the couch in a way that said 'attend to me'. Remus being Remus, did just that and made a cup of tea. He was going to be having the most disgusting brew of Wolfsbane Potion tonight for the first time. Lily was upstairs lulling Harry to sleep, and everyone else was waiting in the living room to hear the days news. It was a regular occurrence for the strange family, that's what Lily called them, though she was the only one. When something significant happened, or one of them had some news, they all made an effort to come together and share the information - even Severus. Usually, Severus would cook a meal, as they were still attempting to maintain the Muggle lifestyle and Remus and Sirius were hopeless. Lily was often busy with Harry's night time routine, and so he delighted in making things that little bit easier for her.

On this particular evening, things were a bit warmer between Severus and Sirius. Sirius had been so happy with the intelligence that Severus had given him, and the fact that Remus would be having a much less stressful Werewolf season, that he was much less antagonistic. It seemed to mean more than it had before the truth potion incident, despite their dislike it had caused a definite shift in the dynamics between them. Before Long Lily was tiptoeing down the stairs, the standard signal that a 'meeting' could begin. She gently closed the door that led to the stairs and took an offered cup of tea from Remus.

"What's for tea tonight?" she asked looking at Severus.

It was almost customary to have a bit of small talk first. Obligatory for Lily. This wasn't how Severus would do it, but Lily always needed to ease into it, she still felt anxious about what she was going to hear.

"You had some chicken in the fridge, really could have been done with being cooked today or tomorrow, so I made a chicken and mushroom casserole, it should be ready in about half an hour or so, just enough time for some news?" he looked at Sirius, apparently he'd like to get the ball rolling.

"I'm with Severus, it's like a plaster, just rip it off Sirius," Remus added.

Lily squirmed, apparently she wanted to both know and remain ignorant at the same time, the idea of more bad news just couldn't be bourne.

"Well, it's not all good," Sirius started. "I found Frank and Alice - they are a mess. We got them to St Mungo's, but it took some time to find the hidden basement, it was covered in enchantments."

"Are they going to be okay? Frank and Alice?" Lily interrupted.

"Not right now, and the Healers at St Mungo's couldn't or wouldn't say one way or the other, they said they had never seen such extensive use of the _Cruciatus Curse_ on one person. That was mostly concerning Frank. He had been there for nearly three weeks we think, and by the looks of things he hadn't had food or drink in that time. Frank is lucky to be alive. Honestly, Lil, it could have been the opposite," he paused.

Lily's face was filled with anxiety and worry.

"Alice," Sirius began, and his face brightened slightly. "There is more hope for Alice, she had gone less time without food, and there was a lot less damage from the _Cruciatus Curse_. She's still in a bad way, and neither of them are making much sense right now, but there is hope."

Lily nodded, finally smiling slightly. Alice honestly had been there for her many times during the war. She was somewhat like what Sirius was to James. Lily wouldn't have gotten too far without her, she was her confidant, her best friend, she was the one that knew everything. In many ways, she was the person that had truly replaced Severus once their friendship had ended.

"There have been times when people that went missing were cursed to the point where they were unable to talk," Severus began uneasily. "It was usually at the hands of Bellatrix and her husband. I wish I could tell you with certainty that there could be an improvement, but there may never be a cure for the damage that she has done."

He wanted to give her truth, he knew it was hard, he knew it would hurt, and he knew he was reminding her of his less than savoury past. But he couldn't help leaving that sliver of hope, that maybe that it was reversible when really, he knew that it wasn't.

"I'm sorry, Lily," he finished.

Lily looked shocked, Severus, as a rule, kept his past out of these meetings, out of any conversation.

"You've seen this before?" she asked.

"Yes," he whispered. Severus looked at the floor, apparently not proud of the history he had brought to the forefront.

"Caradoc Dearborn," he continued solemnly. "It was Bellatrix. On her own too, she is barbaric." He dared to look up, his dark eyes meeting hers. "She's cruel, even by Death Eater standards."

Severus may not like Remus, and he may even think very little of Sirius, but he couldn't deny that they had made more worthwhile choices than himself. They would never be able to give this kind of information, information that he wished he didn't have access to. The look in her eyes filled him with shame, it wasn't that she looked down on him, blamed him, it was the questioning, wondering look. Had Severus done this too?

"Have-" Lily paused, the question everyone wanted to ask on her lips. It was like she didn't want to ask, but not being able to take not knowing.

"Lily, don't!" Remus said gently.

The man had a heart that was so big, and he couldn't bear for Severus to go through that shame and humiliation. Severus deserved to keep his dignity, and while they were all wondering it, Remus wanted to at least give him that.

"We chose to trust Severus and to let go of his past. To do that we must truly let go, it cannot matter what was in the past, to be here we must forgive completely," he urged her gently.

Severus couldn't help but feel immense warmth for the man before him. Lily was already nodding, agreeing with Remus. He had never expected such kindness from one of the four friends that had made his life so unbearable. In so many ways especially Lupin. He had apparently known better, even disliked it, but continued anyway. It shocked Severus to see him standing up for him now, knowing that Lily had quite a legitimate question, knowing that this time Severus didn't actually deserve it.

"No, Remus," he began. "I promise, I never- the extent of my involvement was gathering information, and… I promise that alone was a hard job. Getting information was fine, but the fight inside me when handing it over-" Severus choked. "I would make whatever potions were required," he managed to get hold of the emotion in his voice again. "However, I won't lie, the information I shared caused deaths, the potions I brewed inflicted pain, or kept people alive so they could feel more pain than a person can bear. I have to live with that."

Then he looked at Remus. "Remus, if you're going to choose to forgive me, you should know what you are forgiving."

The reaction was silence, everyone's eyes were on Severus. It was clear that no one knew how to react to the revelation, including Severus. Everyone expected Lily to be the one to talk, to break the silence and to comfort Severus. She really wanted to say something to help him, she wanted him to feel secure in the forgiveness that they all gave him, and to know it was in no way revoked. None of them, even Sirius, couldn't negate what Severus had done to save Lily and Harry, and that he intended to save James was clear. However Lily didn't know what to say to really express this, there were no words. In a dramatic turn of events, it was Sirius that managed to say something first. He was not overly affectionate like Remus, but it was a genuine effort for Sirius, and all of them knew it, even Severus.

"To be honest Severus," he started. "I expected worse."

Sirius laughed at Severus as he continued, he was gentle and caring.

"You've saved people now, you have at least saved Frank and Alice's lives, no matter what happens. They won't be tortured and killed anymore. You saved Lily and Harry, and you helped me catch four Death Eaters, big ones too," he paused. "Rest assured, I forgive you for what seems to be a foolish choice you made. I can't imagine what it would be like to be stuck there after making such a choice. I, however, need forgiveness for a choice I made over and over again, a choice I continued to make and one I certainly wasn't trapped in."

The actual apology was definitely absent, but the intention and heart were enough to create a little thaw. After all, Rome was not built in a day. It certainly helped to cultivate trust and warmth between them. Acknowledging the part he played in Severus' life, the role he played that led a confused seventeen-year-old boy to look for power. Sirius, like so many others, still felt that there was so much that was down to Severus' own choices, and that it was vital for him to pay for those choices, but this was a start.

"Thank you," Severus mumbled uncharacteristically his head bowed again in shame. This was his real barrier, earning forgiveness was only part of his battle, accepting it was a whole other matter. Then he would have to forgive himself. Lily moved over to him, she lifted up his head, his eyes were still downcast.

"Look at me," she said.

Severus' eyes met hers, she could see his dark eyes were filled with pain, tears resting determined not to fall out.

"You're completely forgiven," she whispered gently. Severus tried to interrupt. "No! It doesn't matter who, and it doesn't matter if I know who you told on. You are always forgiven, you're my best friend, how could I not forgive you?"

She almost dared him to respond as she forced him to look her in the eye, showing him just how she felt, just what she thought of him now. Lily moved closer and wrapped her arms around him and held him. At first, Severus was all stiff and unmoving, and as she pulled him closer, he buried himself in her embrace, unable to shake the shame.

"So," Severus spoke up awkwardly as he gently removed himself from her embrace, removing her hands from around him. "How did you do with the Veritaserum?"

Almost immediately the awkwardness disappeared. Lily settled on the floor by Severus' feet, and Sirius jumped into the story of how he managed to get Lucius to choose the glass that had been dosed. How he had convinced Lucius that it was him who had taken the Veritaserum and managed to confirm that it was Lucius that had drunk it and got him to confess. He then finished with the dramatic tale of how Lucius had mysteriously performed a spell without his wand to commit suicide rather than go to Azkaban.

"It wasn't long after I sent the Patronus to Scrimgeour that I had six more Aurors there for back up. It took a while searching the place. Eventually, Narcissa came back, and when she saw Lucius, she showed us where the cellar is. She swore she had never been a Death Eater, it was just her husband. She said she would take Veritaserum. Obviously, they left it, thinking of the poor child no doubt. Once the cellar was opened we found Frank and Alice, Bellatrix, Rabastan and Rodolphus were still torturing them with another young Death Eater. This is what you will never believe? As far as I know, he has never been suspected!"

"Who?" all three of them asked simultaneously.

"Barty Crouch… Jr!" Sirius almost laughed at the sheer shock on their faces.

"I had no idea, and I knew a lot!" exclaimed Severus.

"How's Barty Sr doing with it all?" Lily asked.

"Not good. Trials are coming up soon, but word is that Barty is refusing to even acknowledge him anymore!"

"I can't even imagine that!" Lily gasped. "To find your child has become the exact opposite of everything you stand for!"

"You get what you put into a child." Everyone was surprised to hear this come from Severus.

"If he has come from a family that is not teaching that belief system, and he has turned away from that upbringing, it's because it was a painful and unhappy upbringing. I didn't have that belief system drummed into me, but I had an angry Muggle father. I wanted to feel powerful because my life was a 'shit biscuit' as my father put it. (He wasn't a very eloquent man) And I found it in the wrong place. I would not be surprised if the same happened to Crouch Jr and I pity him. He would have been in a lot of pain." Severus didn't appear angry or upset by his revelation, he was just his usual stoic self.

They spent the rest of the evening talking and discussing the recent events and the trials that were coming up. Severus would have to stand trial as well, though it would be much smaller, and Dumbledore would be confirming Severus' change of sides before Voldemort fell. They pulled the various situations apart and talked them all back together again.

* * *

 **A/N: Thank you for reading, and I hope you come back to see what condition Frank and Alice are in! If you have liked this story, if you have loved this story, if you want to tell me something that's wrong, there is a thing called a review! DO IT!**


	8. Chapter 7

**A/N: I do not own Harry Potter**

 **This has been re-written, and I hope that you enjoy the changes. It was mainly fixing errors for this chapter, but if you find any, please let me know.**

* * *

Chapter 7 - Miracles

After the news about Frank and Alice, Lily had been filled with anxiety wondering how they were, and if they would recover. Having been told what the chances were by Severus her mind was most certainly ill at ease. As they say, ignorance is bliss. She just stood at the entrance to _St Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries._ To passers-by she looked like she was very interested in the condemned department store. Lily stood transfixed, staring at the mannequins with their questionable outfits. She knew that all her answers were on the other side of the magical door, but staying here meant that there was always a chance that Frank and Alice were okay. Lily was sure that when she passed through the doors, she would find that they were not fine and that they would never recover. She feared yet another tragedy.

"I'll go in… in five more minutes," she whispered to herself.

In her mind's eye, she saw the couple. Lily had looked up to Alice as early as Hogwarts, but she and James had become so close to them once they started at The Order. They were older, they were Aurors. Frank and Alice had taught them so much, they would have never survived as long as they had without them. She focused on the memory of Alice's carefree laugh, it had always amazed her how Alice could switch off from all the evil they were facing, and they would have all gone mad had it not been for her and her antics. She had mainly spent time with James and the boys before Alice had come along. Before the boys had turned up, it was the air-headed Gryffindor-Girls and Severus. The Gryffindor-Girls had not been close friends, and after she lost Sev she hadn't had that close connection again until Alice. Alice had been like a sister in arms, she finally had what James had found in Sirius in someone that wasn't her lost friend, Sev.

"Are you going to stand out there all day love?" the mannequin asked pulling her out of her thoughts.

"Ah yes, sorry."

Lily walked through the barrier and into the main hospital. It looked just like a Muggle hospital, aside from all the robed witches and wizards with their rather peculiar ailments. She found the queue for 'help'. There were only a couple of people in front of her though the hospital floor was buzzing; Healers running here and there with some unknown urgency. They were identified by their lime green robes (that was reason number 1 for not becoming a Healer… the robes would clash horribly with her hair). That was what Alice had said to her anyway, she smiled at the happy memory. It wasn't long before she was stood in front of a severe-looking witch. Apparently, she is 'happy to help'.

"I'm not a Legilimens sweetheart, you need to tell me what you need!" she sounded like she had worked forty-eight hours straight with no sleep to help her mood.

"I'm here to see Frank and Alice Longbottom. I'm not sure where they were sent, there was extensive damage by the Cruciatus Curse."

Her voice was quiet and unsure like there was no turning back from what she might hear, immediately the witches face softened.

"Floor four, dear. Janus Thickey Ward," her tone was now gentle and filled with kindness.

' _Not a good sign at all',_ thought Lily.

She made her way; her thoughts focused on Frank and Alice. Lily's hopes and prayers with them, begging a higher power - any higher power - to save them. Her thoughts turned to their son, Neville. She asked in earnest that he wouldn't be left all alone. As much as she tried to delay the inevitable, she soon arrived at the locked doors of the Janus Thickey Ward. She waited without drawing attention to herself, anything to delay the inevitable, but it didn't take long for someone to let her in.

Lily stood in front of their beds, Frank and Alice lay side by side. Frank seemed to be sleeping deeply. Alice was sat up in the bed staring out of a nearby window, and she seemed to be lost in far-off thoughts.

"Alice," she spoke tentatively.

Lily hoped that her prayers had been answered and that her Alice was still there. Alice turned her head when she saw Lily she smiled weakly. Her face was gaunt, and she looked exhausted, it was clear she had been through a lot.

"Lil," she finally spoke, her voice as weak as she looked.

Lily rushed over and embraced her. "Oh Alice, I was so afraid! But you're okay. You're here." She held the woman close, but gentle. Alice hugged Lily back, but something was lacking. "Are you okay?" Lily questioned, pulling back looking into Alice's eyes.

There were tears just about to fall. "No," Alice whispered. "There was a lot of damage, damage that you can't see," she trailed off.

"Alice, you can tell me anything," she urged comfortingly. "You know when I found out I was a witch, I believed that anything was possible, we just need to find the right spell, the right potion, we can fix anything!" she smiled reassuringly.

"Oh Lily! We can work around so many of the laws of nature that Muggles are used to, but there are laws of nature that even we cannot evade." She smiled at her younger friend. "Lily, the curse has not damaged me physically, and most of my mind is intact. I find some things more difficult, there are things I may have to relearn, and that's okay. But it's damaged my ability to use magic, and I don't think there is anything we can do about that." Alice smiled. She was resigned, and Lily watched as tears silently ran down Alice's cheeks. "And Frank? We don't know what the damage will be, he endured so much!" The lump in her throat cut off her words, she paused and took a breath. "He took so much more damage than me, endured so much longer, I do not know how much of my Frank will be left," she cried as the tears overtook her.

Lily got into the bed next to her and just held her. It took a while before Alice could talk again, they sat there for a long time, Lily holding her. As her friends breathing evened out, her tears dried up, Lily approached the topic again, "What do you know about Frank's condition?" she whispered. Lily was still worried that it might break Alice to think about it, the consequences of her husband's torture.

"Nothing right now, he is still unconscious. We will only find out later."

Lily smiled at her. "See we don't know yet," she spoke a little louder now but with the same gentle tone. "You know, as I walked up here I was so afraid that you wouldn't be okay, that the damage would be too much. I begged and prayed for you and Frank, and when I get up here what I find is so much more than what I expected. Why can that not happen for Frank too? And you still have Neville, he is safe, and he is yours. We're in a world free from Voldemort, we have so much to be thankful for."

"How can you have so much hope?" Alice asked. She wasn't upset, just confused by the young woman who was insistent at a happy ending, especially after what she had gone through lately.

"In the Muggle world, sometimes the laws of nature are broken, and not just because a witch or wizard has intervened. Sometimes, something else intervenes, we call it a miracle. It's something that happens beyond all reason, and no one can explain it, except that maybe a higher power intervened. Why can't a higher power intervene for you?"

Alice smiled. "Really, a miracle?" Alice's hope was finally reignited. "Just like how we were found." She smiled.

"We had a spy!" Lily interjected excitedly. "I can't say who, but he was the one that saved Harry and me. He gave Sirius the information he needed to find you, and he did everything he could to help find you," Lily smiled, thinking of her best friend.

"Not Snape?" Alice questioned.

"What?" Lily asked. She tried to react nonchalantly, but the shock that was displayed on her face was a dead give away.

"You only spoke about two men with that look on your face, James, and when you told me how Snape used to be."

"It's a secret though," she whispered.

"Are you okay? Is it confusing with him being back, and James being gone?" Alice asked concerned.

"No, it's not confusing. Severus has been a huge comfort, but the pain of losing James is constant, there isn't room to be confused about old feelings. I just don't have the space." This time Lily was the one that looked worn, she looked so tired with grief. "I get these moments of happiness, and Severus or Harry usually have something to do with it, but they don't change the way my heart is aching. Sometimes I just have a moment where I realise that he isn't out doing something for The Order. He won't be back in a few days. He's gone. He's really gone," she paused. Lily had needed this, she needed a sister. "Sometimes I feel like I can't grieve. I can't let it out, because I need to be happy and be there for Harry. Harry needs a mum that isn't crying all the time. And Sirius and Remus, they lost him too, and I have to look after them. I know it's cruel to cry in front of Severus. He feels guilty he didn't get to him in time, so I have to smile. And I feel like I might burst."

Alice wrapped her arms around her friend and held her. It seemed like forever, but the time came back to them when a nurse came and told them visiting times were over. Lily left, ensuring Alice that she would be back soon.

* * *

Before long Christmas was approaching. It would be a difficult holiday, the first without James. However, the group of men that had surrounded Lily had already made plans to fill it so it would still feel like a family affair. Sirius was overly intrigued by the idea of an entirely Muggle Christmas, Severus not so much. As he was the primary cook, aside from Lily, he would rather 'magic' a meal than cook something that big from scratch. That was not everyone else's opinion.

"Severus, your food is better than anything I can magic up, Muggle made Christmas dinner sounds great!" Remus was feeling particularly weak and pathetic at the moment as he had just recovered from last night's full moon. They had fourteen days left until Christmas, and he hoped his feeble appearance would convince Severus to give him his wish.

"Obviously," Severus replied, over-enunciating as usual. His sarcastic, dry humour was something they had all been forced to get a handle on. There was a fine line between Severus' dry wit and actual irritation. He had already expressed his opinion on Remus' cooking, with the help of magic and without, both were described as 'abysmal.'

With the loss of James hanging over them, Lily was determined to keep everyone occupied during the holidays. She had been giving them all different tasks to occupy them. Remus was not in any position to leave the house, so he was minding Harry and wrapping presents. Remus struggled to keep Harry occupied without him ruining the wrapping. Thankfully there was a small selection of presents hidden for Remus and Sirius would be wrapping them later.

"Harry!" Remus gently scolded.

He managed to remain in good humour, but he was at his wit's end trying to complete what should have been a simple task. Apparently, children's presents came in lots of weird and wonderful shapes. It didn't help that he was groggy and exhausted, recovering from his last change. Harry having recently started saying Remus' name, did not give him a moment's rest and would clamber all over him.

"'Emus! 'Emus!" Harry shouted, grabbing more and more paper, pulling and ripping it as Remus struggled to wrap some glowing, smoking bath toys. Head in hands, Remus wished that he had been the one doing the shopping!

As Lily was the only one with a Muggle driving licence, she and Severus went to go and get a tree. Sirius had been left with what he felt was the worst job, buying decorations and a list of things that Severus would need for Christmas dinner.

"I think that Severus should do the shopping! It's all his bloody ingredients after all!" Sirius argued. He thought he had made a good case for himself; however, Severus managed to worm his way out of it.

"If I get decorations, they will be black, silver and green. The house will look depressing." Severus smirked at Sirius, knowing that he had already won.

This point alone had left Remus and Lily in Severus' corner, Sirius would do the shopping. With that Lily and Severus went to a local Christmas tree outlet. Severus found the drive slow and irritating, but Lily enjoyed the Christmas tunes and sang along the entire way.

"I forgot how much you loved this…insufferable holiday!" Severus barked. There was no smile on his face, but you could hear it in his voice. The hidden joy had nothing to do with the songs, the car, or the holiday, but it had everything to do with her happiness. Lily didn't even gauge his response, she was too busy singing 'I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus'. Severus' shook his head, smiling at her. He was strongly reminded of the last christmas that they had shared, when she had sang carols as they studied for their exams in their fifth year, he had had no idea it would be his last christmas with her.

They pulled into a large park filled with Christmas Trees. Lily dragged Severus who had already been forced to don Muggle wear, but now he would suffer through picking a tree too. Severus, however, looked much cooler in Muggle clothes than he ever did in his bat-like wizarding robes. He had kept to the same dark colours, black straight jeans, with pointed black shoes, a black t-shirt, with a dark grey blazer. He wore a long somewhat wizarding robe-like coat and a very long chunky black scarf. Severus looked more like the frontman from a punk band than the professor at a prestigious wizarding school. Lily had remarked that it was amazing how the same sense of style seemed to have different connotations in the two societies; with the Muggles he was dark, mysterious, and cool, yet the wizarding world found him imposing, menacing, and scary. Lily looked just perfect in Severus' opinion; she wore fitted jeans with a baggy t-shirt, a big coat and a scarf. It was just average really, but the way the wind blew her beautiful auburn around her face and the way she smiled took his breath away. Lily grabbed his hand and pulled him into the midst of all the trees.

"This one?" Severus questioned at literally the first tree he saw.

"Severus," she spoke seriously. "This is supposed to be fun; you've got to take your time, even if you see the perfect tree straight away." He looked at her like she was speaking a foreign language.

"You know what it's like," she commented matter of factly.

Severus shrugged.

"It's like when you go to the Apothecary, you take your time, and you smell all the stinking guts and things, and then you choose the one that's just the stinkiest," she joked, nudging him with her elbow.

"I literally just point at what I want." He kept his face straight, he knew it made her giggle, that had been their jam, she was happy, fun and full of life, and he was her straight-laced partner in crime.

And of course, she laughed. It was more than he hoped for, he had hoped she would be able to see the 'old' Snape enough to allow him to protect her and Harry. To be considered a friend was out of the question in his mind, and yet now here he was, almost as if he was her best friend all over again, but he dared not hope. Linking arms with him, she pulled him further into the Christmas Forest. He looked around for the most pathetic looking trees.

"This little guy." He pointed at a brown and scrawny dehydrated looking tree.

"Awww!" she squealed delightedly, just as he had expected. "He looks so sad Sev, and we could make his Christmas!" She then pulled him away. "But I think not-"

"I think this one is up Sirius' street?" he suggested, still straight-faced.

Lily giggled again, and he tried to keep his face neutral. It was the simplest things that made him happy, had he heard that sound each and every morning when he woke, he would never have had to go to the Dark Lord, he would have been fulfilled enough!

"Severus," she asked seriously. "Do you really think a fake, hot-pink tree is what would make Sirius' Christmas truly special?"

"Yes," he added with a serious frown. "He'd be too embarrassed to admit it, but-" he trailed off as she giggled yet again.

"I don't think that's fair on Remus!" she added.

"Nah, when he sees Sirius' eyes light up, that will make his Christmas special!" He smiled waggling his eyebrows suggestively.

Then he pulled her along, and this is how it went until they found a beautiful tree that Lily loved. Severus had paid close attention to a task he truly hated, all for her smile. He hoped it would help her forget that this is the first Christmas without the man she truly loved, even though he still hated that very same man. In the end, he had managed to find her a beautiful Christmas tree, like something out of those silly movies she had been watching so much lately. He bore the brunt of the lifting and heaved it on to the roof of the car himself, he did it all the Muggle way too. What would he do for Lily? As he told Dumbledore that fateful night, anything.

* * *

The next day was Christmas Eve. Severus was back home for good, he wasn't sure when he had started to refer to it as home, but he had. Spinners End held very little sentimentality for him, and as such it seemed like an easy transition. Remus, Lily and Sirius had decorated the house perfectly while Severus had been prepping his food, and by the time they were finished it looked like the Christmas fairy had vomited all over the place. Severus, in the end, was happier with that, the intense giddiness of decorating and spoiling Harry was overbearing for him, and some distance was truly appreciated.

Severus also craved distance from Lily. He realised that he had it good - for the moment. But he knew, or rather assumed, that it would all come crashing down soon enough. Yesterday, getting a silly tree had been too good, too happy. It couldn't last, and so to limit the damage he put distance between Lily and himself. With the bout of joy, there was the sudden rush of old feelings, feelings he knew had always been there and would never be reciprocated. How could they? These feelings had spurred him on to reject Voldemort, but he continually reminded himself that he gave the intelligence that caused James Potter's death. No, the feelings would never, ever be returned. Feeling them, acknowledging them was agony, it was like watching her start dating Potter all over again.

The tree was decorated in red and gold, Gryffindor colours. Sirius even managed to find baubles with lions on them for the tree. Harry at this point was walking about fairly confidently, he could say 'Siri'' and ''Emus' as well, and they never tired of hearing it. Harry didn't quite understand the tree but he did find it interesting. He was often found sat there looking at the lights, and they would twinkle, or he would cause the baubles to float. As he grew, he learned many little bits of magic, and as they all cheered whenever he did something he only continued to sit and wait for 'accidents' to happen. They had music on in the background and played until Harry fell asleep from pure exhaustion.

The adults themselves settled with Christmas drinks, but it wasn't long after Harry had gone to bed that Lily felt James' absence. She found her smiles becoming forced, and she hated being around them all. She made her excuses and went to bed, and cried herself to sleep. Without Lily around, the person that connected Sirius and Remus with Severus, they too slowly drifted off to bed. Severus was last, wrapping up the few presents that he had got for everyone and placing them under the tree for the morning.

* * *

Christmas day soon arrived, the morning was spent in pyjamas around the tree. Sirius had made a beautiful breakfast of pancakes - probably using magic - there were an assortment of toppings and none of them healthy. As soon as presents came out, they lay forgotten soon hidden by copious amounts of wrapping paper. Lily sat right by the tree with Harry on her lap, and they handed him his presents. Harry soon learned to pull off the paper and if he cheered people were happy. After Harry had opened all of his gifts, he walked his way across the room and picked up his trusty wand to play with, ignoring all the bright and shiny new toys.

Severus kept himself to one side, in the shadows for most of the morning. Eventually, he pulled out a collection of presents, neatly wrapped in green paper with silver ribbon. They were all the exact shape and size, except for one.

"A little something." Severus handed out the packages, and the extra, slightly larger present was given to Lily also.

They all tore off the packaging to find that they each had a small leather notebook, their names printed in gold.

"Thanks," said Sirius directly, and placing it to one side.

"I have one that's identical," Severus continued. "I felt that in the coming years a method of discreet communication would be needed." Remus opened his notebook and found a bottle of ink and quill. "Any message you write in your notebook to any of the others will appear in their notebook. Once the message has been read it will disappear, each book can also only be ready by its owner."

Remus began writing a message in his notebook, a mischievous smile on his face.

"The other one is for Harry," Severus explained, wringing his hands together nervously. "It is more for putting memories in - you take photos a lot," he finished somewhat lamely.

"Mine just warmed up!" Lily opened the book to see a message from Remus. "Merry Christmas, Rosylocks," she read aloud. "I love it!" she giggled, leaning over she hugged Severus, giving him a gift from herself. "And you're right, these will be very useful," she whispered into his robes as she hugged him deeply.

He pulled off the paper and found a potions book, but not just any, it was a First Edition, which is much more impressive in the wizarding world, of 'Moste Potente Potions' - Severus' face said it all, it was an incredibly rare find. "Lily-" he gasped. "It's-" he stuttered again. "Wonderful!" he exclaimed.

"You're welcome," she smiled.

Severus couldn't take his eyes of hers. He was completely in awe at Lily's goodness, and her ability to forgive was overwhelming. At that moment he wondered if maybe, just maybe they would remain friends, and this wouldn't fall apart.

"The potions ingredients I got are gonna look sh-" Sirius was quickly silenced by Remus. They both handed Severus their presents, an assortment of rarer ingredients.

"Thank you." Severus was in shock. He hadn't expected a thing from either of them.

He wondered how on earth Remus had managed to get his hands on Acromantula Venom, and there was no way that Sirius could brew 'Felix Felicis', which cost an arm and a leg to buy. Severus looked truly grateful. The others exchanged their gifts; Sirius and Remus had worked together on a locket that had her and James' images magically engraved on the inside, and as with all magical images they moved and smiled, though unfortunately, not much more.

"Thank you," she choked, a single tear fell down her cheek.

Lily immediately put the locket around her neck and touched it affectionately. The room was silent, everyone in the room thinking of the one that was missing. Even Severus, who had to admit that seeing James' sacrifice for his family had changed his opinion - slightly. Severus was _slightly_ less bitter, _slightly_ less angry. Severus imagined that this was Lily's influence, without her his hatred would likely grow. Her goodness and warmth soothed him and made him a better man.

Lily had bought Sirius and Remus season tickets for her favourite Quidditch team, the only all-female line up; The Holyhead Harpies! This was still appreciated by the boys, but the jokes about girls playing a man's sport were made - they were somewhat obligatorily.

The day managed to pass with much more comfort than Lily could have hoped for. She missed James terribly, and when she saw Harry playing with a toy broom, or snuggled up in a Quidditch blanket, her only though was that James was missing precious moments. At the most random moment she would feel the pull on her heart and needed a moment. There were moments when she sought privacy to shed a tear. However, Lily wasn't alone, and that was all that she could be thankful for.

* * *

After the holidays, Severus was back at Hogwarts, and he started to get into the swing of his new life; being a teacher, being in The Order. He didn't see Lily as much as he would like anymore, and he found teaching to be demanding. Severus was strict and pushed his students, meaning that he would often have many essays to mark and potions to test. Severus was also spending an incredible amount of his spare time in detentions with students. He enjoyed the simple life of planning a complex lesson for each year group, and though he would never admit it, he also enjoyed punishing students, it felt like a good outlet for the natural sadistic streak.

He found students struggled with his style of teaching after Professor Slughorn. Slughorn had been a man that doted on the best and ignored the worst. Severus found he operated quite differently, he would dole out his criticisms to those that failed to get better results, hopefully urging them to better themselves, and he refused to dote on those that had done well. Frivolous praise wasn't something that he had agreed with. He also found that choosing a student that was particularly inept to put most of the pressure on spurred some of the other students to try harder, lest they are the ones that gain the feared professor's disapproval. It was not long before he had a somewhat fearsome reputation.

It wasn't until a supervised study session in the Great Hall that he realised just how much of a reputation he had. Severus roamed the room, with his black robes billowing behind him, a look that was already being considered a signature. He found that any area of the hall that he was in would become silent. It was almost a challenge to catch those not doing work, and most students were smart enough, or too cowardly to disturb the quiet, but the Gryffindors could be a bit braver, or maybe they were stupid? There was a group of Gryffindor sixth-years that were particularly bothersome.

"I just think if we were able to take a more aggressive stance, we could beat Slytherin," a taller skinnier boy said.

He was the seeker and captain if Severus remembered rightly. He stood behind them waiting. Severus hovered, listening as the conversation progressed. "I don't know mate - I think it's best to play smart, Slytherin has pretty much gone thug over brains this year," a stockier beater looking boy added.

"I think you should work on this potions assignment," Severus interrupted. "By the looks of that essay, you'll be lucky to get 'Poor,' though most likely 'Troll'," he continued, overstating the final word. They hadn't been aware that he was stood right behind them watching, their faces drained of all colour. This was what Severus considered a success.

Thinking he had walked away, the students put their heads down as though working. "You know my dad said that he was a Death Eater! He fed Dumbledore some crap so he would vouch for him," the skinnier boy whispered.

"That would be Professor Dumbledore to you, and report to me every Friday evening for detention," he paused, musing how many Fridays he wanted to give up. "For the next month." And with that Severus turned on his heel and walked away.

Severus didn't really know how he felt about the rumours. He knew that they were useful if people believed he conned Albus, then if The Dark Lord rises his cover is likely to remain intact. However, the constant taint of his past made him feel uneasy, unable to escape from it. If he could never avoid it, how could Lily? He felt sure it was a sign that he would never be able to keep what he had been able to regain since The Dark Lord's fall.

Severus found that he didn't have a good relationship with staff either, initially most of them believed much as the students did. It felt very much like his only ally was the man that was back and forth to the Ministry; Albus Dumbledore. As time went on, he found that various teachers warmed to him. The Defence Against the Dark Arts professor seemed somewhat suspicious, and although he didn't know it, Professor McGonagall had shared suspicions with Professor Dumbledore. She had then been made privy to some information about Severus. She had warmed to him somewhat after that. They were not what he would call friends, but colleagues that were able to work well together, and even have civilised discussions about school life and how things were run. Many of the teachers were what Severus would describe as soft, not Minerva, she was just as strict as he was at times. Though he had to admit she had a proclivity to go easy on students on occasion, she had often tried to explain this, but the only reply Severus offered was a curt look and a raised eyebrow.

After the first year at Hogwarts, he found that he received a healthy level of both respect and fear from his students. He had reasonable working relationships, and at the end of the year the Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher had a nervous breakdown and quit. Severus heard that it had something to do with a Death Eater on staff. Dumbledore would only say that the job was 'cursed'. This was an idea that he had not admitted to anyone else. As they were coming up to the summer holidays, Severus called on the professor to discuss the position.

"Albus, I have come to discuss the Defence Against the Dark Arts position."

Severus sat in front of the Headmaster in his circular office, the portraits of various Headteachers mounted around stared at him curiously. Severus was aware that the paintings were loyal to whichever Headmaster was there, he felt slightly at odds that all these portraits knew his history and his current situation. All of these great wizards and witches, he wondered what they thought as they looked down on him.

"It is out of the question of course," Albus replied simply. "I have told you that the post is cursed. Each year - without fail - I lose that member of staff in one way or another, and at this time I need to keep you in Hogwarts."

"I would understand, professor, if you felt that job was too big a temptation for me. I can assure you that it is not! I have picked my side, I won't be lured back to the Dark Arts, but I am most qualified for the post!" Severus continued, as he eyed Albus. Severus clearly didn't buy the 'this job is cursed' story.

"I agree, wholeheartedly," Albus replied, his blue eyes looking straight at Severus, and the truth evident. "Trust is _not_ the issue, I would trust you with my life, Severus. However, that does not change that Tom Riddle cursed the job when I refused to give it to him." Albus hoped that Severus could believe him, but he knew that trust would not come easily, there were so many open wounds. "When I am certain the post is safe, I promise it will be yours," he smiled.

The final weeks of the school year passed without incident, he had exam papers to collect and his final lessons to teach, but overall it was much more relaxed. The decision had already been made to mark all his final grades in the first week of the holidays. So much had changed over the last eight months, and he found himself, while quite the same Severus he had always been, more looking forward to going back to the house where he had been stationed to protect. Some things would need to be focused on, like finding Peter Pettigrew. Perfecting the child's safety, though it seemed that everyone else had relaxed on this front. Death Eaters were mostly caught or dead, and there was no word on where Voldemort was, the world was at peace again. He worried that given the circumstance he would be relegated to the sidelines until the danger was close by again.

Outside of Hogwarts there was progress also; Frank was awake, and while his loss was more significant, he was able to go home with Alice after two months of rehabilitation. Alice was able to start using magic again, but she would only ever be able to perform simple spells. The Healer told them that the curse causes pain, but only in the mind and the soul, and so that is where the damage is. Frank and Alice had received the most damage to the part of the brain that was connected to their magical understanding, and to the soul, which carries the magical ability. Unfortunately, it would be virtually impossible to rebuild as the damage was so extensive, but Alice was told she could try. Frank was not so lucky, he was virtually a Muggle, or a Squib as he would put it. His loss had extended to his memory, which was now fairly weak; initially he had to be reminded that he had Neville. Thankfully, after a while things began to stick, however, the families lives would never be the same again. Alice had clung to Lily's words of hope, and found solace in the simple facts that she has a healthy family, and although they were not particularly magical anymore, there was nothing wrong with that.

Remus had started to look healthier after nearly a year on the wolfsbane potion. He and Severus spoke eagerly about looking at possible improvements to the tonic. Severus wondered if he would be able to use the potion, or a version of the potion to heal victims just after they were bitten. This new area of study had developed Remus and Severus' relationship. Remus placed his trust in Severus' hands each and every month, and Severus started to feel like he might have something like a friend in Remus, finding they had more common ground. Remus was mediocre where potions were concerned, but Severus found he was a highly intelligent man and that he had a lot to bring the research.

Sirius was still another matter. The trust had not been an issue since he helped with Frank and Alice. However, there were a lot of personality clashes, a lot of ways to rub each other up the wrong way. Both still held on to past resentments, and the history seemed to be too great to move past. For Severus, there was still a lot of pain, which was a huge barrier for him changing how he reacted to Sirius, and his ability to let go.


	9. Chapter 8

**A/N: I do not own Harry Potter**

 **Thanks for waiting, and I know me, re-writing all these old chapters is going to be arduous for a lot of the readers that were here from the start! I do hope you have not abandoned dear Severus and Lily; they will need you!**

 **For those that are only up to this chapter, you may get a little glimpse of romance! I genuinely hope you enjoy this chapter, and I hope its better for the editing I have been doing.**

* * *

The Tale of Babbitty Rabbitty

It was the morning before Harry's second birthday, the thirtieth of July. Things had settled down more in the wizarding world, but that wasn't something that Lily and the others were supposed to be interested in. They had gone 'Full-Muggle', well, for the most part! Sirius and Remus were hunting Peter, and the trail seemed only to get colder and harder to follow. This would sometimes lead them into the wizarding world, but they believed that Peter wouldn't want to draw attention to himself; therefore he was likely surviving as a rat in the wild, or even trying to make it as a Muggle. The latter was far less likely, as they figured he wouldn't be too good at play acting Muggle and that he would stick out like a sore thumb. Severus would roll his eyes at such comments and Lily was fed up of everyone underestimating Peter, and demanded that they looked into it.

Severus was primarily in the wizarding world as he worked at Hogwarts. This is where they got most of their news, as they weren't even allowed to get the Daily Prophet delivered. Severus had charmed the home, so Owls were unable to find it. This was shortly after a lecture on the many ways someone could attack you via a simple spell on a small piece of parchment! It was a lucky day for Lily when he would bring a copy back with him. Sirius had tried to convince him to get a subscription for them at Hogwarts, but this was only met with a look of disdain.

Due to the many and varied rules and regulations that Severus had put in place, the plan was to have a very Muggle birthday for Harry. Lily wanted to make it special as Severus would be going back to Hogwarts in a month. Things had changed, they – meaning Remus and Lily – would miss him, though Sirius was another story. They could still end up at each other's throats, and Severus could be tough to like sometimes; he was still the same cold, harsh man that he had always been. He had that soft centre, though it only seemed to peep out on rare occasions, and mostly it was just for Lily.

Sirius was supposed to be doing the shopping for Harry's birthday today and buying his present, everyone else was ready and already gotten gifts, but Sirius was always a lot more lax about things. He was even lax about shopping, he was getting fed up of the Muggle life and wanted to make Harry's party something special. Now part of Harry's protection was to keep him away from the wizarding world. Harry would, of course, grow up knowing he was a wizard, but Lily had decided to shield him from two things; his fame and those that would seek to harm him. However Sirius didn't think about these things, he thought about the best present he could get, Sirius thought about the best kids party he could think of, he thought about getting away from this Muggle life. This is why Sirius took a two-year-old Harry to Diagon Alley.

It was in Quality Quidditch Supplies that Sirius failed to stay on the ball. He was so busy looking at the latest broom in the Nimbus series, he didn't notice the invisibility cloak slip off Harry's pram, Sirius was in a world of his own, he wasn't watching as a young ginger-haired boy noticed the little baby, his eyes bulged when he saw the scar on the toddlers face.

"Dad! Dad! It's Harry Potter!" he shouted.

The little ginger boys entire family turned round to see Sirius Black—famed auror—pushing a pram which appeared to be floating due to the invisibility cloak being wrapped around the wheels. Inside the pram was a sleeping Harry Potter the scar on his forehead there for all to see. That was when Sirius completely lost control of the situation, and people everywhere wanted photos of The Boy Who Lived.

"It's Harry Potter, everyone!"

Shouts came from everywhere, and there was more pushing and shoving, and now coming from every direction. Sirius was finally aware of what was going on, and perhaps that he did not have control of the situation. This did not stop the many more interested witches and wizards from pushing to get closer to Harry, and it was getting more and more difficult to see who was vying for Harry's attention. It didn't take long before Harry was in tears, and Sirius was unable to get to the front of the pram to comfort him. It was then that a very motherly red headed witch—seemingly the mother of the first ginger child—picked Harry up to soothe him.

"Oh dear, hush-hush," she soothed, but it was no use, and Harry would not settle.

More people swarmed, clambering to get a look at the miraculous child, only now Harry was more upset and even more exposed.

"Excuse me!" Sirius shouted, but in all the commotion she wasn't able to hear him. "Excuse me!" he bellowed this time and was finally able to get the attention of the woman. "Outside!" he directed the woman, it was as polite as he could manage while being as irritated as he was at this point. He gestured wildly to the door—all to make his intentions abundantly clear—hoping he could get this under control.

Back outside, the situation did not improve it worsened. Harry, was adored and despised in equal measure—depending on your political views, that is—and many felt that if only they could get rid of Harry Potter, then they would get their Dark Lord back. The street became more and more hectic, as more people became aware that _the_ Harry Potter was in Diagon Alley. It was in the midst of the fuss that a man took Harry from the middle-aged, ginger woman. Sirius had just caught sight of him when he rounded the corner with Harry; it was none other than Igor Karkaroff, a known Death Eater that had wormed his way out of Azkaban. Sirius' heart stopped as he watched the man walking away with his Godson.

* * *

Severus was in his study, sorting out his lesson plans and packing all the essentials for his return to Hogwarts. He was absent-minded in his packing and musing about young Harry's party; although he found it hard tto admit this openly Severus would—very discreetly—show that he cared for the child. Harry was delightful, happy and completely innocent, and it was hard to watch someone who was completely innocent without a strong affection growing; that is what Severus had—a strong affection. He delighted in thinking up new substances—bubble shapes and smokes—to have come from the boys pretend wand, and he was always on hand to remind Lily of the camera that they had been using to mark important milestones. Severus took delight in developing the pictures himself and watching the little boy move through the motions of various milestones while he waited for them to be ready to share. It wasn't just Harry that he did this for; he loved the look in her eyes when she accepted them, or even the look on her face in an evening when she would flick through the pictures with a cup of tea and a delicate smile. It wasn't the big moments that Severus craved with Lily, but all the little ones sewn together, and they made the most beautiful tapestry. It was a new everyday life that he had somehow found himself sharing with her, and it changed him dramatically.

It was in the middle of this musing that he felt the small notebook in his breast pocket heat up. He thought it must be more inane messages between Sirius and Remus, they had really not grasped the concept of the notebooks. He had thought the last time that he had spoken to them that they would get it and pack it in, at least that was the impression that he was left with. Severus initially ignored the heat, but it became hotter and hotter, something that it was only supposed to do in an emergency. This was triggered by adding the British Muggle emergency number—999—not something that was known amongst wizards, but this is what made it the perfect SOS code for them. Finally ,he couldn't ignore it anymore, after all, what if something had happened to Sirius or Remus? Severus had in some ways grown to —not care—but it would bother him if they suffered a painful death. He pulled the small leather booklet from his pocket and opened it:

' _999! I need help! Harry has been taken by Igor Karkaroff. HELP! I don't know what to do, or where to find him!'_

Severus was quick to form a plan, but he also needed a way to keep his cover while he got the child. Within a few moments he sent instructions to both Sirius and Lupin, and then he apparated to where he knew the child would be being kept. Malfoy Manor was the centre for all things Death Eater these days, and since Lusicus' death, Igor had been circling Narcissa. This was the kind of information that Severus needed to know to uphold his cover, and keep the news coming in; for instance, Igor was now in control of the Malfoy estate until the child became of age. It all boiled down to the fact that Malfoy money needed to stay in the right circles, and Narcissa was not a Death Eater herself. He walked through the gates purposefully, all he could think of was the last time he had passed through those gates; he had been desperate to save Lily's life. Severus couldn't think like that though; Igor was quite a formidable Legilimens—even if not as dangerous as the Dark Lord—so he needed to keep his mind completely locked down. Knocking on the front door, he waited.

"Severus," Narcissa remarked in a sweet voice as she opened the heavy door.

She was dressed all in black, and her hair was held up elegantly; it was ice blonde much like her deceased husband, Lucius. Narcissa had a snowy complexion with bright blue eyes, and she was stunningly beautiful—tall and slim—though she had a cold, harsh look about her. She held open her arms in welcome.

"Come in."

"I must talk to Igor, Narcissa," Severus enquired urgently. "I have heard that he kidnapped the Potter boy!" He walked straight past her into the entrance hall, and stood there waiting. Narcissa looked at him confused and did not make effort to fetch Igor "It is urgent, Narcissa! Now!" he stressed.

"It's a good thing that we have the boy! Igor believes—as did my sister before she was sent to Azkaban—that the child's death will help us to bring back the Dark Lord!" Narcissa didn't even flinch at the idea of taking a child's life.

"So, you have no issue killing a child not much younger than your own son, Draco?" He looked directly into her eyes, her face was unsure for a moment.

"This is war, Severus," was her only reply.

"Exactly, do you think that the Order is that careless with Harry? Do you think he has the real child? Or maybe—just maybe—it's a trap! You know Sirius Black, and he is determined to tack down any remaining supporters! Black is barbaric, he is after the head of any and every Death Eater! Do you think that he believes you're not a Death Eater? According to him, being married to one is just as bad, and finding the Potter child—or whoever the child Igor has is—will only give him cause to arrest you! He is out for our blood, and anyone that can lead him to the spy that sold out Potter!" He spoke with so much conviction that he almost believed it himself.

Severus' mind was completely sealed, though he felt probing on the edges of his mind. It was common place for suspicious Death Eaters to have such barriers, so he was not too concerned, more annoyed and irritated by the intrusion. "Narcissa," he warned. "Don't even try it," he said with disdain.

"Are you sure about your intelligence?" she asked.

"I overheard Black planning it with Dumbledore, but I didn't think there was anyone stupid enough to take the bait! I can't always give you the scoop to get you out of these messes; he would know that I was untrustworthy. The old fool doesn't trust me yet, and I need to be able to earn some good will to be in a position to help the Dark Lord when he does return," Severus continued his tirade in his usual drawl.

"What do we do?" she asked.

"We remove the child immediately. I will take him, and hopefully, Dumbledore doesn't suspect me. I can get the child back to Diagon Alley, and maybe abandon it near Knockturn Alley? It would seem that whoever had taken the child realised their mistake, and left the child before going too far!"

"The child may die in the cold Severus!" Narcissa exclaimed. Now that the child was no longer an instrument to get the Dark Lord back her motherly instincts kicked in just as Severus had hoped.

"This is a war, Narcissa, there are casualties," he replied coldly. It was in that sentence that his fearsome reputation was intact.

Narcissa clicked her fingers, and a small house elf arrived. "Dobby, you will fetch me, Igor, this moment."

The little elf disapperated immediately, and within a matter of minutes he was stood there yet again with Igor, and in Igor's arms was a small child, Harry. Severus held out his arms, expecting the child.

"What is the meaning of this?" he questioned, refusing to hand over the child.

"Igor, it is a trap! This is not even the real Harry Potter. They have some sort of tracking spell on the brat and the Aurors will be here soon! The child needs to disappear now, or you will be in Azkaban—again! I highly doubt Narcissa will escape this time." Severus was beginning to get irate, and more than a little impatient. He needed to be out of there quick, otherwise, he would be stuck playing Death Eater when Sirius and Remus arrived.

"Prove it," Igor contested.

Severus felt his mind being probed, and he carefully revealed a memory—completely handcrafted—showing Sirius and Albus discussing decoys, but only a taste.

"Get out of my head!" he barked at Karkaroff.

Severus removed a hand from his robes—where there had been a powerful disillusionment potion of his own making—and he wiped Harry's forehead, and the scar disappeared.

"It is not the child," he continued curtly, and then he took the child from Karakoffs arms.

He held the child tightly and apparated on the spot. He appeared almost instantly in his study, and in his arms lay a very disturbed—and somewhat nauseous—Harry, and as quickly as it disappeared, the scar reappeared. Severus had known that apparating with the child would be risky, but he needed to get away soon for the child's far greater good.

 _Harry is safe! You can storm Malfoy Manor, but remember to stick to the story—the child was a decoy.'_

Severus was now stuck with a child that had puked all over his black robes, and the rest of them had already been packed. Harry cried all the more, it seems that the discomfort from apparating had been far too much for the toddler—more troublesome than Severus had expected. Harry looked up at the man holding him, tears were pouring down his little face, and he reached up with his arms desperate for some affection. As the house was empty Severus was the only one there to comfort him, and he relinquished and pulled the little boy to his chest and rocked him from side to side. Severus walked around the house pulling many of the child's favourite toys, but nothing seemed to work; eventually, Severus started to read to Harry.

 _A long time ago, in a land far far away, a King decided to keep all the magic in the world for himself. To get all the magic, he needed to gather all the witches and wizards in the world, so he formed the Brigade of Witch-Hunters, and armed them with packs of wild dogs. But first, he needed to learn_ how _to use magic, so he calls for someone with magical abilities to teach him. However, none would respond! A Muggle pretended to be a wizard and offered to show the King, despite not knowing any magic himself._

 _Soon, the Muggle teacher begins to demand money and treasures for his services, and he hid everything that the king gave him in his small house. Babbitty—the King's washerwoman—hid and watched as the Muggle pulled two twigs from a tree then later pretended that they were wands._

 _When the King and the Muggle were practising, they heard Babbitty laughing hysterically from her cottage. This enraged the King, who demanded that the Muggle help him perform in front of his subjects, and he would show them that he was a master of magic. The Muggle tried to back out saying he had leave town, and wouldn't be able to help. The King threatened to send the Brigade of Witch-Hunters after him, and if anyone laughed while the King performed, he promised that he would behead the Muggle. The Muggle headed to Babbitty's house, where he spied on her, discovering that she is a_ real _witch. He asked her to help him, as desperate as he was, he said that if she didn't, he would expose her._

 _Amused, Babbitty agreed to help out the poor Muggle. He told Babbitty to hide in the bush the following day, and she was to make it seem as if the King himself can do magic. While they performed, the crowd was astonished by the disappearance of a hat and a levitating horse! Things took a turn for the worst when one of the members of the brigade asked the King to bring his dead dog back to life. The King tried, but Babbitty did nothing—knowing that no magic can raise the dead. The crowd laughed at the King, and the King in his rage demanded to know why the spell wasn't working. The Muggle pointed to the bush and said that there was a wicked witch blocking his spell. Babbitty runs from the bush, and when the hounds chase after her she 'disappeared,' leaving the dogs to bark up at a tree._

 _The Muggle told the crowd that Babbitty had turned into the tree and that it had to be cut down because she was an 'evil' witch. The crowd went wild, and the tree was cut down. As the crowd started to leave, they heard a cackling coming from the stump. Babbitty told the group that real wizards and witches could not be cut in half, and then to prove the Muggles deception, she said that they should cut the Muggle in half to prove it. The Muggle confessed that he was a fraud! Babbitty, enraged by the King's actions, told the crowd that the he was cursed, and from that day on the King would feel an axe stroke for every witch or wizard that was harmed in his name._

 _The King had no choice but to make a proclamation declaring that witches and wizards were protected and that they must not be harmed. Babbitty demanded a statue be built of herself, to remind everyone of what had been decreed. The King promised it would be done and erected a statue of her made of solid gold. Soon after, an old rabbit appeared out of a hole at the base of the old tree stump with a wand in its mouth. Babbitty had been hiding in her Animagus form, and she did not hesitate to leave the kingdom. Many years after, the statue of Babbitty remained on top of the stump, and no witch or wizard was ever hurt in that kingdom ever again._

Harry was soon asleep, and content in Severus' arms. Too nervous about waking the child, he took him upstairs and placed him in his crib upstairs. Severus waited for Sirius, and he had already decided that he would be hearing it tonight; the anger he felt was protective, and stemmed from the duty he held after promising Lily he would do anything to protect the child. Severus was angry that the child had to go through the ordeal and angry with the worry he felt as he wondered if he would be too late. Severus was furious.

The following day was wonderful, and they spoiled Harry; he got a mountain of presents, cake, and peek a boo had been replaced with a day full of hide and seek. Harry's wand was now able to spew out petals—lily petals to be precise—this meant that the entire floor was coated with soft white petals. Despite the thought behind it, Lily was not thanking Severus for that one. A few short weeks after Harry's birthday it was time for Severus to go back to Hogwarts, it had been a long holiday and Lily had loved every moment of it.

Severus had lots of work to do, and had left it much later than he should have. They had a goodbye meal on a late evening in mid August, and Severus had sent his trunk ahead of him. He stood in the large kitchen, the kitchen where he was used to cooking for the strange ragtag family that had evolved over the last year, but only Lily was there to say goodbye. She hugged him tightly—longer than usual—but a part of her didn't want to let go. Her arms lingered around his back, she looked into his eyes and felt all the warmth and affection that this man had for her, and then with a pang of guilt, she removed herself completely. He looked at her—always keeping his heart locked-down—and fought the urge to brush away that tendril of hair that was in her face. Severus imagined he would caress her face, feeling her soft skin, and lean in for a kiss goodbye, but instead he took a small hand-full of Floo powder and was gone in an instant.

* * *

Lily found that she missed Severus more than she thought she would. It had been a long two months, and she now found herself facing October thirty-first on her own; Remus and Sirius had finally got a good lead on Peter's whereabouts. They had apologised but were unwilling to let the lead go to waste. Knowing that she would, in fact, be alone ,she set to getting Harry settled to bed early, being busy was the order of the night. There were so many things that she would be able to do; cleaning the house, washing and ironing everyone's robes, organising the kitchen cupboards, organising Severus' potion ingredients, and then there was a bottle of red wine with her name on it. She would be able to settle down to some good old fashion Muggle TV, drink up and fall asleep. The idea is that her mind would not have time to dwell on the anniversary of her husbands.

So with her evening decided, Lily had stormed through the house cleaning and polishing everything. It was as she was collecting used robes for the wash that she heard the Floo and the familiar voice that accompanied the green flames. There in the hearth stood someone who would change the direction of her night; Severus Snape. It was completely natural, he saw her sorting through a pile of robes and placing them in two different baskets, lights and darks, and simply joined her in the task.

"So how are your classes?" Lily eventually interrupted the comfortable silence.

"Terrible, just like last year," his deadpan voice replied, though there was a slight smile if you knew where to look. "I'd much rather be here, sorting through Sirius' dirty draws!" he glanced at her, she smiled glad to have some company, and even better company than she had hoped for.

"Well, I am living the life then! There is nothing I love more than slaving over three men and one baby!" she chuckled easily.

"I have a house of about of seventy hormonal, teenage imbeciles," he sneered, he paused for a moment and raised an eyebrow. "Beat that," he continued.

"And that's just your house, let's not add all those irritating Gryffindors that you simply _must_ deduct points from," she giggled, adding the clothes to the washer while Severus had started magically drying and folding those that came out.

"Life is such a hardship!" he smiled at her, a rare full smile, meant only for her.

"So how about a glass of wine? Can you with classes tomorrow?" she asked putting the powder in the machine and set it going.

"I have first years in the morning," he scowled. "Honestly, I think wine is a requirement." Severus pulled out two glasses, and it wasn't long before they were on the couch a glass in hand.

"Why did you come tonight?" Lily asked nervously

"I didn't think you should be alone," he said simply, looking directly into her eyes.

Despite the smile on her face, the fear of how she would feel tonight was clearly displayed. She was by no means an Occlumens, and without using any of Legilimens skills, he could see every thought and feeling—at least he thought he could.

"Thank you," she said, smiling. "I really needed someone tonight." Lily sounded so unsure to Severus, but the look in her eyes was thankful for his presence. "I think I wanted to ignore it, but I know I can't. I don't want to spend my life stuck grieving," she paused, her eyes spoke of her fear and uncertainty. "Is that awful, that I want to move on after just a year?" And there it was, she was stuck between wanting to move forward, and the fear that doing so was a disservice to the man she still loved.

"You can move forward and still honour him," Severus replied. "Anyone who expects anything less is not worth the hassle." He pulled her into his side on the couch and held her there, her head nestled under his chin. Severus thought about a kissing her on her forehead, second-guessing himself, he stopped.

"What man could accept that Severus?" Lily asked, her voice almost cracking with the emotion of it all. "Knowing that James would always be a part of my life, no matter how much time passes?" she asked, leaning into his embrace.

"One that understands your worth," he whispered in her ear. The silent 'me', was added in his mind, too afraid to speak the words out loud.

They sipped their wine in silence, and Lily moved a little closer, wrapping her spare arm round him, pulling closer into his side. It was here that she felt so comfortable, and yet so guilty. Severus spent the night listening to her talk about James, and how they had made so many plans for Harry. She told him that what had brought them together was the defensive classes with Albus. She spoke about the various 'adventures' they had as part of the Order, and how he had been the only one there when her parents had died. Severus apologised, having known them himself, he had wished he had got to pay his respects also. Lily lamented about her estranged relationship with Petunia, and how that was the way of things from the moment the funeral was over. She talked about how hard it was to know that her sister had a child Harry's age and that they should be friends and yet that was something that she would never be able to hope for.

She told Severus about the last conversation and the ultimatum that she had been given, and that Lily was to have nothing to do with her and Vernon. She spoke about how she had tried to reach out—Muggle post, of course—inviting her to the wedding, and telling her about Harry. Petunia had returned the letters, all of them unopened. She spoke about her fear of Harry being too much like his father—running off looking for an adventure—and with the hand that Harry had been dealt his adventures would be a lot more dangerous than becoming an illegal Animagus. Severus listened, he didn't move from her side, and she didn't move from where she sat nestled into his side. Eventually, she fell asleep and Severus layed her gently on the couch. He rested her head on pillows and covered her with the blankets from her bed. Before leaving he automatically checked on the little boy who was sound asleep in his own room, and then he floo'd himself back to the castle, thinking as sad a night that this was for Lily, tonight had been pretty brilliant for him.

* * *

Lily woke the next morning to the shouts of her little man, Harry. She found herself on the sofa with pillows beneath her dead and blankets over her, so comfortable she could never believe that she had slept on the couch. She got up immediately magicking her bedding away and making her way up to her shouting child. It wasn't long before they were both ready and at the table with breakfast, Harry in his high chair with a bowl of cereal which he half ate and half unceremoniously threw about the lovely clean kitchen. She sat reading an old Daily Prophet that Severus had left for her the previous night, there was no _new_ news. She had heard nothing from Remus and Sirius, and they had been on the trail for a few days now, which had her concerned. She checked the notebook that Severus had given her—not a single message. She thought about adding a message, and then thought better of it, it had only been three days, and she knew that they would be ok. Lily knew that she would have a busier day, she had organised a playdate for Harry and Neville. The sole purpose of this was so the older witch would be able to help her sort out the absolute mess that was her head and heart.

She was ready, out of the door, into the car and feeling nervous a little before midday. It still amazed her that it took so long to get things ready with a little one. Her car was magically altered by Sirius to aid her in travelling long distances; the Longbottoms, after all, lived much further north than Lily. They had taken up residence in South Wales, a rural area that would keep them well out of sight, Alice lived in the North West of England. The alterations that had been made to the car would also keep her hidden from Muggles, the car was great for long trips to visit Alice in the country. It was also much safer for Harry than travelling by Floo. When she arrived in the little village of Barnton—in Cheshire—she slowed down. She didn't want to go home, and yet she was afraid of being with her friend; there was only honesty with Alice. She dreaded what she would hear, the guilt she felt for being so close to Severus the previous night weighed heavily on her. Eventually, she pulled up beside the woman's house, she sat for a moment debating, and yet realising that the weight couldn't be released until she opened up to someone, and she was the only one that she could open up to safely.

Lily walked up to the beautiful detached home, it was idyllic; ivy was creeping up and around the walls, she could smell honeysuckle in the homely garden, and lavender sprang out of the window boxes, adding its delicate tones to the beautiful aroma. She knocked on the heavy oak door, and it didn't take long for Alice to answer.

"Lily!" she smiled, Neville was waddling behind her, his chubby little arms grasping at his mum's clothes. "Come in!"

Lily walked into the comfortable home; it was a tad old fashioned for Lily's liking, but then Alice was a little older than her. Lily relaxed as they spent the first-hour talking toddlers and watched the two youngsters play. Harry had brought a few of his favourite toys, and Neville loved the little wand that Harry had brought, but in true toddler fashion, he did not want to share his precious toy. As the play settled and the wand was hidden away, Lily and Alice settled watching with a cup of tea.

"How is Frank?" Lily began.

She didn't want to get right into her terrible choices right now. Lily had been happy that they had survived their attack, but so worried about the repercussions for them. She was hoping to hear some good news, and it would be a real 'pick me up'.

"Well, Frank hasn't really made much more progress. He remembers Neville all the time now, and that _is_ something, and he's still the man I love, just without magic or a brilliant memory." She smiled softly. "It's not as bad as we thought."

"What about St Mungos? Do they have any answers for you?" she probed, it was a good topic, it kept her off her issues.

"They give him potions for memory and restorative potions. He has weekly checks ups, but nothing works, and he said he feels somewhat like a lab rat!" she laughed nervously.

"How about you? Are you ok?" Lily asked as she took a sip of her tea.

Alice did seem a lot better, but she knew it was hard. Lily didn't know how she would handle it, and she was very comfortable with a Muggle life.

"I've been able to do some small charm work," Alice replied with a smile. "I keep practising, but I wouldn't pass the first year with what I can do." This time the small laugh was more at ease. "I'm handling it all a lot better, it was what you said about Muggle miracles; I'm lucky to have what I have, and I would have stooped into full-blown depression without your support this year!" she smiled at the younger witch. "Anyway, how is your far more interesting life, three men and a baby!"

"Well, it's more a baby and me at the moment. I have been so anxious about Remus and Sirius; they have been tracking Wormtail for a while now. Severus is mainly at Hogwarts, but he came by last night, and I was so glad he did. I thought last night would be awful—a year to the day—I was dreading it, but he turned up and..." she stopped as the guilt rose up again. "I can talk to him; it's the kind of friendship we had before, you know," she stopped, her throat was dry, her eyes filled with guilt and shame.

"Did something happen with Severus?" Alice smiled.

"No! Heavens no. We talked, and he listened. I told him sort of how I had been feeling, but how I have been feeling wrecks me with guilt; it's only been a year, and I want to move on! I feel like I would be betraying him—James! I love James, I miss him, and I shouldn't want to move on so soon. I should be grieving, not enjoying another man's company!"

"Whoa," Alice soothed her. "Hunny, slow down! You can love another, and still love James, and honour his memory. It's not like James ever did anything, and if you let that argument win out now, you will never be able to move on. Do you really want to always be tied to _only_ honouring his memory? You deserve so much more."

"Severus said something similar," Lily paused as the tears started to spill, she wiped them away urgently. "I didn't mention feelings for a specific person, and I just said I didn't want to grieve anymore. How can I not want to grieve anymore? He died to save me, to save Harry! Am I dishonourable to him, to James?" she begged.

"No! Your heart shows in how torn you are, and it's clear you miss him and love him very much. But you have loved Severus for a long time as well," she paused and looked at Lily who was unwilling to meet her eyes. "Lily, look at me!" she spoke more sternly now. "He was a friend, a friend you loved, and a friend who hurt you deeply. Getting that back is going to be so confusing, and you might be seeing a far better man than you ever saw before. It's not dishonourable to feel love again, not after losing so much." The guilt didn't leave her friend's eyes. "What happened? You haven't acted on anything, so why do you look so guilty?" she asked, her voice still soothing.

"He came round in the evening and helped me with the washing!" Lily laughed easily, wiping the stray tears. "We sat and talked with a glass of red wine. We talked about anything and everything; the hurt from Petunia, my parents dying. I even spoke about how afraid I was that I wouldn't be able to move on fully, and that I would always want to honour James and that this might leave me alone forever. Sev pulled me into his side and told me that it was okay to have both, and I said what man would accept that?" Her tears began to fall, rolling down her cheeks yet again as she struggled to continue. "He pulled me closer, and I wrapped my arm around him; I cried, and he said: 'One that understands your worth.'" she paused, catching her breath. "I stayed there, hugging him, talking all night until I fell asleep, and it felt, not good, but like I wasn't in it alone anymore. It felt like it would be all okay. I wake up this morning, and he's gone back to Hogwarts, and all I feel is guilt like I betrayed James—like I cheated!" she finished.

"Okay, hun! No, just no!" she said bluntly, possibly even a little harsh. "It's been a year, and you're still confused about all this, but you didn't cheat! You only made a step forward, and this is a _step_ forward! You're recovering, please tell me that you believe James would want you to recover, to be able to move on?" she asked, but didn't wait for an answer. "I think you need to take your time, and you need to learn not to beat yourself up about this! But honestly, you've done nothing wrong! Severus comforted you because he cares, or at least I hope he does! Because if not I will summon what remaining magic I have left and unforgivable his ass!" she smiled.

Alice watched as the weight was slowly lifting from Lily, and then the guilt finally left her eyes. She was able to relax, and they spent the rest of the afternoon chatting about things that ordinary mums with toddlers talk about; potty training, new words and fun games that keep children entertained for hours.

The next months were harder for Lily; she felt like she was constantly fighting the guilt and then she worried about what it looked like to Severus. Not only that, but Remus and Sirius opinions factored into her thoughts and feelings regarding what was okay, and what wasn't. Lily was sure that they would all see what was going through her head, the conflict and the feelings that she was trying to contain. She didn't feel like she could act on anything, but she felt trapped and constantly had to remind herself of Alice's words.

* * *

Remus and Sirius had been on Peter's trail for weeks, and they had given up shortly after Halloween. The scent seemed seemed to lead to Hogwarts, and yet they knew that this couldn't be right? They felt sure that he would be caught in Hogwarts, after all the Animagus thing was no longer a secret that Peter could rely on, and a wizarding school was one place where people would be keeping an eye out for the magical. They had left a message with Dumbledore and then returned home. They returned to find things somewhat different between Lily and Severus, and Sirius obviously didn't read the signs, but Remus saw that there was a weight on both of them. There was an ease that they had always had, and now it had disappeared, but Remus thought he could sense that there was a desire for more between them too. It was clear in the way that Severus looked at her, and the way that she would avoid his eyes; the way that he would always be there to help her no matter what the task was. Lily and Severus' goodbye's each and every time he would leave—they were intimate—she always kept her distance, but her eyes wouldn't leave his. Lily would only ever say 'I'll see you soon'. Once he had disappeared into the Floo, she would linger for a while, and her eyes would be fixed on the spot that he had been in a moment before. Lily tended to busy herself with cleaning the kitchen, as though avoiding thinking about his absence, the kitchen that in most cases, he had already helped her to tidy.

Most of November and December passed in the same way. Remus would be going out checking all the old scent trails that they had found for Peter, but he rarely got a hit. It was just after Christmas when something came from all his hard work; it was in a small village called _Ottery St Catchpole_ , but only on the outskirts. Remus knew that there were a few wizarding families that had lived close by, but the place was teeming with field mice, occasional rats and lots and lots of garden gnomes. Remus' senses were not at their best, and this only seemed to be made worse because of the Wolfsbane potion; he found that he wasn't as sharp as usual. Remus had to return home with the Wolfsbane potion for the last few days in December, and when he returned on the first of January, the scent had already cooled and disappeared. Could it be that Peter had sensed him?

What Remus hadn't realised was that Peter was now going by another name, Scabbers. He was now the pet rat of one of the young Hogwarts students; Bill Weasley. The scent could be found around the area that he lived during the holidays, and would always disappear when term started up again because Bill took his loyal pet rat with him to Hogwarts. Remus didn't see it, still he and Sirius had assumed that he wouldn't be able to get into Hogwarts, but this was just another way that they underestimated their old friend, Wormtail.


	10. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 - One that understands your worth**

Sirius and Remus were posing as a dog and its walker. Remus wandered the vast countryside of Devon in a thick winter robe with a huge, but still amiable, black dog. They had spotted his scent here on numerous occasions, and now they were conducting a far more thorough search. It was laborious, to say the least, and lonely, as Remus didn't have anyone to talk to – dog Sirius did not count! Many a time he would get a funny look for talking to his furry friend.

The Devon countryside was filled with wild rolling hills and knee-high grass. The sky was clear and pale with the occasional silhouette of lone trees in the distance, which showed how hard the wind blew on that winter evening; it blew right through the thick cloak that was pulled tightly around Remus. It was bitterly cold, just after Christmas. In fact, the threat of snow loomed over them as the sun sank behind the hills soaking them with its golden hue. There wasn't a soul in sight, and so Sirius and Remus put their combined noses to work, desperately trying to catch the scent of Pettigrew. Aside from the wind, it seemed to be a peaceful night, but Remus wasn't calm. He was on edge, the smell that they had been following seemed to be growing cold already, and it was high time that Peter was in custody. Remus had in the last few days been able to smell their old friend; Peter stunk like he always had—it was distinctive to Remus after all the full moons that they had shared together—it was the smell of dust mixed with the overwhelming body odour of a person that had a nervous and sweaty disposition.

For weeks they had been skirting around the same broad area knowing that there was a residence nearby; however, they had been avoiding it. There was so much uncertainty in the Wizarding World these days and so when approached witches and wizards alike were shutting down, and were on the whole, very untrusting. Today Remus planned to try and approach the residence stealthily; he would throw a ball for Sirius in that direction. It was not the most sophisticated approach, but he thought it was by far the least imposing.

"Come on, boy, fetch!" he shouted as he launched the ball.

Sirius took the hint and silently bounded off towards the home of a family of wizards, not that Sirius or Remus knew much about that. Remus followed briskly, pulling his cloak around him as another gust of wind blew the cold to his bones. It wasn't long before he was met by a tall, sturdy wizard with flaming red hair.

"Good day, sir?" the red headed wizard asked.

He had a friendly voice but was clearly wary. Remus saw how the man looked at him; there was a questioning, almost scrutinising look in his narrowed eyes. The man was guarded, his arms folded across his chest, and he moved away from his home, seemingly to safeguard the occupants within. He seemed to be a family man, it was in the little details; discarded toys in the garden, numerous brooms leaning against the house—and perhaps more pointedly—the teddy bear that was peeking out of a pocket in his robes.

"Hullo!" Remus shouted keeping his tone light, as regardless of this man's allegiance he wanted to appear to be a friend. If Peter was being protected here, he felt for sure this wizard could not be trusted. "Lupin is the name, and yours?" he asked.

"Arthur Weasley." he smiled. "We don't usually get unknown visitors around here?" the man asked, without asking, for more information.

"Ah yes, I'm not from around here. I have been travelling with work," Remus' voice light despite the man's clear suspicion.

"Yes, it's just, you know… we like to be careful. I have children, and we don't want any bother," Arthur pressed Remus, being a little more direct.

Remus took a moment to think back on what he knew of the Weasley family; they were rarely part of the Pureblood agenda—despite being a pureblood family—and they were often drawn up to being blood-traitors because of their affection for Muggles. It was these simple facts that led Remus to take a chance, a chance that this man would not be on the other side of the war, and that he could be trusted, and maybe even become an ally.

"Yes, I, uh–understand." Remus paused, thinking. "Do you have proof you're a Weasley? It's just – I am concerned who I would be able to trust in these parts, as you say, I am not from around here."

"Usually the colour of my hair is good for most," the man laughed, pulling off a pointed hat. "But if you need proof to be more open, you can check my wand?" And with that Arthur held out his wand, the tip pointing towards Remus.

" _Cognosco_."

Then rising from Arthurs wand was the glittering, smokey image of the man before him, the man that owned the wand. Letters then emerged after the picture of Arthur—who smiled and waved—giving all of Arthur's details; his wand, name, and even occupation was listed.

"Ah yes. I use unicorn hair too, though I do favour a cypress wood." Remus smiled leaving his wand where it was.

" _Cognosco_."

Remus knew what it would show, but left his wand there anyway. He was used to the reaction, but what could be done? By hiding his lycanthropy, Remus could serve a long custodial sentence in Azkaban, but by being open with the wizarding world he received a hefty amount of judgment. It wasn't that this didn't bother Remus, because it did, but Remus had a family. He had his parents, but also Lily, Sirius, the rest of the Order, who took him as he was and knew his character despite his condition. Again, thin tendrils of smoke fluttered from his wand showing a more reserved wizard than Arthur, he merely smiled. Details of the wand followed, along with the other piece of information.

"Oh! You're a–er, an erm," Arthur stuttered, suddenly unable to make eye contact.

Remus' head sank. He was used to this reaction after all. "A werewolf," he whispered, and there was almost a hint of shame in his tone. "I use a potion called _Wolfsbane_ ," Remus continued, his head still bowed. He was the one unable to meet Arthur's eyes now, a man who now looked more sympathetic rather than showing any sign of aversion.

"When did it happen?" Arthur asked, his voice low but it brimmed with kindness as he attempted to meet Remus' eye.

"I was five." Remus busied himself, slipping his wand back into his robe pocket. "See, Werewolves weren't registered back then, but there was one Werewolf called Fenrir Greyback–he was somewhat notorious." Remus lifted his head slightly, yet he still refused to meet Arthur's eye.

"You're Lyall's son." His eyes were wide with recognition. "I heard the story; your father was a brave man, as a father myself, I just can't imagine." Arthur trailed off, unwilling to contemplate such thoughts.

"Yes, my father did his best to get Fenrir imprisoned, he was known for targeting people, and for relishing in the bloodlust that overtook him each month. As payment for my father's words at the Ministry of Magic, Fenrir Greyback targeted me. I do not blame my father. And thankfully, Albus Dumbledore made arrangements so I would still be able to attend Hogwarts." Remus smiled a weak smile.

"I think we can trust one another." Arthur smiled holding a hand out to the younger wizard.

Remus shook the offered hand, and he was filled with wonder at being accepted so readily. It was incredibly rare—regardless of the story behind his condition—as many feared and rejected him due to his status as a Werewolf.

"My condition has too strong a link to those who favour the Dark Arts," Remus replied, a look of shock on his face.

He followed Arthur a short distance through the dusk to his family home. As Remus got closer he saw just how strange the house was; it was large, though it jutted out at various interesting angles, it was like more 'house' was added as and when it was needed. The house leaned, towering over the garden like it might topple over at any minute. It was built from stone and brick with fantastic rustic beams which gave it a quaint, homely feel, if not a little quirky. Remus found it warm, inviting, and just like the red-headed man, friendly.

"Molly, dear," Arthur called, "we have a guest."

A woman walked out of the kitchen; she had the same flaming red hair, she wore a pinafore over her flowery dress, and her wand was sticking out of the front pocket. There were more signs of young children, the house was littered with toys and mess.

"How about a pot of tea then dear?" she asked warmly, as Remus walked into the kitchen. "Your pet dog, does he need some water?"

Sirius took the opportunity to change back to his human form.

"I'd rather have a cuppa too, thanks." He smiled, Arthur and Molly's eyes were wide,

"This is my colleague and friend – Sirius Black." Remus smiled. "We're kind of incognito," he whispered.

"Well, tea it is then." Molly started working in the kitchen – she was clearly planning more than a spot of tea.

"How can we help you then?" Arthur asked.

"We have been tracking a convicted murderer, Peter Pettigrew. His scent has led us to this area, and we wondered if there was anyone around here that would er– sympathise with his current predicament?" Sirius asked.

"Well the Lovegood's are a bit odd, they live just over the hill, but I can't see them siding with anything dark. They're just a bit– you know– loopy," Arthur mused. "The Diggory's are close by too, but again I think that's barking up the wrong tree."

Molly was back at the table with tea and warm, seemingly freshly home-baked biscuits. The aroma filled the kitchen, and somehow they felt even more welcomed than they had before. It was clear they were not a wealthy family, but Sirius swore if Molly opened her own bakery, she would soon be able to buy Malfoy Manor itself.

"I know he's been around here, Remus, I can smell him as soon as I change. Maybe he's hiding? Or– I dunno?" Sirius mused as he dunked another biscuit in his tea and took a huge bite. "That being said the scent isn't as strong as it was before Christmas!"

"Like I say, the Lovegood's are an odd family. Xenophilius writes a magazine; something called 'The Quibbler,' have you heard of it?" Arthur added.

"Yes. Not really what I would call my kind of publication," Remus joked.

"Well, he's the kind of person to believe a tall tale, so is Pandora really! Is Peter smart enough to convince them to protect him?" Molly asked, sipping her tea. "They believe some strange things and if he can get a good story; 'Peter Pettigrew: Framed' Xenophilius would eat it up, even something as foolish as an unknown beast invaded his brain! You know the kind of crackpot theories he comes up with, right, Arthur?"

"Yes, the 'Crumple-horned Snorkack."

Remus rolled his eyes.

"He's a bloody idiot. I doubt he could fool even that prat!" Sirius blurted.

"Actually," Remus interrupted, "we have underestimated Peter more than once." He looked pointedly at Sirius. "We made him the Secret Keeper for the Potters when You-Know-Who marked them for death. We never considered he could possibly be the spy, but he had been passing information from the Order for over a year. Once we found out, he managed to outwit this one again, and that's how he is missing!"

"If I know Xenophilius, and he believes some crackpot story, he'll protect Peter, no matter what. I would put all my Galleons that nothing would shake his belief. If you have to investigate this, it would be better to go even more incognito! Maybe it would be better if it's not you who goes looking."

Sirius scoffed, "If Xenophilius has believed Peter then he's a bigger idiot than I thought."

"About as big an idiot as you then," Remus added. "Stop underestimating him!"

"What if I organise a playdate with little Ginny and Luna?" Molly offered. "I'll just keep a little eye out, and then I can let you know if there is anything suspicious? Anything worse investigating."

"Now wait just one moment Molly," Arthur began, "if this fellow killed twelve Muggles, the chances are he won't bat an eye at you and Gin!"

"Now you listen to me, Arthur Weasley." she scolded as she pointed her finger in her husband's face. "I know more than cooking and cleaning spells! If that man is around here, I want him away from my children!" She glared at her husband. "To keep his cover, he can't go around killing innocent women and their children. If he's got two brain cells to rub together, he'll try hiding. I will just see if I can spot anything!"

Despite being a Gryffindor, Arthur was clearly not brave enough to stand up to his wife. Molly decided what she would do, and that was final. They arranged to meet in Hogsmeade a week later, and she would give them a report in private. Remus and Sirius planned to meet Albus and tell him everything that they had found.

* * *

A week later Remus and Sirius were waiting to meet Molly in Hogsmeade. The little village was just how they remembered it, but thankfully it was much quieter, clearly not a weekend when the Hogwarts students were out and about. They had meandered to some of their old school haunts, reminiscing, wondering at much had changed. The village had been filled with happier memories, memories of friends together, but they had lost half. James' death wasn't their only loss, to be here again for the sole purpose of hunting down Peter—their friend, who had betrayed them—was heartbreaking.

Eventually, they made their way down Hogsmeade highstreet and found the familiar pub. The doors were wide open, and familiar sounds of the public house echoed in the streets. It was carefree, something that had been so rare, but was just starting to creep back into wizarding society. The pub was a welcoming site, and they were soon inside with a pint of butterbeer—for nostalgia's sake, of course—sat waiting for Molly Weasley.

Remus again was very confused. "I can smell the scent again, it's fresh!" Remus stated. "It's like he's going between the two places – constantly!"

"Hogwarts!" Sirius exclaimed. "He's a stow-away."

At that moment Molly arrived. Neither Sirius or Remus was surprised that she had nothing to report. Soon they were off, ready to further their investigation.

* * *

The dungeons had always been a safe haven for Severus, mainly when he was a student, and now as he hid away from choices that he had made. He often felt that he had escaped all consequences for his actions, and his role as a spy was just a way of hiding away, just as he had as a student in the dungeons.

His hideout just happened to be his private chambers. He sat before his desk, which was littered with various essays and vials of multiple potions or varying qualities, his expression said it all. When he felt the heat in the inside pocket of his robes, he pulled out the small black notebook. Opening the journal, he found a message;

' _Hi Severus, Remus here. We need to arrange an order meeting. We've got intelligence on where Wormtail could be_.'

Severus smiled, it was an excuse to see her again. In an instant, he cleared the potions and essays into black work bag and made his way to the Floo.

"Hayworth Farm," he spoke clearly as he stepped into the fire.

Green flames surrounded the tall man and his billowing cloak, in an instant he vanished from one fireplace and shortly found himself in her kitchen.

"Lily!" he called, it didn't take long for her to appear.

"Severus," she smiled. "What brings you here during the week?"

Turning her back to him she put the kettle on, pulling cups from the cupboard.

"I got a message from Remus. I knew you were concerned with them being gone so long…" He watched her busying herself, and continued, "He asked that _we_ arrange a meeting for those that are still in the Order."

"Are they ok?" Lily busied herself pouring the tea and adding sugar. "What's the meeting about?" she asked, concern filling her tone.

"They just have some information on Peter Pettigrew's whereabouts. He didn't say anything else." He reached over, placing a hand on her arm comfortingly. "I'm certain they are ok." A rare smile played across his lips.

"Thank you for coming," she said, smiling, her other hand gently finding his, a slight blush to her cheeks. "Tea?" Turning away again she picked up both cups, and they moved to the table. Severus unloaded some of his essays from the bag and the potions that went with them. "How's school?" Lily asked.

"Too much work," he said, gesturing to the piles in front of him.

He took a sip of his tea and pulled an essay towards him, and taking ink and quill from his bag.

"Want help?"

"You're too nice to mark essays. You could test the potions though? I make notes on what's wrong, and far more rarely, right, with each one."

"Too nice?" she questioned brightly.

" _Far_ too nice. I fail at least half of my class – they would die of shock with the grades you would give!" He looked at her, and she laughed at him. 'Musical' he thought to himself.

"Okay, quill?" she asked.

Passing her one from his bag, Severus began making copious notes and scribblings on the essay in front of him. Lily pulled a potion towards her and noted the student's name and started making notes, pulling the stopper she sniffed the potion and coughed.

"Fail!" she spluttered, replacing the stopper on a vial of gloopy green potion.

"Maybe you've got the makings of a Potions Master after all!" He smiled for the second time.

"So when can we sort this meeting then?" she questioned, remembering his original reasoning for being there. "Some time you're free from your Hogwarts duties?"

"Not this weekend, I'm supervising in Hogsmeade. Easter break? I was going to come back to the house then," he asked.

"Brilliant, I can spread the word; Order meeting, Easter break," With that she put her head down to the task before her, the evening was filled with stolen glances and secret smiles. Harry was sound asleep.

* * *

Lily, Severus, Sirius and Remus were gathered in the magically enlarged living room, mismatched chairs were spotted around for all the various members. So far only Arabella Figg had arrived, and her task was mainly to occupy a very fussy Harry in his bedroom. Arabella was a squib and was only able to do so much; however, she had become a trusted babysitter for Harry.

"What time did you say, Lil?" Remus asked.

"I said seven," she glanced at her watch, "It's only seven-ten now," she added walking into the kitchen putting a kettle on.

She fussed over a tray of biscuits and cakes, collecting mugs and a large teapot. She was rushing around the kitchen still when the fire roared to life, and Aberforth walked out. He was an elderly man that looked so much like Dumbledore he could have been a twin. Aberforth had the same twinkling blue eyes and white beard, though he was a fair bit chubbier than his tall and slender brother.

"Lily," he strode over to her and enveloped her in a hug.

Many others followed him out of the floo, Dedalus Diggle, Elphias Doge, Mundungus Fletcher and Frank and Alice Longbottom. They were all gathered in the kitchen, many of them wondering why they were called, after all, the war was over.

Lily wanted to control how they found out that Severus was here. It was still generally believed—and encouraged—that Severus had hoodwinked his way out of Azkaban. The news that he was _one of them_ had not been shared with the wider members of the Order yet. Lily knew it would go about as well as a Hippogriff in a china shop, so she was a little on edge.

"Emmeline Vance isn't able to make it; apparently a lot is going on around the Ministry at the moment. Mad-Eye won't make it either, but I believe Albus is going to have another meeting to go over things with them next week."

"Well, that means we are just waiting on Dumbledore, Hagrid and Podmore?" She asked.

"Ah yes," said Aberforth, "Though I believe they will all be coming together shortly. Where are Lupin and Black?" Aberforth and the others made for the door,

"Ah, sorry! If you could wait for Albus. It's just we have a new member in there," she paused then added, "Dumbledore approved … Obviously."

Curiosity ignited within the group. They did not have time to force the issue as there was another sudden flash of green from the fire and out walked Albus with Podmore.

"Hagrid is coming now– not enough space." Albus smiled.

They stepped out, and the fire flashed green again, out walked a massive man with a shaggy beard.

"LILY!" he smiled pulling her into a huge, warm hug.

She looked like a child in comparison to the giant of a man, and possibly like he was going to break her back. She smiled, hugging him back. The rest of the room stood, waiting, expectantly.

"Well, I guess we should go through. Please bear in mind that this is Albus approved!" she finished nervously.

She pushed the door open and walked into the large living room. Severus stood there, flanked by Sirius and Remus. It seemed that the differences that Sirius and Severus sometimes had were put aside, if only for a short while.

It didn't take long for the group burst into outrage.

"Snape! In the order! No!" It was Podmore that made the most noise, but many others were complaining just as loudly.

"No! I can't believe it," Dedalus added.

"BE QUIET!" Alice Longbottom bellowed.

The atmosphere in the room instantly changed; no one spoke, and all attention was focused on the one that shouted, Alice. She pointed at Severus, and finally, she continued.

"Without that man, my husband and I would most likely be dead, or worse! Now past mistakes are _past_ mistakes. He has my forgiveness. He has Lily's and clearly Albus', Sirius' and Remus'." she paused. "Maybe you want to hear the man out before you call for his execution?"

With that everyone sat down, though they eyed Severus with suspicion.

"Severus, I feel Alice makes a valid point." Albus took a large comfy armchair, he was completely composed. "Those who know your story, are ready to trust and move forward. Maybe they too should hear your tale."

Severus' scowl said it all.

"I did work for– _Him_. I collected intelligence– mainly. I cannot deceive you, though" he paused. Severus' face was stern, his jaw clenched. "I have been responsible for deaths, however indirectly; from information that I have provided and potions that I brewed. I have been responsible for potions that tortured or allowed those who took them to stay conscious for more pain than is normal to bare. I told Lily, Remus and Sirius that if you forgive me, you should know what you are forgiving."

He paused, half of the people in the room looked at him like he was vermin, and he couldn't hold it against them.

"I will tell you briefly what led me to defect." He cleared his throat. "I had overheard some intelligence about _Him_ , and I didn't understand it. I didn't even hear it all, but I turned it over to ... _Him_. It was then that I learned that this intelligence would lead to Lily and her family's death."

He paused for a long moment, composing himself.

"I care for Lily," he paused again, all his sentences coming out staggered and nervous. He was nothing like the Severus they all knew, so sure of himself and forceful with his words.

"We were friends as children. I couldn't save her where I was, so I went to someone who could, Albus. I would give everything to save her, and Albus set up protection which you are all aware of. I realised Peter had betrayed her– erm– them, as I was in the room when he revealed the secret. As soon as I was able, I went to the Potters to tell them. I tried to protect them all. I managed to keep my cover, and if he were to return, I would maintain my role as a spy for the Order," he finished.

"Well, if is' good enuf fer Dumbledore, is good enuf fer me."

Hagrid was the only one that spoke, but his sentiments seemed to talk for at least part of the room. However, not all. It was clear though that they weren't going to question Albus. Albus' face was relaxed, smiling, it was an expression that said: _'end of discussion'_.

"I'd like to point out that firstly he left before Voldemort fell. Secondly, his intelligence has already saved Frank and me not to mention Harry– again!" Alice added.

"I wouldn't say we had been saved," Frank retorted, bitterly.

"And that is on me," Sirius spoke up.

Severus looked at him in shock. He knew that it was Sirius' fault, but for him to admit it, surely Sirius was growing up.

"I spent time accusing Severus rather than listening to him. I only gave his words any credence after Alice was taken. You can't hold that against him, can you?"

"I'm not gonna lie," Sirius continued. "I don't like him, we barely get along, but he isn't a Death Eater. He changed before there was any sign of Voldemort losing his power seat, so that's good enough for me."

The room was silent, no one was looking at Severus now, all eyes were fixed on Sirius. This man had a legendary hate for Snape, it had come up more than once.

"Anyway, we are here to talk about something entirely different, let's not waste time questioning our friends." Remus knew just when to divert the attention, though there were a few faces made at the word friend. "We have information about the whereabouts of Peter Pettigrew. Obviously, we know that he is an illegal Animagus and that he turns into a rat. We believe he is travelling with an unknown student to and from Hogwarts, probably from the Devon area. We spotted the scent first around Ottery St Catchpole. He could also just be sneaking into luggage, either way, he seems to be staying hidden within the wizarding world. Probably to keep track of what's happening."

"O.K. Well, Albus and Hagrid work there, they can find him can't they?" Podmore suggested.

"Not likely, he's a rat!" Severus had his usual sarcastic tone. "We need someone who would recognise this particular rat, that means Remus or Sirius or Lily."

"Animagus have defining marks, that's all that Albus, you or Hagrid would need, Snape." Podmore sneered at him.

"REGISTERED Animagus have markers, however, Peter, Sirius and James were ILLEGAL." He sneered back.

"Oh yeah, turned over a new leaf this one!" Aberforth mocked.

"I think that means that we need either Sirius or Remus in Hogwarts," Albus interrupted before Severus could start an all-out sneering war with his only brother. "Lily is to remain as inconspicuous as possible, in the Muggle world, with Harry."

Albus looked around the room, waiting for someone to question him, which they never did.

"I am certain that I shall have a Defence Against the Dark Arts post coming up in the new year." Albus smiled. "I think we should all consider which member would be best suited and reconvene before the Hogwarts summer holidays."

"Personally, I say Remus and I don't see that changing," Severus spoke up. "He might actually be able to teach the students as well as find Peter. My confidence isn't in Sirius who has been outsmarted twice already." He smiled at Sirius, it was a sarcastic, curled lip, kind of a smile, the kind that was more common with Severus.

"I do want people to take the time to think it over, Severus. I think that is all we need to discuss. It's good to know that the Order is still able to function in times of peace, maybe we might even keep the peace with a bit of luck." Albus smiled a bright and serene smile as he got up, the others following suit.

Only Alice lingered, waiting for the rest of the Order to file out she walked over to Severus.

"I wanted to thank you, Severus, from what I hear things could have been so much worse!" She smiled a warm smile. "You know she really cares about you, she just needs some time. A lot is going on in that head of hers, and her heart!" she put her hand on his shoulder squeezing slightly. "But I would really like to see her happy again."

Alice then followed the others and left the living room to go through the floo.

"Wait!" he said, following her to the kitchen. "I have a thought, hold Frank back."

Slowly everyone went through the floo system until only Frank and Alice stood there with Lily and Severus.

"Squibs can't use the Floo," he pointed out, bluntly.

Frank's jaw stiffened, his irritation all too clear. As much as Severus really meant no offence—in fact, he intended to be kind—he was not a people person.

"You misunderstand me; Aberforth had to take Arabella through. I thought it would be a good idea to see if you are able to go through, alone." his tone was still blunt, but his intent was clear; he wanted to give Alice something to hold on to. He tried to give her some hope, in repayment for her faith in him, though he knew he didn't deserve it.

"Frank, if you can Floo alone that would indicate that you would still able to perform magic–that there is something that can be done."

He looked at Frank, whose disdain and anger slowly faded, only to be replaced with suspicion. Severus knew this was the way that it would be, for now. Usually, he would be angry and bitter about it, but Lily's soothing presence, and more importantly, her trust eliminated his natural reactions. Frank stepped into the fire, he grasped a handful of Floo Powder and with a look of resignation he threw it into the flames.

"Barnton House," he muttered.

There was a rush of noise as the flames turned green, and he was gone.

"See, Alice, there is hope." Lily smiled.

Alice couldn't contain her own smile as she followed her husband. She was filled with just a little more hope.

* * *

Severus was not the most social of men, and when at Hogwarts, he rarely interacted with the other teachers. He prefers to remain alone, though he would never admit it, or say it out loud, he felt far safer that way. That was why he sat alone in his study, much like he did on most nights at Hogwarts. He sat in his high-backed leather chair, facing the fire with its brightly burning embers. Tonight, his mind was not focused on choosing solitude or the reasons behind his aloof behaviour. His mind unsettled and focused on the one person that he would give up his solitude to be with.

Things had been said, words had been spoken to him that could not be taken back, and Severus was stuck contemplating them. He tried in vain to decipher hidden meanings and agendas, ways in which he could be tricked or made a fool of. This was usually the purpose behind the kinder words that people spoke to him.

' _You know she really cares about you, she just needs some time.'_

The thing was, Alice was not the only one to speak to him on the matter. Alice inferred that he was the one to heal her hurts, that he would be the one to love her. He would do that in a heartbeat. Lily's words haunted him too, they fit with everything that Alice said, but he could not be sure that he was the one she wanted to accept her. He couldn't be sure that she wanted to move on with him.

' _Is that awful? that I want to move on after just a year?'_

 _'What man could accept that Severus?_ '

His mind was working on overdrive. Severus had a reason to go to her; a reason he should go to her. He was a smart man, and he could connect the dots; that was not the issue. The problem came when he thought about what was truly going on her mind. Would he be acting too soon, or maybe Alice was wrong, or she wanted him to do something soon just so Lily would push him away. Alice seemed to trust him, but she would have good reason not to, and she would want to protect her friend. Again, it comes down to what was going on inside Lily's head.

He had seen how torn she was on Halloween, the problem was what was she torn between? It was implied that it was being loyal to James and moving forward with him. Severus couldn't believe that, no, not him. He plucked up the courage walking towards the fire.

"Hayworth Farm," he said, his tone filled with determination. He then threw down the Floo powder and with a flash of green he was gone.

* * *

Lily was up in little Harry's room. He played in the corner with his chunky crayons, drawing everyone with abnormally large heads, stick arms and stick legs–all the brightest colours where used. Lily was putting away all his tiny clothes while listening to Harry who had become quite talkative;

"Mama, see ma dawing." He waddled over holding up a picture.

"OH Harry!" she beamed. "This is beautiful!"

She picked up a colourful drawing with four figures, and what looked like a dog. They all looked reasonably the same, but the smallest had to be Harry. There was one with long orange hair, that would have to be Mummy, of course.

"And who are these?" Lily asked, pointing at the other figures,

Harry pointed at one all in black and said, "NAPE!"

Next, he pointed at the giant head with red lines running through it.

"EMUS!" he declared with a huge grin on his face.

Finally, he pointed at what looked like a black dog, and shouted, "SIRI!" Harry clapped then swinging his arm and pointing at the dog. "SWOOOSH! aaaaand POOF!" he giggled, and then went back to his drawing.

With that Lily heard the Floo and shouted, "Upstairs!"

Already, she could hear footsteps on the stairs. They were steady but quite like the one who was approaching was used to concealing themselves. Lily went back to her tidying when he walked through the door of Harry's room,

"NAPE! NAPE! NAPE! NAPE!"

Harry jumped on the spot shouting the name of one of his favourite visitors. He bounded over to the man pointing at the drawing of the man, and continued shouting, "NAPE!"

Lily turned watching the man crouch before the little boy.

"Wow Harry, this is a– er– beautiful drawing," Severus replied awkwardly.

He wasn't the most comfortable with Harry, but he did his best. The little boy started to pull at the man's signature robes, one of the things that defined little Harry's drawing of the man.

"Do we not need to make my nose bigger?" Severus asked.

Harry laughed saying, "Ery ery big!"

"And to what do we owe this pleasure?" Lily asked, smiling.

"I need to speak to Remus. I was going to start brewing another Wolfsbane this month. I needed to speak to him first about... alterations."

Severus was happy he had this reason, so it wasn't like he was always there for her, just to see her. After all, he was a man that didn't want to feel like the girl of his dreams could smell the desperation on him.

"He nipped out to the corner shop, but he should be back any moment."

Lily continued to smile. She tried to rain it in, but couldn't seem to. Severus stood up walking towards her. Somewhere he wondered if this were a sign, a moment that he needed to act upon. Harry wasn't impressed.

"NAAAAAAPE!" he was whined as he reached up to the tall man, opening and closing his tiny hands.

Strangely enough, Severus obliged and picked up the little boy as he walked over to the woman. The atmosphere built, neither looking away as if they were hurtling towards a moment that might just change everything. It was as he got closer that her gaze shifted, and she turned to continue with her task.

" _So_ many clothes," she said, drawing out the words awkwardly. "I _really_ need to sort these out!" She focused on the task in front of her. She blushed intensely as he neared her, standing only an arm's length away. Severus didn't move, lifting a hand he brushed some hair from her face, her blush became even more prominent.

"Lily," he began,

"Sorry, Sev!" Her eyes were shining with half-formed tears, though she didn't break their contact. "I," she paused. "I don't know-" she whispered, as she brought her hand towards his.

"It's ok," he said affectionately.

And then he dared to act. Leaning towards her, he placed a gentle kiss on her forehead.

"I'm frightened too."

He never moved his eyes from hers, hoping that she could see just how afraid of this he truly was. She looked panicked and unsure of what had happened, what could happen, and Severus knew that he had pushed her too far.

"I -just can't," she spoke stiffly, though she leaned in closer.

It was at that precise moment that the front door slammed. Remus then shouted, "Lil, I'm back!"

Lily immediately stepped away from Severus and took Harry into her arms.

"Kisses!" Harry shouted, and Lily planted a big kiss on his cheek.

"Severus is here to see you," she shouted, her eyes still fixed on his.

Then Lily walked out of the room. He stood motionless, the moment replaying in his head. What could he have done differently, how had he been filled with so much promise and now it was gone. He followed her down the stairs and greeted Remus. He worked hard at keeping his face straight like nothing had even happened. His jaw, however, was tight and his posture tense making it evident that something had set the man on-edge.

"I wanted to speak to you about this months Wolfsbane potion," his tone was matter-of-fact. "Would you mind coming to Hogwarts. I'll be brewing there… Exam period..." he finished lamely.

"Sure," Remus replied.

It sounded almost like a question. Remus was confused, the man had always done anything he could to remain in the little house—close to Lily—and now he was rushing off? Remus watched as Severus walked straight through to the fire and grabbed Floo powder, and soon he disappeared from the fireplace altogether.

Remus turned to Lily and asked, "What did you do to him?"

"Nothing!" she exclaimed.

"Sure Lil, he's found every excuse under the sun to be here lately, and now he has a _real_ reason he's high tailing it back to Hogwarts. I have never seen him move so fast, and he wants me to follow!"

Lily's eyes welled up as she looked away from Remus.

"Lil?"

"I-" she paused.

The room filled with silence, she stood looking at Remus, her lip trembling as if she was frightened of what she could possibly say.

"I– almost... almost, kissed him," she said, her voice trembled with the fear of what she was admitting. "But then I remembered James; it's not been that long, so I stopped myself," the words tumbled out of her mouth, each one jumping out before the previous statement had time to settle.

Remus reached over and put Harry on the floor, pulling Lily towards him in a brotherly hug. A gentle kiss placed on her forehead, just were Severus had kissed her moments ago.

"It's ok," he assured her. "I think it's time you allowed yourself to be happy again."

They stood there, Lily cried in Remus' arms, her head snuggled into his chest.

"It's so confusing, Remus. I don't know what to do," she sobbed.

"Stop feeling guilty about it!" he urged her, his arms tightening around her. "It's going to be ok," he said as he pushed her away, backing off with a smile. "I'll go fix Severus for you!" he laughed.

Lily smiled through a single tear at him, a little more of the weight she was feeling was lifted.

* * *

Remus had immediately Floo'd to Severus' quarters at Hogwarts. They had not always seen eye to eye, and while he wasn't sure how Severus saw him, Remus considered him a friend.

Severus' quarters were dismal, they were dark and depressing. It seemed to Remus that it really didn't help the man's dower demeanour, and maybe some colour could lighten his mood. There were little touches of comfort which made it somewhat homely–for Severus at least. The furniture was dark cherry wood, the bookcases were filled to the brim with books, the odd artefact sat on the shelves. It suited Severus.

Remus stood in the fire, he watched as his new friend busied himself with various ingredients and an already bubbling cauldron. It was evident that he was flustered and he refused to give any attention to the man that had just appeared in his office.

"Lily told me what happened."

Severus' head turned sharply looking at Remus, the look on his face showed just how guilty he felt.

Severus stuttered a reply, "I misread the signs, it won't happen again!"

He began pulling completely random—and incorrect— ingredients from the shelves.

"Okay! What did _you_ do?" As far as Remus was concerned more had gone on than Lily considering kissing the man, and he definitely wanted to know what.

"I got the wrong idea from Alice, I kissed Lily! It won't happen again."

Severus' attention still focused on the random bottles in front of him. He seemed unwilling to meet Remus' eye, like what he had done was some cardinal sin.

"You didn't get the wrong idea from Alice. That woman is about as subtle as a Bludger to the face!" Remus laughed. "She is also more in tune with how Lily feels than Lily. As for the kissing, that's a bold move for you."

"You didn't see her reaction. I completely freaked her out, how I could ever imagine, never mind, what's done is done!" Severus turned away, shaking his head.

"She was freaked out?" Remus asked confused. "What did you do? Dip her and ravage her?" he laughed.

"Ravage? Merlin, no! I kissed her on the forehead!" Severus gasped.

"The forehead?" Remus looked at him incredulously, smirking. "A kiss on the forehead! You need to step things up a notch!"

Severus ignored him and began flipping through pages of a potions book erratically.

"I'm not drinking any potion that you brew until you calm down. Sev, she's just feeling guilty, that's all! She was going to kiss you; did you know that?" Remus looked at Severus, urging him to believe the truth.

It was evident in Severus' eyes that he didn't, or rather couldn't, believe that truth. There was something inside him that made the idea seem so unlikely, made it appear that no one could except him in their lives. It was true, he was abrasive, rude and demanding to be around, but the more time Remus spent with him, he saw more. Severus, behind all the darkness, was an intensely passionate and emotional man, and he valued him as a close friend.

"She worries," he continued, "about how wrong she must be to want to move on so soon. Trust me, you're barking up the right tree!"

Severus looked at him, not saying a thing. There was a look of complete confusion on his face like he was trying to do the math and it wasn't adding up.

"I'm completely for you barking up that tree, Severus."

"And Sirius?" he questioned. Severus' tone and countenance were far steadier than it had been for some time.

"Well you and Sirius don't agree on much anyway, why start now?" he replied. "Anyway, you wanted to discuss my _Wolfsbane Potion_?"

Severus relaxed completely and turned to his books yet again. He found that now he was able to focus on what he was good at, knowledge, learning, creating and adapting a potion. It helped him to detach and regain his footing.

"What I am proposing is fairly dangerous, but I have been thinking about adapting the _Wolfsbane Potion_ , I think that we can improve your experience. I want to add a little more Monkshood. I'm thinking we increase each month until we find a good balance. Each month we would only make tiny changes, possibly add slightly more Dittany to counteract the extra poison?" Severus was rambling. "I would like to add powdered silver; it's dangerous, but I've been researching a lot these last eighteen months, and I think it could work. I believe with work we may even be able to prevent a transformation one day… but it's hazardous!"

"You seriously think you can do more? That you can improve on what the _Wolfsbane Potion_ already gives me?"

"I think it foolish to assume that it can't be adapted– perfected. I think that the only way a cure is found is if people are brave enough to search for it."

Remus smiled, overwhelmed at Severus' choice to make things better for him–improve his experience. It was strangely reminiscent of Sirius' and James' ridiculous idea to become Animagus; stupid, dangerous, and an effort to make the full-moon bearable.

"You think that you could be the Wizard that cures Lycanthropy?" Remus asked,

"No, I think _we_ can make progress. I will need full reports on your experience, and on every variation of the potion. I need to understand how each ingredient affects the transformation, and it's with that knowledge that we can make the right changes. I don't pretend to be confident that we will find the cure, but I do think we can head in that direction."

"Ok!" Remus stammered. "Yes, I'll do it!" he smiled at the potions master. "What does that mean for this month?"

"A final month on the original Wolfsbane, and a detailed report to follow."

* * *

Severus found out who the new Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher would be in the last staff meeting of the summer term. To say he was disappointed was an understatement – he would be working with none other than Sirius Black. He wanted nothing more than some comfort and a friendly face, something he hadn't had in some time.

Despite Remus' words, Severus had remained distant from Lily, knowing just how confused she was. He found it hard to be there, to see the torn look in her eyes. Severus now walked out of the meeting and could think of no one else to talk to – he needed Lily.

Progress had been made with Sirius, but the thought of working with him for an entire year—with no escape—it wasn't pleasant. It felt too much like Hogwarts. Severus strode purposefully through the halls. Students that lingered in the corridors immediately removed themselves from his presence, hurrying to wherever they were supposed to be. It wasn't long before he was again in his familiar office staring at the glowing embers, debating if he should call.

"Hayworth Farm."

He was transported to the large and familiar kitchen, which was as warm and inviting as ever. He could smell food in the oven, the fire was glowing, and everything was silent except for the distant sound of Lily running Harry's bath upstairs.

The living room was lit with lamps that filled the room with a warm light. The Muggle television was on – muted. He sat in an armchair – his armchair, waiting. He would be seeing Remus as well this evening, he had had his first transformation and had taken notes. Severus was going to use this to help him decide if and how he should make the changes he was thinking about.

"Hullo!" Lily called from upstairs.

"It's just me," He called.

He was thankful that she was busy, mostly he was glad to have a little extra time to pluck up some courage. It had been weeks since he saw her, and the last time had been the awkward forehead kissing incident.

"I'll be down in ten minutes; I'm just reading Harry's story."

He didn't use the time all that well, he focused on pulling apart everything that Lily, Alice and Remus had said recently. He obsessed about what he wanted this talk to accomplish, and what he wanted for Lily–with Lily. He found that entwined with all of this was a little boy who was currently being settled to sleep upstairs. Potters child. How would it impact him in the long run?

He knew—if he got his heart's desire in Lily—it wasn't something he would let go easily. His mind was consumed with what everyone would think–mainly Sirius. He didn't understand why that particular person's opinion mattered so much. He wasn't able to fully work through this conundrum, as far too quickly Lily could be heard tiptoeing down the stairs.

"Sev?" she stood at the bottom of the stairs uncertainly, looking at the man in her living room. "I missed you," her voice was quiet, nervous almost.

She sat next to him, careful to keep to her side of the small sofa. His eyes met hers, which were still unsure. Her emerald eyes bore into his onyx ones, usually cold, but today full of warmth, longing and fear.

"I missed you too."

Severus held out a hand to Lily, and he guided her closer gently wrapping his arms around her. She leaned into him, saying nothing. It was comfortable, casual and like it was the most natural thing in the world, especially the way that her head gently rested in the crook of his neck.

"Don't stay away again." She curled herself into a compact little ball, snuggled next to him on the sofa.

"You want me to be around?" he asked tentatively.

"Yes, always."

"Lily, I have loved you a long time, and I want more than to be around," Severus said, though he couldn't seem to look her in the eye.

"I don't want something small either, Sev," she whispered.

That little sentiment was all that he needed; his hand cupped her face, and he lowered his head to meet hers placing a kiss on her delicate lips.

Gently, she leaned into the kiss. Lily's arms found their way up the plains of his chest and were soon wrapped around his neck, pulling him closer. The kiss suddenly deepened. Lily smiled as she pulled away because today she felt no guilt. She only felt happiness.

As he saw her smile, he stole another quick, gentle kiss. His heart swelled; surely after all of his mistakes, he didn't deserve to be _this_ happy. Then again, that is the nature of forgiveness, it no longer takes account of past mistakes, he felt clean as though his past did not even exist.

"I hate to break the mood," he interrupted, "but I actually came to see Remus."

"He went to see Arthur Weasley. Apparently, they are fast friends." She smiled. "He'll be back later." And with that, she snuggled so close she was effectively sat on his lap. With his arms still around her, affectionately stroking her back, he was lost in the moment.

"This is perfect," Severus sighed.

"It is, isn't it." She smiled. "How's work?"

The effect broke the atmosphere, and soon their night was just like any other, except that they were entwined on the couch.

"Sirius will be working there next year." He scowled.

It all came back to him now, why he'd needed her. The impending fear that the next school year would be just like when he was a student. He feared feeling like that person all over again, that child that was bullied and less than Sirius and his friends; could it be like that still?

"It won't be like school, Sev. Things have changed with you and Sirius." It seemed that she knew exactly what he was thinking and what he was afraid of. "He's changed," she said pleadingly. "It might even help you and Sirius move forward, you and Remus are good friends now."

"I don't know about that." He restrained a sneer. "Remus has a theory."

"A theory?" she asked with a grin.

"He says that Sirius and I are too–alike." He raised an eyebrow in sceptic disapproval.

"Yea? So how does he say you are alike?"

"Apparently, we both like to hold grudges!" he scoffed.

"I can see that. I see some understanding from Sirius, but like you cling to the pain caused, he seems to cling to the past." She looked at him. "Are you able to be the first to let it go?"

"I don't know" he whispered.

"You need to change your focus. Think about a different version of Sirius, like when he stood up for you the other night."

Severus pulled away, and there was a sceptical expression on his face. "And I quote; ' _I'm not gonna lie, I don't like him, we barely get along'_ " He looked her in the face questioning.

"I didn't say it was all good." She laughed at his sneering face, and in doing so lightening his mood. "He cared enough to tell other people to shut up. That is that you need to remember."

"We shall see how he handles this little development." Severus opened his arms, drawing attention to her nestled on his lap.

"Ooo, that is something to discuss, Sev. I don't want to confuse Harry." She looked at him, waiting for the hurt. Lily knew Severus through and though, and this would scream rejection to him.

"I know, I don't either," he replied thoughtfully.

That little nugget just showed how much he had changed, that now he had some understanding that went passed how things affected him. It wasn't that he was a self-involved person, but his default setting was rejection.

"I guess we take little steps. When you think the time is right, we can be a little more open with Harry. I also can't be open with you Lil. What I mean is, if I'm going to go back to … Him, no one can know about this. If or more likely when he returns, I have no idea how that works." There was a frown and worry that this was, in fact, a deal breaker. After all, what woman would have a double life, especially for someone like him?

"I have been thinking about that, it would put you in a tough spot. He'd either kill you for defecting or expect you to deliver Harry to him on a silver platter." Lily moved from his lap, hugging her knees, her face filled with worry.

Severus' mind went to his usual assumptions that people would obviously be thinking the worst of him. It only stood to reason, after all, he had been the worst he could be.

"Which I obviously wouldn't do."

She glanced up at him, a confused expression. The realisation of what he had taken from her words, and she could not help correcting him, "I don't want him to kill you either, Sev."

"So, it's just one more secret; something we only share with those that we truly trust." He smiled at her. "It will be ok," he paused a moment, worry filled his face. "If that's what you want, there are many who you would be able to be out in the open with, I would understand," he finished.

"But none of them are you." She smiled, and she felt him relax next to her.

They sat there in silence together for some time before they heard the Floo. The familiar sound of Remus getting out of the floo shook them from their blissful state. Lily pecked Severus on the cheek before getting up.

"Tea then?" she asked, as she walked through to the kitchen.

Severus didn't move, trying to hold on to that moment. It felt to him like a reality check, regardless of what Remus had said to him, it didn't seem likely that this would be a welcome change. For all he knew, Remus was being kind; believing that Lily would let him down gently. Maybe he was being cruel; waiting for Severus to be turned down in the most humiliating way, and then there was the far more likely, that Remus would think it was just too soon.

"I'm _starved_ , Lil," Remus declared as he sniffed the mouth-watering aromas.

"Set the table. Sev is here to see you."

Lily tried to hide her secret smile, but he caught sight of it. Remus couldn't help but be happy, after all, two friends had found a little happiness in what had been a dark world. It was almost a symbol of the light at the end of the tunnel that was the dark wizarding war.

"Severus, you want my notes?" Remus pulled a roll of parchments from an inside pocket. "They are a bit messy, I wanted to get everything down as soon as I was back in my usual form."

Severus, being more in his element here, poured over the notes, at ease once more. "So, the transformation is very painful?" he asked, his eyes drifting across the crumpled sheets.

"Yes, it's so pronounced that it's what I remember most."

"I think we need to add more Dittany to the potion then, to help relieve the pain," he mused. "The other notes are useful, but I think you will be able to give a clearer account if you're not suffering so much pain." He began making notes in his battered potions book, the page was devoted to the Wolfsbane Potion.

"Sev, Dittany heals, but it doesn't actually relieve any pain," Lily shouted from the kitchen. "I'd suggest using Valerian Root."

"Valerian Root would counteract the Wolfsbane poison completely," Severus added.

"You're still going to have to use something other than Dittany! It doesn't stop or prevent pain, in fact, it hurts like hell."

"Featherfew?" he called back.

"Wouldn't counteract anything, but it's very weak," she responded.

"Do you have any good ideas?" he asked mockingly.

"Pain relief should be separate to the potion itself!" she added as she walked in with a beautiful golden brown pie, Remus followed with a serving dish with potatoes and another with greens.

"I know many good pain relievers, but it's always better to have one potion that does everything, multiple potions mean many more contra-indications."

"Contra-indications?" Remus asked,

"Various ingredients and how they react together, as we have said Valerian Root would just prevent the wolfsbane from doing what it needs to do." Severus clarified.

"I can do research on various strong pain relievers and their contra-indications for you? You could be looking at the other points Remus was able to make," Lily offered as she dished out the creamy chicken and mushroom pie.

"I can help, Lily. I don't want to be useless," Remus added.

"Nonsense, these notes alone are going to be extremely helpful." Severus continued to make notes, his eyes never leaving the parchment.

"This is a good pie, Lil." Remus began stuffing the hot crust and tender filling into his mouth.

"Are you always this… ravenous, after a full moon?" Severus enquired.

"I can't eat when I'm transformed under the _Wolfsbane Potion_. I've left various foods out, but I just can't, whereas without it, I crave… meat, it's the main drive."

"Interesting," he mused, adding more notes to a page already littered with annotations. He somehow managed to do this while simultaneously eating the pie. "This is good pie though." Severus' hand snuck under the table and gave her knee an affectionate squeeze.

As they continued their meal, Severus remained engrossed in his notes and proceeded to ask Remus question after question about his transformations. Remus chose not to make a big deal of the developments. Severus and Lily didn't flaunt it, and she was happy it felt like a regular night with a man that she cared deeply for and the man that she loved.

Severus went back to Hogwarts relatively early, a Potions Exam was being sat by his fifth-year students in the morning, and he needed to supervise. Before he left he pulled Lily close to him and kissed her gently. Her arms wrapped around his neck and she hugged him tightly.

"I'll see you tomorrow?" she asked.

"Of course," he replied, she stepped back, and the green flames engulfed him.


	11. Apologies

Authors Note

Everyone, I want to thank you for reading this little baby. I am afraid that I will not be publishing any more of it. I have a lot of material for it, and I am happy to send this to someone that wishes to continue the story. I have no inspiration for it anymore, and I have truly struggled with it. It was my first fanfiction and it has been re-written more than once. I tried to keep going with it as long as I could, but I have found that I cannot continue.

PM me if you would like to adopt the story. I am happy to send you all my files on it. I am also happy to link your story so others that have loved and read this story can continue through another writer. Thank you all again

Verity


	12. Adoption

**Adoption**  
I would like to let you know that this story has been adopted. Renee1798, who has continued the story, has all of my notes and everything that I have written thus far, that is up to chapter 23! I have complete confidence that she will continue to do a fantastic job with this story and I cannot wait to read each chapter. She has my permission to make any alterations that she wishes. Renee has also asked if she can contact me regarding the story, which I have said that she is always welcome and I will always give input when it's asked for.

I just ask that everyone have a little understanding of my inability to finish it and to support Renee in her writing. I cannot wait to see what she does with it! The link to her story is below:

s/13392725/1/A-Double-Agent

Thank you for your understanding

Verity Grahams


End file.
